Let it be Autism

Say it Loud and Say it Proud!

2011-12-05T14:32:00.001-06:00

I've never, ever liked the bumper stickers people have on their, of course, bumpers that read "My Child is an Honor Roll Student at Whatever School". They didn't have those back in my school days, and my mom would never have put it on her car's bumper to begin with ("Bumper stickers are trashy!" she would say.) I always felt they were a bit braggish, and extremely corny. I have to admit when some smart ass came up with the "My kid can kick your Honor Student's ass" bumper stickers in rebellion, I enjoyed those a little more, but they were even trashier!

Having said that, I just put a "window cling" (a much classier option than a bumper sticker someone has decided) that reads "My Child is an Honor Roll Student at F---- Middle School" in the rear window of my company car (hope the boss never notices). Casey brought the "cling" home along with a nifty black ribbon that said the same and a letter from the principal extolling the virtues of our magnificent student who maintained a B+ average this first marking period. I am beaming with pride, and thus felt so inclined to apply the "cling" to the let world know he is in fact, on the Honor Roll!

My whole mindset it seems, has changed, I'm realizing more and more over the past several months. The "cling" represents the different outlook I have on Casey. Gone are the days of Autism Awareness ribbons slapped on the back of my car for all the world so to see. I want the world to see we have an Honor Roll Student in my car, and not someone they should pity, or be curious of or worse, be frightened of.

I want people to know we have a boy who has been on a soccer league, a baseball league, taken dance and briefly, piano lessons. I want people people to know that our boy can skate with full hockey gear on, that he swims on a swim team and has won ribbons for doing so. It doesn't matter what kind of league, or team, it just matters that he's done them. I want people to know he creates brilliant animated shorts on the computer and can write stories, and can comprehend what he reads, and understands what is said to him. I want people to know he's hilarious.

Yes, the colorful Autism Awareness ribbons are gone. I don't want his Autism to define him at all, and in fact, I don't want to define Autism anymore to people when they learn somehow he has it. Frankly, I don't even care to use the word "Autism" unless it's absolutely necessary. I'm not ashamed to use it, but I have never known a word that can suck the life out of a situation or conversation like Autism often does. You may or may not understand that but trust me. I might get some flack for that one, but it's my blog.

And so, my joy and pride in applying my cling, despite my former feelings on honor roll student advertisements, may be more acceptable and better understood now. He is a person on the honor roll and so,so much more!

Sickness Befalls Us....

2011-01-09T17:42:00.004-06:00

I'm just going to pretend that 3 months and lots of stuff didn't pass by, and that my blog is completely current and up to date! I ask that you do the same!

This was just one of those weekends. Bill started out coming down with the flu on Friday, and this is the real flu, not a stomach virus. He's had the chills, aches, pains, coughing, you name it. He swiftly retired to the boudoir after getting home from work and has pretty much been there since. Casey and I kept a respectful distance, and I washed hands profusely! Loading up on Vitamin C, I was confident I wouldn't be affected.

The weekends are sorta hard enough, trying to keep Casey off the computer and busy. The extreme cold doesn't help and the cancellation of plans due to Bill's illness doesn't help either! So, I took the "glass half full' attitude and decided I would entertain Casey on my own and make his weekend fun. No worries.

But, when I woke up Saturday morning, that familiar tickle in my throat began to irritate, alerting me to an oncoming sickness. I plowed through the day in denial, taking Case for a workout, to lunch, to the library. However, as I stood watching him making his selections in the video section, I knew Bill had breathed on me too much! Damn Bill! How dare he breathe!

My body started to ache and an itchy, irritating cough erupted from my sore throat. Rushing Casey along, I told myself, it's just a cold, I'm fine. Yeah. I'm fine.

Later that evening, Bill and I both sounded like we were hacking up a lung, and Bill was shivering with his robe, a hoodie, and sweat pants on under blankets. The outlook for much more fun this weekend was grim.

The night was sleepless, due to that lousy feeling, the cats making noise, and having drank diet Pepsi at lunch time! (Yes, I'm old, caffeine effects me badly sometimes!) Despite feeling like total crap today, I was still telling myself, I was okay. I could get him out and do some things. So what if I was shivering and I sounded like a lifetime smoker when I coughed! I was cooool.

We ventured out again, to the pet shop, to Quiznos, and as I considered swimming, I told myself I really need to give up. I felt like crap.

I've been laying around ever since, shivering, coughing, feeling horrible. Casey has been trying his hardest to be comforting, but couldn't fight the urge to come into the living room where I lay, griping about how this was not a fun weekend at all! I apologized limply, feeling guilty that it wasn't, and slightly irritated at his lack of sympathy. Why was I irritated by this, or surprised? Tough emotion for kids, and especially those on the spectrum!

Bill and I made a pact, as we lay side by side coughing, that we would make it up to him next weekend!.... Fingers crossed the 3,000 mg of Vitamin C a day I've been giving Case keeps this bug out of him!

Time Flys When Things are Up in the Air!

2010-10-08T07:22:00.006-05:00

Wowzer! I cannot believe we are 5 weeks into school and I have yet to post a single entry on my beloved BLOG.

The summer flew by pretty much without a hitch. Camp was great, Casey loved it and really had a wonderful time. We struggled with the last couple of weeks of no camp/no school to keep him tended to and busy. But other than that, a really, really lovely summer was had by all!

Having said that, I spent much time this summer, despite all the pleasantness, being a bit anxiety ridden over the approaching school year and what it had in store for our boy. Going back through my previous posts, I noticed a huge lack of info regarding his 7th grade year. I'm wondering if I was just avoiding the issue, or was being lazy, or both.

If it was because I was avoiding the issue, that would be due to our big decision to put him in a new setting for his 7th grade year at a whole new school. For years now, he's been in what is referred to in our district as an "AI' program, or for all of you who have trouble with acronyms as I do, an "Autistically Impaired" program. In short, usually a small group, 4 to 5 students with 2 paraprofessionals and a teacher. This has been his life at school since he was about 1 and 1/2 years old. It's very controlled, good in some ways, not good in others. We have been lucky to have great teachers and paras. The concept of the AI class for Casey was probably a bit of a mistake after about 4th grade.

But, and that's a big "but", he was safe, and worse yet, he was always the star of the show! He was always the highest functioning in his group. If I had had a "Casey" in his room with him, I would have been thrilled as a parent.

A dear friend of mine who is also my advocate, and in a way, a mentor in all things educationally related with our kids, was constantly pushing for her son to be in regular ed. based on all her vast knowledge on Inclusion she had gained from numerous conferences she's attended and books she has read. I kept Casey in the AI, because I didn't go to a lot of conferences, I didn't read a lot of books. He was safe in the AI rooms. Was she nuts to send her guy out into the real world?

I think in hindsight, my friends belief that inclusion was the best thing for many of our kids was rubbing off on me, but not to the point that she was at. So, 5th and 6th grade came and went. I got a bee in my bonnet, and forced some issues with him being in what is called the Cross Categorical classrooms part of the day then. This Cross Cat., for short, is a program for children who have varying "disablitiies" and not necessarily Autism. They run the program pretty much like a regular ed. program, but with many modifications to help the kids get through the day on their terms. I felt safe still, knowing that there were paras in that program as well. And those kids weren't "typical" either.

But, it never really worked for him, especially in 5th grade, when there were just too many transitions, and a special ed. teacher, who believe it or not, admitted she had little knowledge on teaching children with Autism! Going back and forth between AI and Cross Cat. with different rules and paces and kids was a lot for him to handle. Not until they actually scheduled time with the Cross Cat. for all the AI kids did it ever really work for him. Structure. That's all it takes usually.

And so, once I saw how well he was doing with being in Cross Cat. part of the day in the 6th grade, it hit me that perhaps it would work all the time, and that he needed the chance to experience this full time. This decision became cemented in my brain after going to the Open House for the school he would be attending in 7th grade.

Long story sorta short, I went, saw the same almost preschool like setting there, for 7th graders, that he had always been exposed to. The kindly speech therapist showed me the reading curriculum they used, which was something he had done years and years ago. He would go from one room, to another room all day with the same, mostly non verbal kids he was in class with now, while the other 7th graders traversed the faciltiy, going room to room, new experiences, new classes, new kids. There were televisions in the corners of each of the rooms I saw, reminding me of all the notes that would come home during the years saying "They got to watch a video today!" way too much. Was that going to happen there too? One of the teachers from that program pointed out her "time out" area proudly. Most classrooms don't have a "time out" area. And when another family whose child was clearly typical, accidentally made their way into this classroom, they seemed almost mortified to find out from this teacher that it was "a classroom for children with Autism, but you might get to volunteer to come down and be with them and read to them when school starts!". The family quickly made their way out. My heart sank, and promises to myself were quickly made.

With tears in my eyes, I told myself, and later that night, my dear and supportive hubby, that Casey was not going into another AI program. He needed more. Casey would be in the Cross Categorical program at this new school, and he would start from the beginning of the year, and he would not transition from AI to Cross Cat. for part of the day, it would be all day! I told Bill he was not to let me change my mind on this sudden and hard and scary decision. He was all for it, and felt it was right too.

I quickly got in touch with my friend/advocate and told her of my plan. She was in full support and guaranteed me that we were going to make it happen, and that better yet, it would work, and that we would see that it did!

I was exhilerated with my new found courage and wherewithall, and scared out of my mind at the same time! What was I doing to this boy who was about to go to a giant, new middle school?! Second guessing myself became the norm........

to be continued......

I'm Sorry, Do You Ever Use Your Brain?"

2010-07-18T10:01:00.006-05:00

That's probably what a nurse or someone with considerable medical knowledge would ask me if they had to chance to see how I've handled Casey's being sick this weekend! I'm such a loser sometimes when it comes to this stuff.

The weekend started off with his acting tired when we went to a festival with our dear friends and their dear children Friday night. As we met and greeted them, we sat a at a table under a tent, discussing the eating and drinking situation, when I noticed Casey looking more than tired. Being accused of over analyzing, I made a slight mention of this, but everyone agreed, and this was the first sign of impending sickness coming our way. But (and this all goes back to the title of this post) we pushed on, and I got him a drink and a corn dog and we sat and socialized while he sat, slumped, sipping his drink and not eating his corn dog (don't worry, Mom ate it, couldn't let it go to waste!).

Then we strolled looking at the crap, I mean craft booths (sorry RK), and he followed along, slowly but surely. I've learned from past experience that the power of suggestion is very strong for Casey, so I kept quietly asking Bill if he looked okay to him. If I made mention to the boy himself if he was feeling well, he would try in this strongest voice to say something to the effect of "I'm not sick! I like the festival!". When we'd seen all we could he said he wanted to sit down. I asked him if he wanted to sit down in our car and go home. He quickly said "Yes!".

The night, all night, he had a fever. I laid with him most of the night, thinking puke might be in the future, trash can close at hand. He tossed and turned and moaned and was just completely uncomfortable. In the morning I had to run to Weight Watchers but promised him a bagel from Panera, 'cause that's what I would want after being sick with a fever all night. Somewhere around that time, I thought that maybe I should be giving him some Motrin, but then, I've heard people temper children's fevers too quick and they don't have time to work and kill whatever infection might be causing the fever. I heard that. So, I shunned the Motrin. You stay hot and miserable Casey, I'll be home with your delicious bagel later!

I went to WW with another dear friend who is a wealth of information a) because she has 3 boys of varying ages and b)she actually reads. Plus, she tends to errors on the side of caution. She began quizzing me on his symptoms, asking if I had looked at his throat. "What was his temp?" she asked. "I don't have a thermometer." I answered, embarrassed that a thermometer hadn't been in our house since we had one of those nifty ear ones when he was a baby, and which had broken several years ago. "I'll let you borrow mine." she offered sweetly, probably thinking "She has no thermometer? Geeze."

As the day progressed, and after giving Casey Motrin finally, he seemed much better. He had been looking forward to a Ronald McDonald Magic Show going on at a local McDonald's (of all places). I debated on whether I should take him. The smarter half of my brain said "don't" while the "oh, he's fine, and he needs to get out" side of my head said "do". My sister called in the midst of my decision making and she encouraged me to take him, because, he's spoiled and she didn't know the extent of his sickness. And so, we did..... I know, idiot. Oh, but it gets better.

He was actually fine at McDonald's, and he thoroughly enjoyed the show, and even participated with ol' Ronald. I then noticed that his hair was sweaty and his back clammy through his shirt. Wow, shouldn't that have been a sign that he shouldn't be out? The Motrin was stopping it's magic. We ate and ran after all was said and done. We got home, and he still seemed okay.

It was a lovely day out and he wanted to go swimming. Should I, I wondered again? Maybe the pool would help with his fever..... out in the 90 degree sun you big idiot! Well, so, my dumber side won again and off we went to the pool. Stopping at 7-11 for a Slurpee was the clincher.

As I was paying, the cashier looked behind me and said "Gosh buddy, I didn't know it was so cold in here!" to which I turned to see an uncontrollably shivering Casey. Was it the air conditioner in the store, or the Slurpee? Or the fact that he was sick????????

We got in the car, and he's still shivering despite the rise in temperature coming out the door. Get this one folks! I continued to drive on to the pool! Yes I did! So we got there, and by then, his hand is shaking with the Slurpee in it,he's shivering so hard. But he's still imploring me to go swimming!

Finally, yes, finally, that common sense that seemed to be eluding me ALL day, popped in (especially after I called my smart friend and told her how stupid I had been and she sort of agreed kindly) and we went home.

Well, he fell asleep under two comforters after I gave him more Motrin. Guess he wasn't feeling well! Duh......

He had a great rest of the evening, and we did too, even though we canceled plans to go out to a concert. We were good parents that way!

This morning, he woke feverish again, and threw up. And now, he seems fine again. But guess what, I'm not taking him anywhere. Not one place! He's staying in the house the rest of the day, even if he's doing somersaults and reciting Shakespeare! Pretty smart huh? Good parenting huh? 'Bout time!

But in all fairness to me, although the boy is very verbal, he still has problems telling me how he feels, and that is further perpetuated by the fact that he is in denial when he is sick. He will fight till the end, he hates being sick. He could have his finger cut off (God forbid ) and he wouldn't let me take him to the hospital. I was trying to follow his cues instead of his symptoms, which was dumb, but, it's not the first time. Hopefully, it will be the last

Shameless Self Promotion, and the Only Time it Will Happen!

2010-07-13T18:25:00.008-05:00

Okay, I know this blog is centered all around my darling boy, I know this. But, since it is my blog, I feel that I can use this forum to shamelessly inform my multitudes of readers who don't experience my obnoxious self promotion on Facebook, that, I now own my own business. Drumroll please... I am a Independent Team Beachbody coach!

So what does this mean?

I represent Beachbody, a company that makes health and fitness products! Perhaps you've seen infomercials for P90X, or read here about the joy of Turbo Jam. That's where my real interest in the products started! I love Turbo Jam, and it has really changed my body.

Then, they came out with a new product, Shakeology and that one sent me over the edge. It's a fabulous product. It's a nutrition shake that you can replace a meal with or just drink after a workout or before. It's amazing and it's given me so much energy. I fell for the stuff, and wanted to get others to try it, and thus, my new business began. Here's me talking about it in case you wanna know why I love it. You can also go to www.myshakeology.com/esuite/home/boncasey and learn all about the product from the experts!

Sorry that's so huge.

So anyway, that's it in a nutshell. I would love for you to come to my site and check out all the great products. SIgn up for the free membership, and I'll become your coach and you can peruse the site and get free recipes and health info. It's a great site. You can even have your own own calendar where you can track your workouts! Just go towww.turbobonbon.com and check it out!!!! If you have any questions about the products or workouts feel free to leave it here in the comments section or hit the contact button on www.turbobonbon.com. So far, I've done Turbo Jam and Chalene Extreme and am planning on starting Turbo Fire, the latest and greatest at www.turbobonbon.com

Oh, and by the way, I've lost 40 lbs with these work outs, which you can find at www.turbobonbon.com

Okay, that's it, I'm done! Back to Casey......

White Castles. . . What Memories are Made Of

2010-07-12T20:49:00.002-05:00

As we passed a White Castle the other day, an interesting conversation ensued:

Casey: We haven't had White Castles for awhile!
Me: No we haven't.
Casey: Not since 2008.
Me: Oh, we've had them since then, I think we've had them in the last 6 months or so!
Casey: Yeah, but remember when we had them in March 2008?

I started brainstorming, trying to figure out why he mentioned this date. Then I recalled a night when we were bowling with the family in Indiana, and afterwards, Casey, Uncle Tom, Aunt Sue, Cousin Logan and I got a "Crave Case" from White Castle. It contains what seemed like 50 of the little devils, and we went back to their house and ate way too much. Casey, as I recalled thought it was a hoot! Wanting to test his memory further the conversation went on.....

Me: Yeah, we had them after we went.. oh, what did we do that night?
Casey: We went bowling in Indiana!
Me: Oh that's right, and it was in March huh?
Casey: Yes, March 22nd, 2008!

I grabbed my cell phone and delved into the calendar, going back to 2008, March 22nd to be exact. And it was a Saturday. And I'm pretty sure it was the day we went. I'd bet a White Castle on it.

Summertime and the Livin' is Easy...

2010-07-11T10:29:00.006-05:00

well, for Casey anyway. He's begun his third year at Camp Able, a camp for kids with "disabilities" (hate that term). So far, the three weeks have been quite good, with just a small setback the first week that I attribute to not quite being acclimated yet.

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, they go on field trips, based on the theme of the week (this upcoming week's being "Party Palooza"). On Tuesdays and Thursdays, they stay at the camp home base, go to a local park for activiites, and the local indoor pool. The home base for camp is a charming old school house, nestled in the center of a small town area. The counselors are all college students, mostly girls (which Casey loves), and most are majoring in Special ed, or something along those lines. It's a great set-up.

Case has been really "into it" this year, checking the schedule the camp provided, and discussing the next days events. He particularly likes to talk about who is going to be with each counselor at the various activities, information that is provided on the chalk board each morning, so the kids know who they will stay with on the field trips or at the pool. It changes from day to day, and Casey runs up to the board right away when we get there and announces the line up. I have to appreciate that on days they might be going to a busier than usual venue, he usually has a one on one. I love that they are so aware of his propencity for walking away if something catches his eye, and how one on one attention is quite necessary sometimes.

I love camp because I can drop him off each day and know that a) he will be away from the computer for hours b)he's around a lot other kids, whose names he mentions at home, a good sign of a little bonding and c) he's having fun being part of a group. Plus, he's going to so many places that I would probably either not take him to, or have the chance to do so!

I have to draw the line at the Trout Farm field trip though, didn't sign him up for that one. Although he went last year, and he brought home a trout that I apparantly was supposed to cook, I can't see him doing it again. But who knows, the summer is going so well, he might force me to sign him up... then I guess it wouldn't be so bad!

Gotta BLOG!

2010-02-12T07:35:00.004-06:00

The span of time that has passed since my last post makes me think maybe I'm just not a blogger! Geeze Louise!

I was speaking to my dear friend's hubby yesterday, when, rather sarcastically I think, he asked how "Let it be Autism" was going. I just laughed it off, as I usually am laughing the whole time I talk to this guy anyway and said I just didn't have anything significant to write about. That's a great attitude to have when one has a blog!

Now, that's not to say Casey's day to day life as an individual with Autism doesn't contain significant happenings to blog about. I could write just about everyday something he said that was cute, the issues at school, something cool he hasn't done before, etc. But, my sink over flows with dishes, I need to work out, I need to get him off the computer, I need to have a half hour with my husband here and there, and then we all go to sleep. And all the thoughts and reflections I have for the door go down the proverbial toilet, another blog entry and day swept away.

I read so many good blogs, and they are so up to date and recent, and well written, with little blue highlighted references to other up to date blog entries and other places of interest. How do people do it? I know some people who are at a desk anyway working have the distinct advantage of being in front of a computer most of their work day, and blogging I'm certain is a nice break for them. Heck, some people make their living blogging! I can't imagine the dynamics of doing this. It seems like a luxury in some ways, and a giant headache in others.

Blogging for me has been theraputic, and an outlet for my inner writer (at least in my head, I'm a writer). But, it can also be a bit of a challenge for me as well. I wanna write about Casey, but I don't want to be of only interest to my family and friends. I don't want to be preachy, but then, I'm pretty well known for getting on my soap box about 5 times a day. I don't want to be opinionated, here, at least, because honestly, I don't have the energy or attention span to pay enough attention to the issues to feel comfortable enough to pontificate on how I feel about them here. So, what's my hook?

Which leads me back to my conversation with my friend's husband, let's call him "Don". When I remarked that I didn't have much to blog about, he brought up the whole controversy on Aspergers now being put into the Autism Spectrum, and what I thought about it. At the time, we were talking, I was doing the dishes so there's two things I was doing, talking and dishwashing, and no big thoughts came to my head on the subject, so I acted like a rebel and said "I don't know, I don't really care!". He laughed me off as he is so wont to do, not because I'm funny I'm sure, but just silly. But how stupid that I didn't have an opinion! It all goes back to the fact that I thoroughly haven't researched the story, haven't taken the time. Maybe if I had, I could have blogged about it.

So, having said all this, I have to wonder, what is the point of this particular blog entry, but to bitch about how I don't blog, to confirm I have a self induced lack of knowledge, and to pretty much have decided "Don" probably thinks I'm dumb.

What the hell can I do to get 80,000 readers, sponsors, money? I guess blogging more than once a month might be a start.

And oh, you professional writers out there, any suggestions would be appreciated, or you could just tell me to throw in the hat! But then, where would you come to fulfill your need to find errors and bad grammar?

The First Official Post of 2010

2010-01-22T04:55:00.005-06:00

I awoke at 5am, the sound of a locked out cat scratching furiously at the door and had that satisfying and yet, not feeling that I was done sleeping, at 5 am.

Casey didn't wake me up in the middle of the night last night and sleeping in my and Bill's bed all night without a sharp 11 year old elbow pushing into my head must have given me the rest I needed. I actually blocked his door as well so that afore mentioned feline couldn't get in his room either.

I suspected this was the case, and maybe why he was waking up every night and coming to get me, half feigning fear of some unknown goolies in his room. I think it was actually a small, furry goolie named Ricky coming in licking Casey's head, perhaps nibbling on any bare flesh he could sink his sharp little teeth into, and knocking over various stacks of VHS tapes available to knock over, that was the actual fear.

So, what else is there to do at 5am than to hop on the computer? I of course checked email, only to find way too many emails from a nice enough lady that got me involved in the health and household cleaners company I buy from, touting the products themselves and trying to lure me into the pyramid like selling system they have. I keep telling her I am one of her best customers but will never "sell" the products for them, I do enough of that crap with my real job. And anyway, anytime anyone wants one of their products, I just order it for them under my "Preferred Customer" status and get the money later.

Then I check Facebook of course, and lo and behold, there is nothing on there different from last night at 10:30 pm when I had last checked it. I fed my virtual fish in Fishville and got some more, cleaned some friends tanks, visited some pages of other people, looked at their photos, realized I was completely bored, and then noted one of my FB friends had a new blog entry.

This of course reminded me how long it's been since I've added to this body of work. I think my last entry was about Casey getting "suspended" for using lewd language. That seems an eternity ago, December 18th.

The holidays came and went, Casey spending a week of his break with the Aunties in Indy, having a break from us, we from him. He even was there over New Years. I believe that might have been the first New Years Eve we didn't celebrate with him since he was born. It was weird, but it was fun to have that little bit of freedom to party like adults to some extent. We really didn't take advantage of the situation as much as we could have but had a nice evening non the less, all the while, I missed having Case here.

And so, the new year has indeed started, and so has school with no big suspensions or arrests to report. It's such a strange time of year. Although it's all fresh so to speak, and I guess "new", life feels a bit stale.

I suppose it's the weather that mostly makes me feel this way. We try to get Casey active just about everyday, whether it's working out with Dad, or swimming with me. But even that gets stale. Yes, I'm using that word again.

The routine of having to bundle up, walking through the cold, overcrowded parking lot and walking into a gym filled with "fair weather" fitness enthusiasts who crowd our beloved Rec Center simply because they made a New Year's resolution to get in shape troubles me to no end. Sometimes taking the easy road and staying in the warm house watching TV sounds much better, but then, Case, and we, need our excercise.

Just bundling up all together everytime you go out here in Michigan gets me down. I could literally stay in from mid November to around April, and even then, not so much. I find that the older I get the worse the cold weather brings me down, and not even the beauty of a newly fallen snow gives that little twinge of excitement any more, unless it means a snow day and an excuse for me to take personal time to stay home with Case.

Thankfully, Casey has awoken and so I must end this uneventful and dare I say whiney first entry of 2010. I swear my entries will bet better. I'd call that a resolution, but then I'd jinx myself and not write till June. Probably not even then, because I would be outside, in the warmth and beauty of summer, not caring about being on the computer.....

Geeze, I gotta go make my morning coffee.......

Ugh......

2009-12-20T14:34:00.003-06:00

Well, Casey's Christmas vacation started off early and with a bang! But not a good bang.

Friday was his last day of school, and as anyone can recall, the Friday before Christmas is usually fun and not overly productive. Casey was looking forward to watching a Christmas video at the end of school with several classes. I'm sure snacks were to be involved. I was looking forward to shopping and spending as little time working as I possibly get by with, which is what I was doing when my phone rang.

It was school. I was hoping it was just his teacher calling to thank me for the gift I sent in. But the tone of her voice while greeting me made me ask "What happened?".

She proceeded to tell me how when he came into class that morning, one of the parapros told him to do something and he said something that sounds like "Pluck my Venus!". Yeah, it's what you're thinking! Yeah, that's bad.

I gasped, feigned shock, and just went back quickly in mind, trying to recall where the hell he had heard that line! Dad doesn't walk around saying it, out loud, and we are pretty cautious about what we watch on TV in front of him, and most things we watch wouldn't have that line in it! Only once place.... Internet.

His teacher then asks me what other things I think would be a good punishment. I told her I often tell him that he better watch his mouth at school because if he doesn't he'll have to go to the principle's office (a lot of good that did). I told her maybe a visit there might help. She agreed, but went on to say that she felt this sort of behavior should be punished at home as well. I agreed.

I went on to say, not taking any of the blame from him, I would also like them to find out what is causing him to act this way when he comes in. He has had a few incidences in the morning but nothing this bad. But there is something causing him to be, well, belligerent in the morning, and you would have thought they might have tried to figure this out themselves. She said they would research it after the holidays.

In the meantime, she let me know that I should do something at home to punish him as well. Thanks for the suggestion... pfffff. Usually, I sorta feel like what happens in school should be punished at school. I guess she was right, but boy, getting all your fun taken away on the last day before vacation sure seems punishment enough to me, considering they hadn't really tried to help the initial problem with mornings to begin with.

So, I said something about taking computer away for the day when he got home. I could feel her waiting on the end of the line, and I felt pressured to say "or the weekend!?". She felt that was sufficient. Okay.

About 20 minutes later, she called again. She told me they had taken him to the office, much to his chagrin, and that when the principle found out about all that happened decided he would have a half day in-school suspension, and then was to be picked up and taken home!

Wait a minute! Wait one darn minute! I meant for the whole Principal dealie to be sort of a "scared straight" scenario!!!!! I didn't mean for it to be a life altering experience that would leave a stain on his record! Geeze o' peete! She said I needed to come get him after his suspension.

A bit exasperated at this point and not feeling like getting into a big "thing" on this day, I asked "What time?".

His Dad and I decided we would take computer away, at least Friday and Saturday and keep things low key, not a lot of outings, but a lot of talk about why he lost his favorite privilege in the whole world.

This story could go on and on, but to shorten an already long post, I'll finish up by saying, I got him, he seemed ashamed. He cried when he found out he lost his computer. Friday was rough, Saturday was better after some visuals were provided explaining why and what for. And quite honestly, it was pleasant to have his full attention and watch him do some things that he doesn't usually pursue, ie Wii and a few toys.

I know his saying such an offensive and sexual line was bad. I know that. Coming from the perspective that I don't want him to get suspended again, fired from a job, or worse yet, arrested someday, for saying such offensive stuff, I realize this is something that we need to get him to know he just can't do. But at the same time, I kinda feel like this could have been better handled in school. I think that if he had stayed, and had to sit in the "team" room during the festivities, knowing he was missing them, he would have realized that what he had done was so wrong! I think that would have worked much better than coming home and laying around all afternoon in his comfy room.

So in the grand scheme of things, such occurrences may take a village to resolve, but somehow, this side of the village seemed to get the brunt of that job!

Credit Cards.... So Easy, Even Autistic Kids Can Use 'Em!

2009-12-16T16:41:00.003-06:00

So, I'm talking to my sister today about how Casey wants a subscription to an online gaming site. It's 25.95 for 3 months. A perfect gift I decided, from his grandparents, who give us money each year to get him something because he is so very hard to buy for.

More discussion ensues, when suddenly Casey comes up behind me and says "It's confirmed!"

"What's confirmed Bud?" I ask innocently.

"My subscription has been confirmed." he replies innocently.

"Hold on Cheryl!" I say laying the phone down, a feeling of panic taking over.

I run into the kitchen to look at the laptop, Casey padding behind me.

On the screen I read "Your Nick Jr. Boost Subscription has been confirmed."

Quickly, I try to page back, only to find that he filled out all the info needed to send the subscription as a gift perfectly, making the recipient and the sender himself, but otherwise, perfectly. Still panicking, I couldn't see anywhere that he put in credit card info.

"Casey," I called calmly, "what number did you use to confirm your subscription?".

"From the card."

"What card?"

"Dat one." he replies, not pointing, not helpful.

"Which one?"

"The Mastercard."

"Did you have the number memorized Case?" I ask, still not seeing a card.

"No, the Citibank Card." his cadence taking on that of Dustin Hoffman's Rainman.

Suddenly, I notice my credit card laying off to the side of the computer, as if lightly flung after it's use was rendered. My eyes shoot over to my wallet laying open, the spot where that card calls home glaringly empty. The perfect crime scene.

I grab the phone, almost forgetting that Cheryl was waiting there, listening to the whole thing.

"Did you hear that?" I ask her.

"I believe a social story is in order!" she says with official Occupational Therapist confidence (because she is).

"Yeah..." I answer, still amazed that he was able to put in enough information from my card to confirm his subscription.

Yeah, a social story is in order, and a lock box for our credit cards!

Oh my, the possibilities!

Splish Splash Casey's Takin' a Bath.... in the Morn, and it's Good!

2009-12-15T07:26:00.005-06:00

A marvelous thing has occurred at our house on school mornings! It has become pleasant! Yes, pleasant! No more screaming, no more having to tell him 45 times to come and eat. No more boy sitting and kicking the wall under the breakfast bar singing not so sweetly "Little little assholes!"....ahhhh, yes, more pleasant.

It all started one morning after being completely exhausted the night before, and not having the drive to mess with a whole shower thing. I decided a shower for Casey in the morning wouldn't be the end of the world (although the thought of the days bodily grossness on his sheets was on my mind). And so, that morning, I told him to get in the shower after a nights rest and strength had been restored. He asked if he could take a bath and since I was still fiddling around with my morning primping, I said okay. He burst into the bathroom, took off his jammies and hopped in before the tub was full. The rest of the morning went smoothly. And I didn't connect anything, thinking it was just one of those rare and lucky days that everything wasn't a big clusterf^&*.

So, the next morning, despite a shower the night before (still thinking about the days grime, despite that mornings bathing), he actually requested another bath. Finding it odd, I allowed for it, and again, a pleasant morning ensued.

This pleasantness isn't just quiet, this is beyond that. I can actually get the boy out of bed with the sound of the bath water running and a silly song about Prince Casey's bath being drawn. He leaps out of bed, strips and sits calmly in the tub for a good 20 minutes. This is awesome, because before, getting him up was quite a challenge, with a lot of threats and cussing on both our parts.

Oddly, this bath routine has now blossomed into a whole routine, and one that needs no prompting. He gets out, dresses himself (something I was helping him way too much with pre morning bath because we were usually running late), and then he makes his way to the kitchen to nibble on some breakfast. Again, NO PROMPTING! This is huge! On top of all that, his teacher has mentioned he has had excellent days, and getting him to get ready for the bus and transitioning is no big deal anymore.

Why and how does a simple bath realign the planets and make pigs fly? Why did it take so frickin long for this to happen? Why, when I take showers every morning, had it not occurred to me that this might be good for Casey as well? Who the hell knows... trial and error, trial and error.

Whatever, it's workin' now, clean sheets be damned!

Viva La Dora!

2009-12-10T07:38:00.004-06:00

I know, Dora the Explorer? Am I really going to blog about Dora the Explorer, that annoying little Nick Jr. gal with the nasal voice, who asks way too many questions, has a much bigger head than all the other characters, and has a best friend as a monkey? As a matter of fact, I am.

Lately, Casey has taken a real shine to Nick Jr., formerly the Noggin channel (don't even get him started on the name change, that's a whole other entry). He actually sits and watches and pays attention to the shows they have on, despite the fact that they are made for preschoolers.

Dora, being one of those shows, was one that he has watched on and off over the years. But lately, I've noted a whole new awareness on his part as to what Dora is really all about. It's a very participatory children's program, with Dora and the other characters stating facts and then asking about them later, requiring the viewer to, in each episode, remember what landmarks Dora has to go to in her adventures, where items are on the screen, etc.

I have caught him several times answering Dora's questions, and doing so correctly, or I'll here him go "There it is!". Casey's participating! He's making conversation, albeit seemingly one sided (not in his head I'm guessin'). He's thinking, he using his rationalization skills, comprehension skills.... all the cool stuff! Heck, he's even pointing at things on the screen from time to time. I would have given my left arm to see that oh so many years ago when he was supposed to be pointing!

Would I've liked to have seen such participation eight years ago, when he was just a little tot, and it was more socially appropriate for him to be watching and reacting to Dora? Of course! But, as anyone who has a kid in their life with Autism knows, milestones form a completely uneven path in our world, but they come, scattered here and there.

And personally, I am proud to be there whenever he gets to one of those milestones, no matter how long they take or however far apart they are!

A "Flash" of Self Control

2009-12-09T07:22:00.005-06:00

So many things have occurred since my entry of October 28Th. The very thought of trying to share so much stuff makes my brain hurt, seriously. In the interest of keeping my mind in tact for my upcoming meeting with my boss today, I think I'll focus simply on one new phenomenon that reared it's ugly head in the past couple of months.

I've been inspired by Kristina Chew's account of her son's encounters with dogs and his wonderful way of dealing with creatures who have struck fear in his heart for sometime. In our case, Casey's "dog" is a camera flash. Camera flashes now cause a total freak out reaction for Case.

I theorize that it all started during a recent photo session at school for class pictures. Apparently, instead of his little class having their time with the photographer alone, they were grouped with a hoard of other students getting their photos taken in a assembly line fashion, flashes going off every few seconds. The noise, the chaos, and the flashes really made it's impression on Casey. I guess when he couldn't take it any longer, he shouted "This is crap on a plate!" and ran out of the room and down the hall. Later on that day, he actually told his teacher he was ready to get his picture taken, and he did well. But since then, flashes have been a major ish for Casey.

And oddly, it seems with this new issue, comes more people taking pictures wherever we seem to be. Or maybe, we are now more aware of people taking pictures, especially whenever a flash goes off and he screeches and if able, tries to take the camera from the photographer at hand! He even reacted to the camera flashes in the stadium at the World Series on television! Much screaming of "Turn off the TV!" commenced during the games.

Recently we were at a restaurant where the seating was close, the area small, and everyone around us seemed to be taking photos of each other. And with the bad lighting, the flashes more extreme. Each time, Casey would screech "oh no!" each time, and his voice is no longer soft let's say. It was getting ridiculous really (along with the irritation of trying to find a damn outlet to plug in his stupid DVD player whose battery wasn't charged like I thought), so, I got into my WWCD mode (What would Cheryl do, my Occupational Therapist sister, who always seems to have a good idea on how to deal with situations) and dug through our goody bag. I found a pair of 3-D glasses used earlier at the movie theater and told him to put them on and it would protect his eyes.

Along with this I also told him, not in no many words, to be proactive and watch the people who have been taking photos, and when you see them raise their camera, look away. Do what he had to do, pretty cut and dry.

And it worked, he was really watching out for himself, burying his head in my arm before a flash went off, and was quiet and it was nice. He was self empowered, and it made me think how this issue of self empowerment will be so, well, powerful, as he grows up and more of these eccentric, if you will, behaviors come up.

Having said all this, Dad on the other hand, really knew nothing of his new empowerment. It didn't really come up as he wasn't with us that night. And so, who knew that some irritating parent would be snapping photos at a recent Dad and son event at school last Friday night. Casey's new skills didn't carry over and he was very upset. Bill tried to explain to the parent about Casey's aversion, but she was still around taking photos of other kids and it still bothered him.

Lesson learned, assume there is going to be cameras where ever we go, carry the magic 3D glasses, and Mom and Dad need to get in sync on how to help Casey empower himself, and never assume he can necessarily do it on his own....yet!

Seriously, is this all there is to it?

2009-10-28T14:02:00.002-05:00

I was tired when shower time started at around 10pm last night (yeah, I still help him, I'm an enabler, whatever). I was tired, he didn't want to leave the TV to take a shower. Bad combo.

And this conversation ensued after helping him pull off his duds and stepping into the shower....

Casey: singing "Oh yeah, thats the one, my asshole!"

Me: silence

Casey: singing again "Oh yeah, that's the one, my asshole!"

Me: still silence, helping him wash.

Casey: staring me right in the eyes "I don't get computer tomorrow?"

Me: silently looking at him

Casey: "I don't get computer tomorrow because I said a bad word!?"

Me: a silent shrug, still making sure everything was touched by soap and water.

Casey: "Say something Mommy, say some words!"he said nervously.

Me: "What do you want me to say?"

After that, total silence from him, and total cooperation.

Seriously, is that all there is to it? All I have to do is not respond to diarreha of the mouth and it will stop? Really?.... Wish I would have known this for the last several months, especially when I thought my throat was going raw from repeating the same admonishments every time he cussed.

Geeze..... More to follow.

Don't Need to Get this Guy His Own Cell!

2009-10-23T12:42:00.002-05:00

Sure, he looks friendly enough, but I made an amazing discovery about my little boy last night that really should have been apparent all along but never really occured to me until the situation arose!

Here it is: Casey does not know how to talk on the phone to a peer and also has no desire to do so, despite the particular peer being someone he really likes!

So there it is. I don't know why I was surprised by this....

A little background and I am not going to stream through my blog to see if I had ever blogged about this 'cause you probably wouldn't remember reading it anyway, but in 4th grade Casey made a friend. His name was Jason, and they really bonded. Jason was in regular ed, but they hung out on the playground together from all accounts. He caught Casey's fancy by indulging him in commercial talk, and particularly, Geico Insurance commerical talk which was of hight interest to Case at the time.

This boy was like a ghost to me, I never met him, I couldn't find his name in the student directory. He, aluded me. Then the last day of school, while talking to another mom, I noted Casey standing and talking to this dude, and Casey literally followed the kids mom's car (not after I caught him of course) out of the parking lot. I saw the back of the kids head and that was it! So weird.

Jason goes to the same school now as Case, but it's large with many 5th and 6th grade classrooms. Casey still spoke of Jason, and I heard about him being on the playground once again with him last year. This year, not so much Jason talk although every once in awhile a commercial for the Jason G. doll is spewed out by Casey. Don't ask me where to get one, I can't find one myself!

I check my phone for messages last night after being in a store, and lo and behold, there is one. When I take a listen, it's a little boys voice asking if he could talk to Casey and how he wants to ask him about 4th grade for his homework, and maybe they could talk about Geico a little. It was Jason!!!!! Cute message, very exciting, no number was left to return his call, and no number was in my phone that he called from! Again, so weird.

I told Casey he called and let him hear his message. Casey let out one of his patronizing "Yays" that he does when he knows I'm excited and that he should be but isn't really.

Jason finally called back and wanted to ask Casey a question about what they used to talk about on the playground because he was doing a report on Casey! How sweet is that?

By this time, Casey was shoveling KFC chicken strips in his mouth and watching a Youtube video (I am such a good mom) and had absolutely no interest in speaking to Jason, so I asked him to call back in a little while.

He did. Again Casey showed no interest in speaking with him. I forced him to answer his questions a little but when it seemed some expletives were beginning to ooze from this frustrated boy, I quickly ended the conversation.

I was bummed. Casey doesn't have anyone call him, let alone someone he really likes friendwise. I was surprised at his lack of interest and irritation at talking. My sister, the OT, the treasure trove of knowledge, sweetly reminded me, as I recalled the evening to her, of his lack of social reciprocity, social awareness, blah blah blah and stuff and how not unusual it was that he wouldn't want to talk on the phone, let alone in person. I know all that, I just thought, maybe......

One good thing that came out of it, Jason's number did show up that last call, and I got it, and, and.... I don't know what I'm doing with it, but, I got it!

Work Outs and Togetherness

2009-10-17T14:02:00.004-05:00

For the last several months, my dear hubby Bill has been taking Casey to work out at our local rec center. As you know, we've had concerns about Casey's weight, so it's only fitting that he does this.

They have quite a routine worked out, consisting of several walking laps around the indoor track, 22 minutes (to be exact) on the Eliptical machine (by far, Casey's least favorite part of the work out), and 4 running (jogging) laps to finish thing off. It's quite a regimen!

At the beginning, I always let them go alone, allowing me some alone time which is always welcomed, but better yet, some bonding time for them. I fear sometimes that they are so similar in so many ways seen and unseen, that they tend to clash occasionally, so it's always good for them to be together without me prodding in. But after my crazy thought of accompanying them on an occasion, it's almost always expected. Bill likes for me to go just for the "company" aspect since Casey isn't very chatty, and Casey likes for me to go because I think he believes I'll get him out of activities he doesn't like, but I don't. So, my alone time, has been cut....

Today we went, despite a rough morning for me after having several glasses of wine last night with friends. It was a good idea at the time. The rec center wasn't very crowded and we pretty much had the track to ourselves.

Bill and I conversed while following Casey, whose pace tends to speed up as we go. He was chatting away to the wind about a new video coming out, "A Daddy Christmas" on Oct. 24th, starring his Daddy and Casey.

We quietly joked about some of our fellow worker outers on the machines below the track, reminised about the gathering last night where I drank too much wine and how nice it was to see our friends who we hadn't seen for a while.

Bill and Casey did their running laps while I read a magazine on the stationary bike, and then together we did the eliptical, counting down the minutes till we were done.

Casey always chooses the elevator to get down to the first floor of the facility to leave, rather than the grand staircase we use at first to get up to the second floor, enough working out for sure! He doesn't grab my arm anymore like he used to on elevators, but rather, stands like he's been riding them for years without a problem.

Casey informs me that he and I both get 116 "smiley faces" for our efforts today, and Daddy only gets 1. We're not sure why but have a laugh about it. And back home we go for lunch and some luxuriating in the freedom of Saturday.

I'm starting to think not having that alone time isn't so bad.....

"Bus"tration

2009-10-15T14:20:00.004-05:00

Hormones are a' ragin' here at our house as of late, and other places too. At least, that is what I'd like to think.

Case in point, got a call from Casey's lovely teacher yesterday morning. When I see the school number on caller ID I'm always ready to hear that either he puked, hit someone, or cussed enough to get him thrown out of school. Happy news comes in the form of emails, never calls to the cell.

So, with a much regret I answered. She had that tone to her voice straight away that really just made me want to hang up and run. As we got through the standard greetings, she asked "Did Casey have a rough morning?". I had to think back an hour or so, and recalled that, no, he had actually had a pretty smooth morning, with laughter and good vibes all around!

"Well," she continued, "reports came from the other students on the bus that he swore, and when he arrived at school he said several curse words and laid down in the hall!".

Scratching my head, I thought to myself "Damn, the kid gets on the bus and is at school in a matter of 5 minutes if that. What the hell?".

We continued to discuss this issue, both of us as usual assuming it was someone or something giving rise to such a tantrum and not a random act of belligerence. He usually isn't random about such behaviors, and in fact, I contend many kids on the spectrum verbal or non, have reasons for such episodes.

Anyway, I requested what she had already considered, that they do some investigative work to find out what happened, what triggered him.

After interrogating some children, info surfaced that the bus driver had pulled away that morning before Casey could properly fasten his seatbelt, frustrating him to the point of cursing, and even having the kids help him get it on didn't make things better. This carried over into his arrival there, it's hard for him to let things go quickly. So, there it was, the reason. It may seem like a silly reason, or not serious enough to justify an out burst like that, but it mattered to him.

It mattered to him, and it bothered him, and I contend that his current biological state is not helping him handle things well sometimes. HORMONES! That has to be it. I swear, when the kid wakes up and seems an inch taller every week how can anyone argue?

Is there a pill for hormone control? I know they give therapies to us gals going into our middle age years, why not for kids on the spectrum who don't have the wherewithall to handle the feelings that engulf and enrage them? I need to call Dr. Oz or somebody....

Anyway, prepared today to get on the bus behind him and insure his belt was fastened before he took off to avoid yet another episode, I was pleasantly surprised. As he stepped on, I heard several children say his name in a happy manner, and one girl imparticular spoke to him as he passed her saying "Casey, sit by me!". He plopped down and she immediately helped him with his seatbelt, and he was all smiles. I stepped off the bus, smiling myself.

Hhhhmmm, just like a baby who cries to get attention because he needs something, Casey's outburst could certainly fall in the same vein. He got what he needed apparently, some direction and help. We just need to teach him he can get that without using the "f" word!

I Take it Back... A Little......

2009-10-07T04:49:00.007-05:00

Quite a while back I went on a rant about how much I hated Youtube because we felt it was probably the leading expletive inducer for Casey next to our own potty mouths. Plus, it's just disturbing how a child can put in a search for "Blue Clues" video snippits and they could suddenly be seeing "Blue Balls" video snippits..... Just really inapropriate.

Anyhoot, he still plays Youtube sometimes, but never without my ever listening ears and watchful gaze in the vicinity. He does pretty well censoring what he sees, with only the occasional cuss word blasting over the airways, quickly cut off by a giggling boy.

He has his own account that I allow him to put videos on, mostly for his own entertainment but to share with family and friends as well so it's public. If you are unfamiliar with Youtube, let me explain that there is a forum after each video posted that allows viewers to comment on the video they have just watched. We have recieved, of course, snotty, obnoxious, and rude comments as you can well imagine because it seems there are a group of people out there who watch boring little videos made by children and then rake them over the coals. An admirable way to spend your time right!? But, we just delete the nasty comments and move on.

I have read comments of some of the videos Casey watches, not his own, and people write horrible things sometimes, just about say, a Wiggles Video. I beg him not to read the comments, afraid of what he'll pick up even there.

So, this morning, while checking email, I noted that we recieved 2 emails from Youtube, and I almost didn't read them. I don't know if it's how we have our account set up or what but when someone comments on one of Casey's videos, they get sent to our email.

Thinking that they might be nice comments I could show Casey, I opened the first and it read....

SBloxLines has replied to your comment on Oobi DVR challenge:
They still play it, If you have DISH It's on 169 at 12:00 and 12:30 (PM) Sometimes 5:00 AM Also.
You can reply back by visiting the comments page.

"Replied back?" I almost said out loud. That would mean that someone in our house had commented on someone else's video. Bill would never comment on an Oobi video, it's a kid thing, no interest, and well, I just don't care. So I clicked on this video of SBloxLines and skimmed down the commments section, suddenly eyeing one from our account, named Billboncasey, that read:

what happen to noggin?

Casey had taken it upon himself to comment. A little background, this Oobi was a show on a network for kids named "Noggin" and they dropped "Noggin" and call it Nick Jr. now, much, much, much to Casey's dismay. He has been asking me about this for a couple of days, why it changed, why it isn't Noggin anymore, and now, he was seeking out info on Youtube! So cute. And this fellow nerd, SBloxLines, replied to tell him where he could still find Noggin being broadcast! Too funny!

The next email was from the same person and again was a reply to a comment, made by Casey himself...

SSBloxLines has replied to your comment on Oobi Short Program Promo (Commercial) for Babies and Toddlers:
And PBS Kids. (Noggin = 169 DISH | PBS Kids = 13 DISH
You can reply back by visiting the comments page.

Yet another reference to where he could find this Noggin channel still. Being nosey once again, I went back to this person's other video Casey clearly watched and skimmed the comments only to find....

1999-2000 the good old days of noggin huh?

Casey wrote that comment! Casey referenced the year it was from and typed out a nostalgic thought he had on it! I was floored. I know this was a long post to get to this but really, finding out he commented in this fashion, and that he commented at all made me almost cry, it really did.

I hope this post made sense, and I hope you understand why I posted about it, Yet another one of those instances where even the smallest cool thing seems huge in your head, especially when you are dealing with challenges day in and day out. That just made my day.......

Man Boobs Won't Stop Us!

2009-09-14T06:29:00.014-05:00

Well, in our case, boy boobs! Yes, Casey is currently dealing with a phenomenon some pubescent boys experience, boy boobs. It's odd, my little boy, who was always skinny, skinny, skinny, has in the last year and half developed quite a belly, and well, boy boobs. We're all a little concerned, but I've read up online of course, the ultimate source of knowledge, and found that it is quite typical among preteen boys.

I also came upon some info on tea tree oil and lavendar oil and it's use in various products and how those can also cause this breast growth in young boys. I've been using such items regularly since November on Casey, but I found photos of him from last summer, and the boobs were there then, just less severe, so that theory sorta went up in smoke!

So, now, while waiting to see if this irradication of all things tea tree oil and lavenderish will qualm the boobage, we still have to endure the stares and glares from those at the pool who are just too ignorant not to stare and glare. It's not enough that this awkwardly tall boy who starts stimming the minute he steps into the pool area can't help his stims, but add on those 34 B's, and well, he's quite a sight!

I know what people are thinking... "How did she let that happen to that boy?" and "She should reallly cover him up!" etc. I don't know how it happened, I still contend it's puberty and the accordion theory will go into effect soon and he'll grow 5 inches and everything will stretch. I truly didn't plan on my kid having boobs, it's not my fault! Wahhhhhh!

We were going around the lazy river and two little kids literally swam in front of us to get a better look at him and the one said to the other "He's got BOOBS!".... Being the mother Tiger that I am, I quickly rushed to his defense, he being oblivious.

"What did you say?" I growled.

"She said it!" the one kid said.

"He can't help it!" I snapped "and you're rude!".

The kids paddled against the tide of the lazy river as fast as they could, and I'm pretty sure they were, well, frightened of me, and I really couldn't care less, little shits. I was hoping they would go "tell on me" to their mommy and she would come over to "talk" but no one ever showed up. Perhaps I scared them a little too much. Perhaps they knew they did something wrong, and didn't want to tell their mom. Perhaps.

Anyhoot, acting as a human shield and urging Casey to swim so his bod was mostly underwater the rest of our outing, I thought to myself "Well, this is great, his stimming is bad enough, but now, should I even put him through being scrutinized about his boy boobs? Should we not come swim anymore until they disappear? That could be years! Should I buy him a a man bra of some sort? What to do?".

I finally did an internal calm down and came to my senses and decided SCREW IT! Boy boobs are not going to stop us from coming and doing something that Casey loves to do. Boy boobs will not run our lives! Boy boobs are no match for our seeking out fun activities and getting excercise (to get rid of the boy boobs)! Nope, these boy boobs won't bring us down! Let 'em stare, let 'em whisper, let 'em speculate, let'em, who cares?

Having said that, anyone who might come up and say something to us point blank will feel the pain of my mother tiger teeth!!!!

Perhaps a t-shirt for Casey may not be a bad idea.......

Editor's note: non of the images used in this blog entry are of Casey ..... but that guy with the "mansierre" is awful sexy!)

Does Anyone Else Find This Offensive?

2009-09-12T07:31:00.005-05:00

I was listening to an interview yesterday on National Public Radio's "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross. She was speaking with the creator of a new show on TV called "Glee". I guess it's about a teacher who is trying to help out a rag tag group of students who want to start a show choir. It's a comedy. They played a short soundbite from the show, and it hit me hard. I found the transcript of the interview and particularly the soundbite transcript. It's a discussion between the teacher trying to form the show choir and apparently his arch nemesis.
(Soundbite of television program, "Glee")

Ms. JANE LYNCH (Actor): (As Sue Sylvester) So I had a little chat with Principal Figgins, and he said that if your group doesn't place at regional, he's cutting the program. Ouch.

Mr. MATTHEW MORRISON (Actor): (As Will Schuester): You know, you don't have to worry about glee club. We're going to be fine.

Ms. LYNCH: (As Sylvester) Really? Because I was at the local library, where I read Cheerleading Today aloud to blind geriatrics, and I came across this little page-turner: "Show Choir Rule Book." And it turns out you need 12 kids to qualify for regionals. Last time I looked, you only had five and a half. Here - cripple in a wheelchair. I also took the liberty of highlighting some special ed. classes for you. Maybe you could find some recruits because I'm not sure there's anybody else who's going to want to swim over to your island of misfit toys.

Mr. MORRISON: (As Schuester) Are you threatening me, Sue?

Ms. LYNCH: (As Sylvester) Threatening you? Oh no, no, no, presenting you with an opportunity to comprise yourself? You betcha.

Oddly, I just had the part about the special ed classes on my brain but wow, that's overly offensive on so many levels now that I read it instead of hear it.

Hey, I have a great sense of humor, and I laugh at a lot of offensive stuff. Clearly they are trying to portray this character as an insensitive bitch, but they are also trying to be funny. I don't think this is funny. I don't think the fact that I personally have to have our son in a grouping of "Special Ed." funny in the first place, or that he has to be segregated by it or that the buses for the "Special Ed." are always short and are the brunt of many jokes. Don't people in "Special Ed. classes" have enough to contend without being put down on television where millions more can laugh and get humor out of their situation?

Am I overreacting to this? I hope to hear from a lot of you on this one. In all fairness, here is the whole transcript to be fair, but reading the rest doesn't really change my feelings.... And if you feel the same way I do, what can we do about this?
http://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=112721367

The First Week of School, in His Teacher's Words and Mine

2009-09-11T14:13:00.005-05:00

I recieved an email from Casey's lovely teacher this morning concerning his week, so I thought instead of going into extreme and no doubt boring detail from my perspective, I would just allow her email to tell the tale of his first week back. Not one for sitting back and saying nothing, I shall add in my remarks where I feel they are appropriate/add to her thoughts. So remember, the italicized words are me, Bonnie, who writes this blog, the regular words, Casey's teacher....

Hi Bonnie,

I must apologize for not getting back to you sooner...I am so sorry. I
have been swamped - 11 hour days at school and I am remodeling my kitchen
at home, plus putting up a fence in my boyfriend's yard, so my life has
been a bit too busy.

No problem at all Teach, I feel lucky to hear anything let alone a multi paragraph email from you when so many other parents have told me they receive nothing! So you have a boyfriend? Merowwwwr!

Let me just say that Casey has been having awesome days, and is doing
fantastic. He is getting his work done, is excited to be at school, and
talks about being happy. Can you send in some bite size butterfingers
again? He still asks for them and likes to work for one when things are a
bit rough for him. On Tuesday he had trouble turning off the commercials,
and yesterday he wanted the headphones, but was able to pull it all
together both days.

"Awesome" and "Fantastic" in one sentence!? This is where I stop reading right!!? I love that he is excited about school, I hope that he stays excited. I should have remembered to send in the Butterfinger incentives the first day, but I'm glad she reminded me! I'm not surprised he couldn't turn off the commercials since he DVRs them! Pulled it all together? Now that is awesome and fantastic!

I know things were a little bumpy for him in the morning yesterday coming
in (he stomped some of the flowers in the courtyard on the way in from the
bus), and said he didn't want to come in to school. Just an FYI - his bus
has been arriving late in the morning and in the afternoon as well. It's
getting better, but it has been late.

Well, flowers are overrated and I wouldn't want to come to school after a 20 minute bus ride either when I only live 5 minutes from school! I've been struggling with this whole bus thing because timewise, it would just make more sense for me to take him since we really are barely 5 minutes away. BUT, he wanted to ride the bus, and I thought it would get him into a routine better. We'll see how it goes....

We have the same students this year plus one more - his name is Marvin, so
you may hear Casey talk about him. Mrs. Moxham is the other teacher this
year and we have been doing things with her room as well, so if you hear
him mention her, that is why. Mrs. Walsh is also in that room, as well as
some of Casey's friends from Coolidge, so he is surrounded by familiar,
friendly faces.

She's eluding to all the people who were invovled with him in 4th grade, who he loved. So how nice is it to think he is in with a teacher he loves and has the one he loved in 4th grade so close by along with old friends from that class? I can't ask for much more right now!

We will be asking for money for CBI trips again, but we are not sure how
much we will need this year, so we will let you know. I am so excited to
have Casey back, and think this will be a wonderful year in many ways.
Casey asked me about my trip to Europe which was so nice. He will be
joining Mr. Ziegler's room this year for World Language which will begin
next week.

"CBIs" are "Community Based Instruction" where they go out into everyday situations IE grocery stores, fast food restaurants, etc. and learn how to do things. I love them, not only do they get instruction, but if it's nice they walk and get out of school. It's a long day. I hope it will be a wonderful year too, I love her attitude! I love that he asked her about her trip. He asked me several times over the summer about her being in Germany (I think he was thinking he would get a souvenier!! The World Language Class is with regular ed I believe and it should be awesome since he is really into Spanish and other languages.

I need to run so I can get ready for work. I hope all is well with all of
you at home. Talk to you soon,

J.

She wrote this at 5:12 am. She is awesome. We're very lucky, she totally understands him and I pray that this letter is a precursor to a great year and that I won't be using parts of it to write a nasty blog about her at some point! First week down, 49 to go!

How Long Will This Go On? Suggestions and Comments PLEASE!

2009-09-10T06:07:00.002-05:00

THE CHILD IS 5'5, 130 ODD LBS, LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY FROM BEING 11 YEARS OLD AND HE STILL WAKES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND GETS ME OUT OF BED TO COME AND SLEEP WITH HIM BECAUSE HE'S SCARED!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL?

That Time of Year Again....

2009-09-07T13:48:00.002-05:00

Yes, it's back to school time again! Yay! Yippee! Hoorah!...... Yay......

If I sound less than enthusiastic, it's because every year at this time, my guilts hit me like a brick wall when I realize time has run out, and I have to wonder what the hell I've been doing all this time he was free, and now he won't be... OH, I was working! Yeah, it sorta stinks that I had to put so much energy into figuring out who got to spend time with my child on his summer break, but such is life.

Now, he's gonna be at school all day, I'm gonna be workin' all day, and, well whatever. I'll quit complaining. I just think about all the things that could have been...zoo, Cedar Point, trips to the local lake/beach, trips to the museum that I planned but never took him to. Oh well, maybe next summer.

On an upbeat note, he seems very excited about going back, and keeps repeating his commercial pertaining to the subject. ""Blank" Elementary School is back, and bigger and better than ever! Coming September 8th!".

It's also so nice to think he's going to be with his teacher from last year. I know some say that kids should switch up teachers every year, but familiarity is good for Casey in every way. He loves her and trusts her and she really pulled a lot out of him last year. I think she's going to be pleasantly surprised to see how much more talkative and conversational he is this year. Hopefully, the gross stuff from my previous post won't rear it's ugly head in the classroom, but, she can handle that too. She probably won't believe how huge he's gotten over the summer either. I'm guessing at least 2 inches have been added to his already above average frame, as well as a few more pounds!

He's taking the bus, this year to school so can get into a better routine in the morn, and it gives me something to remind him to get ready for in the morning. We drove by school today and I showed him the route the bus would take to get him there. I showed him the door again where he went into last year. We've always done this little routine over the years, it seems to help.

And so, with his new cool red and black backpack (I picked it out, so I hope it's cool, 'cause he could care less), a snappy new outfit, and a good attitude, his first day of school should be great, especially since it's a half day, which I don't get. You know there will be pictures posted of course!

When Did My Kid get So GROSS?

2009-09-03T19:35:00.003-05:00

Again, when did my kid get so gross? All these new things are starting to happen and I want to know why all the sudden like? Oh wait, puberty? He's not even 11 years old.... But I did discover just recently underarm hair as previously mentioned which disturbed me to no end so it could be.

I mean, when did it become okay to shout "I let out a fart!" on our bike ride while a woman is walking by, right in earshot. When did it become fun to lay in bed without one's pants on doing who knows what under the blankies? How is it suddenly fascinating and necessary to touch various parts of one's body and smell your finger afterwards, discreetly you think, but it's not. Why does one become deaf when picking one's nose out in public, total oblivious, or so I think, to my reprimands? Why would one feel it's okay to kinda push one's self against someone inappropriately during an innocent hug?

I know, I know, he has Autism, he's getting hormonal, expect it. I also know that these are things "Neuro-typical" boys do or want to do too, I think, but just have a conscience or a little voice in their head or something that tells them to not! Or at least, be discreet, please.

Where can I buy that voice? Can I inject a conscience into his brain? Anyone got a good sexuality book to suggest? Is it too late for a cocktail? It's 8:46pm, I think it's the perfect time for a cocktail!

Here, Allow me to Set You Up for Failure......

2009-09-01T16:22:00.005-05:00

As the parent of a child with Autism, one should always be prepared for any predictable event that comes your way, especially ones that you plan, especially ones that have been historically, horrific...and especially events which cause your child extreme sensory discomfort. Yes, one should always be prepared....

So, allow me if you will, to beat myself up, and in turn, I will allow you to beat me up in a likewise fashion! How many people do that? Usually folks write blogs to receive helpful and supportive comments from the readers but not today my friends! Oh no, please, not one supportive comment please, just rail on me, agree with me, let me have it.

I will now get down to the reasons you will all give me grief (and I want it, I really want it). I will do it in bullet point fashion as a story would be as montonous and long winded as this opening....

-I announce to Casey, at lunch, right before I plan to take him that he is getting his hair cut today.
-this is bad.
-this is bad because he:
a) hates haircuts
b) does much better if I can talk to him about things that he doesn't like to do but has to do for a few days ahead, maybe include a social story.
-As we're driving to the cheap hair cut joint, he tells me quite clearly "I'm very nervous about this haircut!" while breathing heavily and holding his tummy.
-I react not at all to this and say "Oh come on, you've done great the last couple of times we went to this one!"
-this is total disregard for his feelings, total...on top of the fact that he just found out it was happening!
-We walk in, and it's crowded, and it's hot and the chairs of full of potential starers, that's all I can think about are the stares we will recieve, not about how he's feeling. YOU SUCK!
-The girl that always has done well with him waves us in, telling us everyone there is waiting for someone getting their haircut. It won't be long....good, this girl leads us to believe she will be cutting his hair.
-He sits and looks at magazines, saying commercials about the ads loudly, I threaten him with the loss of a trip to Salvation Army, which begins a long line of threats.
-He looks nervous and he's sitting and I should have gotten him up and outside walking until it was time, walking is good, it's calming, not sitting amongst 5 people who have nothing to do but stare (and not one of them were reading or feigning interest in something else. THEY SUCK! I SUCK!)
-He passes gas loudly, probably nervous stomach since his mom threw him into this situation. I'm hoping they think it's a leather chair fart...why do I care what they think? More threats. Can a 10 year old boy hold in gas? Threats!
-When our turn comes up, the girl we like says she'll sign us in, but she's leaving and that ANN will do his cut. Ann looks nervous already and I should have said no then, I should have just picked up on her Aura if you will of stress and nerves, 'cause it was comin' his way. It was comin' his way like a match to a briquet heavily doused in lighter fluid.
-I didn't say no, we had waited and he needed a cut....
-He sat, he fussed, he squirmed, he called out he wished he was a girl (makes sense, girls don't necessarily have to have tickly over stimulating clippers used on their sensitive neck, 'course neither do boys really).
-My tension level rose with theirs and I began more threats, as I tried to hold his head where she needed it to be, getting more and more irritated with him..... if I had only done things differently......
-Ann worked efficiently, too efficiently, but faster the better I suppose.... he calls out "You're ga...." I was able to cut off the "y" at the end of "gay"....Ann was non the wiser.
-I've never seen someone so relieved although not visibly glad to have finished a haircut in their lives, and I'm talking ANN!
-Casey stands up, looking gorgeous, hair covered, flustered, and red cheeked. "Sorry" he says on his own to ANN. My heart breaks....

No Casey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I set you up for failure despite 10 years of knowing better.... I can't promise, but I will try never to let it happen again.

Thoughts on My Thoughts

2009-08-27T16:06:00.004-05:00

Clearly, I've confused and baffled all my readers with my thoughts. I suppose it's because some of my thoughts weren't clarified enough, like who they were specifically about. That can be a problem when one's blog is about one's son who has Autism, and you mention a change in underwear for instance. That is confusing to be sure. I have to say I got a certain guilty pleasure out of the comments I recieved here and on Facebook, considering their humorous nature, which sometimes was intentional, but often not. So, I feel it is my duty to clarify my thoughts, plus, it makes for yet another easy blog entry! That's two in a row, baby! (I've been following up a lot of my sentences with "baby", I don't know why, it just feels right)

(just to clarify further, because clarification is what I'm all about, baby, my original thoughts are marked with an asterisk, and my thought on my thought, or clarification, if you will, is italicized! Clear, baby?)

*underarm hair suddenly appearing...a real shocker
Yes, this was about Casey, I have had my own for quite sometime, although I do discover it occasionally which brings about feelings of surprise when I've forgotten to shave for awhile

*how can one get their boy to stop, well, touching themselves, unconsciously, or conciously out in public?
I know this is a "guy" thing, but most guys don't walk down the street with their hand clearly exploring their nether region. This is the point I'm trying to make. If they did, everything would be okey dokey.

*why haven't I ever attempted to teach Casey to cook so he doesn't have to grab a chip or cookie whenever he is in need of something? Seriously, because one time he took cold pizza out of the frig, on his own, placed it on a plate and put it in the microwave! He's got the potential to learn! What's wrong with me?
this is more than clear, I suck.....

*What's wrong with me in general?
I was hoping I'd get more comments addressing this one, but you all failed me, as I fail Casey daily...

*I promised his teacher we would go over specific lessons this summer. Did I? Barely.....
sigh, again, I suck....

*To stay on the pill or get off it, one girl's story......(that one would be all about me, probably not the proper forum here in this blog, but it's a thought I've been having)....
ya know, sometimes my male relatives read this, so, what was I thinking? Well, I'm not takin' it back now, it's out there for all to see, enjoy, and reflect on. Hopefully my 84 year old father-in-law will comment soon!

*we went to Chicago for the weekend and it was great and he was great....
I want share the photos but I don't want to bore you...I guess that's the chance you take every time you read my BLOG!

*working full-time sucks when there's a 3 week window between camp and school starting...
what more can I say, I think you can all tell how I feel about this thought....

*can I lose 20lbs by Oct. 10th?
NO!

*will any of his school clothes from last year fit and do they make elastic shorts and pants in men's sizes?
thanks to so many of you for telling me that there are indeed men's spandex pants and shorts, but could you tell me where to get them for God's Sake? Egads....

*a change in underwear style...
no, I have not joined the "thong nation" nor plan on it (sorry R.) Casey changed his underwear style thank you, and not to thongs.

*sudden and much welcomed return to watching the Pee Wee Herman show after a couple of months of watching Blue Clues and having to discuss several times why Steve had to go to college.....
this might show up later as a blog entry....

*his disdain for his daddy's well intended every other day work outs and how I suddenly have had to accompany them....that was my time dammit!
I didn't have to go last night after Bill read this, and that was my main goal in sharing this thought!

I got so many good responses on this original post that I'm beginning to think that all my posts will just be lists of thoughts...it couldn't be anymore dull than my full bodied posts, baby!

Thoughts

2009-08-26T06:10:00.003-05:00

Yet another huge gap of time in my blogging....I truely don't know why I do this, I love blogging. Guess I'm just busy or whatever. I think of things all the time and go "Oh, I should blog about that." but clearly I don't. So, I am going to jot down some of the thoughts I have that I think I should blog about. I'm not going to go into detail about them, just jot them down, then perhaps, refer to them later as fodder for future entries. Please leave your thoughts, on my thoughts!

*underarm hair suddenly appearing...a real shocker

*how can one get their boy to stop, well, touching themselves, unconsciously, or conciously out in public?

*why haven't I ever attempted to teach Casey to cook so he doesn't have to grab a chip or cookie whenever he is in need of something? Seriously, because one time he took cold pizza out of the frig, on his own, placed it on a plate and put it in the microwave! He's got the potential to learn! What's wrong with me?

*What's wrong with me in general?

*I promised his teacher we would go over specific lessons this summer. Did I? Barely.....

*To stay on the pill or get off it, one girl's story......(that one would be all about me, probably not the proper forum here in this blog, but it's a thought I've been having)....

*we went to Chicago for the weekend and it was great and he was great....

*working full-time sucks when there's a 3 week window between camp and school starting...

*can I lose 20lbs by Oct. 10th?

*will any of his school clothes from last year fit and do they make elastic shorts and pants in men's sizes?

*a change in underwear style...

*sudden and much welcomed return to watching the Pee Wee Herman show after a couple of months of watching Blue Clues and having to discuss several times why Steve had to go to college.....

*his disdain for his daddy's well intended every other day work outs and how I suddenly have had to accompany them....that was my time dammit!

...and so on. So you see, I have lots I could blab about, I just haven't and well, I need to get my shit together!
Thanks for listening!

*

Back By Popular Demand and This Summer in a Nutshell

2009-08-12T05:26:00.006-05:00

....or so I'd like to think as much. My friend teased me in my own comments section no less, that the woman who wrote the "Julie & Julia" blog, now made even more famous by the wonderful movie by the same name that is out now, never missed a day of blogging. And I have missed, well, several. No way to get one's blog made into a movie she reminded me! Well, that whole thought is a bit moot, even if I wrote 4 entries a day! But, it does remind me how much I love my blog, and how neglectful of it I've been, if not in relation to the movie companies, but more in relation to my own sanity!

Many factors have contributed to this neglect. Summer in general has proven overly busy for me, us. I can't even remember if I ever mentioned this, recalling only my crappy attempt at poetry as the last thing I posted, but Casey has been going to a summer day camp for the second year. The camp is for kids 9 to 14 and 11 months (weird), who have any variety of disabilities, be they physical and/or mental.

Last year he was the youngest there, and seemed most of the kids were boys who were in there teens, likely at the 14 and 11 month mark, and Casey seemed really little next to a lot them. This year, they were all gone, replaced by more, but not so intimidating big boys, considering Casey seems to have grown about 4 inches since last summer and put on about 20lbs (gulp). There are also several young ladies of various ages, who Casey seems to reference more than any of his fellow male campers.

The counseling staff is made up of a group of college age kids, most going to school for education and special education degrees. One woman was a parapro for years which adds to that secure feeling I have when leaving him with the camp. He really seems to have clicked with them this year, giving them all "Toy Story" related nicknames.

They have done so much stuff, from water parks, to a trout farm of all things, to ceramics painting, to Chuck E. Cheeses. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, they stay around the area and swim in the indoor rec center and have theme activities. Yesterday was "Hawaii Day" for instance. Casey came home with a grass skirt he had made out of yarn and strips of paper and a lay with his name in Hawaiin on it.

It's funny when I pick him up, he's very ready to go, as is apparant when I'm signing him out, chatting with the counselors, and he's already gotten his back pack and is getting into the car.

The conversation in the car on our way home is well, very limited. Not many details of the day are offered on his part, and at first I would dig, dig, dig, but it would only serve to agitate him. I finally wised up towards mid camp and just let him tell me what he wanted, considering it was a long day of activities and he just always seems burned out, but in a good way.

This could be taken as a sign that he's not enjoying it at all, which occured to me at one point early on, but, when he comes home and wants to see his schedule the camp so kindly supplied for each week, so he can see what's going on the next day, I have to think, things are going pretty well. I never get a fight in the morning, and last week, he was actually sad that it was Friday (unimaginable to me) because he didn't have camp all weekend! Guess Bill and I just aren't that fun!

So, as you can gather, the whole camp experience has been a success! Friday is our last day, and then we have 3 whole weeks to fill before going back to school, which poses many challenges. Namely, work for both Bill and I!

My mom is coming in to help out for several days next week, and then that Friday we're going on a family trip to Chicago which hopefully will be fun! But then 2 more weeks to follow! Oh well, I'll stress out when it comes I suppose, finding taking things day by day sometimes is best for my psyche!

I also haven't been posting due to my irrational and well, embarressing addiction to Farm Town, a stupid game on Facebook, where you maintain a virtual farm, while having friends be your "neighbors" who come over and "harvest" for you, and you for them. Your goal is to get to certain levels so you can buy new things for your farm ie houses, fences, ponds, rivers, etc.. I'm up to 27 and can buy rivers now.....boy, I've accomplished a lot this summer huh? My addiction is wearing down, although I still have in head that I want to reach level 34, the highest level. I don't know why, just do.

And, along with nightly bike rides, and weekend trips to Indy and trip to Kings Island, and blissful nothingness, the summer is slowly creeping by, and I'm loving it. The thought of school starting, although it will alleviate child care issues, is daunting and sad when I consider he is going to be a 6th grader.

Oh well, I'll just take that day by day too.......

Our Hill

2009-07-17T09:39:00.004-05:00

The breeze blows the grass
that he's ripped from the top of our hill
Our bikes strewn below
The sky dark orange and blue with no sun or moon
between day and night
Skinny long clouds float by, tinged in aqua and gold
Cars headlights coming on, passing us on our hill
He wears his bright colored camp shirt, dotted with
the same pizza sauce thats on his cheek
as he rips that grass out of the hill
His sweet innocence glowing in the dimming day
We sit quietly, taking in summers free show on our hill
He asks a question, that is totally relevent
Does it get much better than this, I ask myself
Time passes unnoticed, happily, peacefully
Our arms grow goosebumps as the breeze cools us
Reminding us night has come
And without a word, we carefully trek down
with the satisfaction of drinking in the passing of
a summer dusk
on our hill

He's Growing Up...sniff sniff......

2009-07-01T16:31:00.003-05:00

As mentioned in a previous post, Casey's tastes don't often reflect those of a "typical" 10 year old. At the time I wrote that one, he was really into Barney of all things again, and the Wiggles. Currently, he is really gotten back into Blue's Clues, which I have to confess is fine with me, I always thought Steve was kinda cute. Watching them now, I have to say that honestly, although the show was clearly produced with young children in mind, it's really not all that "babyish". Steve actually talks straight to the camera, and he talks normally, not in a weird sing songy way (ie Barney), and they teach pretty good, if not basic lessons in English, math, science, and even history sometimes.

I bring this up because most 10 year olds wouldn't be caught dead watching Blue's Clues. No way! I would fathom to guess some 7 or 8 years olds wouldn't even put in such a video. So, was I wrong when I assumed Casey would enjoy a show put on at our local library by a woman called "The Music Lady", which is geared for toddlers and young children? He likes Blue's Clues, he probably would still like "The Music Lady".

We'd seen her about 2 years ago, and Casey LOVED her then. He got up and danced, sang, and even joined into a follow the leader sort of song around the auditorium, even then towering over the children that were at the time a year or two younger than him. He blended in, a bit. When I told him "The Music Lady" would be performing, and asked if he would want to go see her, he answered yes, less than enthusiastically. That should have been my first clue....

When we arrived, we found the performance starting in a small meeting room (well, it seemed small considering the 25 or so little ones sitting on the floor with all their parents sitting in chairs behind. The first time we saw her, it was in an auditorium, roomy, airy, good acoustics, less crowded.

As mentioned, the kids, all ranging from ages of 1 to 6, were sitting in front of her on the floor. I asked Case if he wanted to sit with them and he said no quickly, and I sensed embarrasment when I asked him. I wasn't used to this, and the light started to flicker in my brain, "What was I doing to this boy?".

So, we sat in the back row of chairs, behind the kids, behind the parents. The Music Lady began her performance, and I'm sitting there with a shit-eatin' grin, enjoying her goofy yet lovable deameanor with the kids. She started singing and I immediately started clapping along, not really thinking and looked over at Casey. He was sitting, rubbing his face and his eyes. He quickly looked at me and, I believe now, feigned interest for my sack and sort of started clapping.

This continued, and when she told everyone to stand up so we could do "Ring Around the Rosey" and "Motor Boat", the truth hit me like a wet dishrag! He was too old for this, physically, and mentally! I tried him out, grabbing his hands to see if just maybe he wanted to participate, and he quickly pulled his hands away, and asked if we could go look at the videos in the library. I gave in, respectful of his boredom, and lead him out.

I stood behind him as he pulled out each video, thinking about my faux pas. Why would I bring a 5'4, ten year old to a show clearly for little ones?

Well, he likes Blue's Clues, and that's on the same level, I thought.

Maybe I should have picked up on his sudden awareness of, I don't know, wanting to look his age(?) when that same morning he didn't want to bring his Blue's Clues sleeping bag to camp for "Camping Out" Day. He chose a more mature sleeping bag with a non descript rocket ship on it.

So, this new phenomena of almost hiding his immature likings is throwing me for a loop, in good and bad ways. In terms of bad, it just makes me sad that the days of going to such shows are over. I loved taking him to perfomances like this, but if he's bored or uncomfortable, then I guess I just need to go rent a baby. As for good, well, it is good that he is aware of how he looks to some extent, maybe wanting to blend in with his peers, not wanting to be associated with little kids despite his secret video choices.

Yet another sign of his growing up, and in way, a typical growing up thing to go through. I mean, did I tell people I secretly brushed my Barbie's hair till I was thirteen?.....Wait, I didn't write that did I?

Can't ya just have fun?

2009-06-26T13:34:00.004-05:00

Casey and I popped over to the local carnival last night, a bit spur of the moment. We had planned to go swimming indoors, despite his doing so at camp yesterday and the rain that had sorta stirred me away from going to the carnival had actually disappeared. The sky was clear and the air was noticeably dryer and cooler. Who could resist...

We had a nice time. He suddenly wanted to go on more rides than he did last year, and he wanted to play the hokey games! I brought a 20 dollar bill, assuming we would buy a treat and listen to music after walking around, as we always have in years past. This sudden interest in all the things carnival was new, interesting, and frustrating since I was an idiot and didn't pull more out of the ATM.

I managed to have enough for us to get a funnel cake, go on the old fashioned cars, and play one game which he lost of course 'CAUSE THEY' RE RIGGED I TELL YA!!!

Sorry... Anyway, as we walked I couldn't help but get that sad, regretful feeling about all the kids that looked around Casey's age strolling the grounds in packs, laughing, teasing the opposite sex, going on the big rides, having the times of their lives. And here's Casey, walking around with his boring mother.

I began to resent these kids, resent their normalcy. I began to wonder if Casey would ever have friends to walk around a carnival with sans supervision. Could he ever walk around a carnival sans supervision? Will he ever experience life as it should be for a kid, fun, free, an adventure of sorts?

Basking in my "feeling sorry for myself" attitude like a corn dog in hot grease, we passed a mom pushing her son in a wheelchair. The boy was in his teens and looked like he might have severe cerebral palsy. His limbs were crooked and very uncomfortable looking, tight. His neck was turned so that his head was positioned to the side. Your heart would go out immediately if you saw him.

But, he was smiling and eating cotton candy. He looked happy despite his obvious disability and discomfort. He was simply enjoying the carnival. I looked over at the tall, strapping boy lopping along side of me and thought "He suddenly wanted to go on more rides than he did last year, and he wanted to play the hokey games!"

Fun is in the eye of the beholder I guess......and clearly, my boy and the cotton candy muncher weren't seeing what I was seeing....

At that, I told myself "Get over it!".

A Comedy of Errors, pre Casey's Return....

2009-06-23T18:10:00.009-05:00

Well, Mr. Casey D. has returned to Motown after a fabulous week in Indy! He had a great time from all accounts (non of which of course were told to me by the good time boy himself). His Aunts Sue and Cheryl split up the week, and both showed him a rockin' good time. As mentioned in a recent blog entry, I don't think he really missed me at all but I guess that's a good thing.

My dear sisters offered to bring him home Sunday afternoon and offered to stay and hang out for a day too. I accepted, not wanting to make that long drive again in the same week! Plus, I was a little hungover from a wedding we attended on Saturday...Hey, I don't get out much okay!

So, Sunday, Father's day, started out okay. No Casey made it seem a little less fatherly for Bill to be celebrating. However his own parents did come over so he could celebrate his Pop (it's really only fair, Ernie (Bill's Dad) has been a father far longer than Bill and deserves some recognition).

We cleaned and prepared and I went to the store to buy some snackies to make the in-laws visit fun. But when I got home, Bill quickly lead me out to the backyard in a panicked fashion. Ricky, our youngest and most unliked at times feline, had made his way to the top of a tree in our backyard!

Ahhhhhh, funny, funny.....So funny...........

And so, that was around 2pm. The In-laws were on there way, stuff still needed to be done, and the cat was stuck in the tree!

Long story long, after many failed attempts at trying to get this idiot down, and much concern on the part of my in-laws and ourselves, making it almost unfathomable for me to be a fab hostess like I usually am, we gave up around 2 am. It was so sad, he meowed and meowed but nothing was bringing him down, not even the opened can of salmon we left high as we could on a branch. I had called the fire department and as I told my story, the operator cut me off, and said they will not come and that I needed to put a can of cat food at the bottom of the tree and he would come down eventually? Really? A cat can smell cat food from 40 ft? Really?........That damn salmon that I put high up probably didn't even make it's way to his nostrils!

On top of all this drama, my sisters who were bringing Casey back never arrived at the time we thought they would. Freaking out, I called, to get both their answering services on their cells! What the....? Suddenly Cheryl called to tell me Casey had puked all over Sue's pillow she had brought in the back seat and they were taking care of things, not to worry! Yeah, okay....

They finally arrived around midnight, and a sick but awake Casey seemed very glad to see us! He was also excited to see his new room. What then followed was about 6 trips to the toilet for not puking, but the other end's activities. So, between wondering if my little cat was falling off a branch out in the dark of night getting eaten by a raccoon and my son's mysterious and sudden onset bowel activity, non of us got much sleep!

Things got better the next day. Casey seemed to feel okay, despite more bathroom trips (finally remedied by some Immodium), I had to have our friend come with his lumberjack gear and get the cat out of the tree. He had made it through the night miraculously, but somehow got even higher! Kevin, our cat lifesaver, heroically made it up the tree and got the little ass down, risking life and some limbs (of my tree) to save the little jerk......(he's really up there, just look at our friend and then go up and to the left)

We later went and had Greek, made our way through IKEA, had some cinnamon rolls and coffee, drank some booze, watched the "Bacherlorette" (the sister's idea, not mine) and had a great time despite all the crap the had occurred! They left this morning before I hauled Case off to his first day of camp, which is another blog entry entirely....and I was sad. I miss them already......

If you don't have a sister, you really should get some....but not cats....don't bother........

A Promise Kept....

2009-06-20T13:15:00.004-05:00

For the last two years, I have promised Casey that I was going to paint his room red (per his choice) every time he goes to hang out with the family in Indiana. Yep, that's what I promised...

So the first year, the time just got away from me and I just never quite got the old paintbrush out, and much to the disappointment of Casey, he came home to the same icky faded green walls and teddy bear border he'd known since he was born.

The next time he was away, promises were once again made. Well, in all fairness, I got the teddy bear border down. I tearfully ripped down the last vestiges of Casey's babyhood, recalling the day when, bulging with pregnancy, my sister Sue and I put that border up, wondering at the cuteness of it when we were done. It was sad, but change is good. The border was down but the green wasn't. Sadly, Casey was so wanting me to do something to his room that just this tiny change was much appreciated! In other words, he took what he could get! What a good mom.....

Considering his latest visit was to last a week, I told myself that I HAD TO PAINT HIS ROOM. Had to... I really had no excuse.

The red was still on my mind since that's what I promised him it would be, but the more I thought about it, red is well, stimulating. Actually, I've read it makes one hungry, but to me it's a busy hue, and I had to wonder if that would be a good idea for a room in which one had to go to sleep at night. Considering the fact that we have to give the boy Melatonin sometimes just to settle him down to go to sleep, red might not be the all around best choice. But I did promise. Well, four walls offers opportunity for creativity, so I chose to paint one and half walls "California Ruby" red, and the other two and a half "Almond Toast". Breaking up the red with a calmer, earthy tone seemed to make sense.

I started on Tuesday, and as of today, I have all the walls done, with two needing touching up/second coat perhaps. So I'm doing good. He's coming home tomorrow and I'm anxious to try and run out and get him a new bedspread to go with the room's new "big boy" look. I'm quite pleased with the results, and I hope he will be too, 'cause I'm not doing this for another 10 years!

It's still a little strange to pass by and not see that nursery color. I've sorta saved a little piece of those days though! I was happy to discover that at one point in his baby days I tried to start a measuring chart of sorts on his door, and it looks like I only got around to doing so twice, but it's there, and it's priceless. I can still see the green, and I can physically see how little he once was.....Sorry Casey, I won't be painting that!

School's Out!

2009-06-17T17:34:00.003-05:00

Casey is out of school as of last week. His last day was Thursday and it was really strange. There was no end of year party that the parents were invited to. They did have a huge bowling party with some other classes that Tuesday before but parents weren't invited to that either. I popped in anyway to see what was happening and say good bye to the teachers.

He was having a great time. The alley was set up like Midnight Bowling with dark lights and fluorescent stuff on the walls, rock music blaring. I was standing chatting with his teacher when he suddenly walked up and put his arm around her and did his little lovely smelling thing to her cheek. Yes, I was jealous, I was. But I'm glad he loves her so much. On the last day, his teacher came out to meet me when I dropped him off to let me know that she will officially be his teacher again next year! I was elated, but it got better. The teacher Casey had in 4th grade is coming over to take the other AI teacher's place and he loves her too!!!!! It's going to be teacher heaven next year and I am elated! I told Casey about it but I think it's too far into the future for him to absorb yet, but not me!

He made mention a few times the weekend after that he was going to miss Ms. M.. When I asked him why, he replied "She adores me!". Like I don't. Yes I was jealous.... Anyway, it's cool that he wasn't that thrilled to leave school, it may make going back for 6th grade that much easier.

Casey is now with his Auntie Cheryl in Indy, being spoiled and being kept extremely busy. I don't think he misses me...yes, I am jealous...but that's okay because he's having a great time and I am able to work without worrying about him. He often talks of living in Indy, and I think he thinks his life would be like it is on summer break all the time. Trips to the Children's Museum, lots of fast food, fun, frivolity, sweet Aunts who hardly ever get mad at him. Since it probably won't ever happen, at least not in the near future, I'll let him live the dream....

I have personally felt a little like I'm on vacation, despite working. As any parent knows, not having to be "on" all the time is so nice. Not having to keep someone busy, entertained, worrying about someone's safety, feeling guilty if you aren't doing all those things every minute, that's a vacation in it's simplest form, for me at least.

We're going to a wedding Saturday night, and out to see a movie Friday night, another movie with my dear friend tommorow...nice. I have been working out, and cleaning, and organizing.

Somehow though, there's always a little emptiness, missing little sounds, rather cute or annoying, walking by a room to see what someone is doing and no one is there. It's weird. I enjoy my time, but I know by Sunday, I'll be havin' a Casey "jones" and won't be able to wait to hug his chubby little self!

Separation does make the heart grow fonder, at least mine!

This and That

2009-06-01T10:06:00.011-05:00

First off, for all you moms and dads who have little ones with Autism read this because I think it could really give you a little hope despite things you are or aren't doing for your kiddo.

Go, read it, and then come back, I'll wait...tra la la la!....Cat! Get off the sink! Casey, don't chew on that! Stop! ugh.....

Okay, sigh.....oh sorry, you're back...yeah, so anyway, did that make ya feel good? I have to atest to it, Casey seems to get better every year, speech wise, independence, how he carries himself, all that. He still has a ways to go, but he's come so far, and I believe that most of it is attributed to age, experience, maturing. We have given him vitamins, lots of vitamins, tried the diet, done some therapies, mostly at school, and lots of love, but age has been the biggest "magic bullet" I believe. So, despite all the things that are yet to come, there have been so many things that have gone away, thank GOD!

Having said that, with age has come anxiety for Case. He's been experiencing it mostly in the form of saying he's hearing voices in his head, and allowing them to drive him to the point of crying. Another anxiety I think I've mentioned before was his problem with the year 2009, he hates it for some reason. Of course, he hated Saturdays for about a 6 month period, and he's over that now thank God again (he actually said to himself in the toilet at the library last Saturday "I used to hate Saturdays but now I think they're really cool"! Supports the age issue above I think, our attempts never helped, he got over it on his own for sure!) These are the two anxieties that have stood out.

So, we took him to a doctor here who I had heard about for years, all good things. I have known of her since he was around 3, and known a good many parents who have taken there kids there. She's a medical doctor, I'm done with going to a DAN focused doctor. The appointment was interesting, and long story short, she gave me two options for dealing with Casey's Autism as a whole: either try meds, or explore and stick to biomed with her support.

I really respected her at the point she said with no hesitation that in all her years of treating kids with Autism, biomed or otherwise that she has never "cured" one, nor has she seen a child who has been cured. I respected her even more when she said she didn't look down upon parents who chose the medication route over biomed. Biomed is a huge commitement and she understands that. And with that, she prescribed Wellbutrin and told me to make an appointment in 6 weeks after trying the Wellbutrin, and we'll let her know how that goes and if we want to persue the biomed stuff.

Well, it's been over 3 weeks since then, and I still have not tried the Wellbutrin. I immediately got home and started reading about it online, and honestly, I can't find anything good about it pertaining to Autism, nothing. If you have something to offer, please do so. Plus all the stuff that it can cause, including thoughts of suicide, really frighten me. So, other than a really good fish oil supplement that I found that she thought he could benefit from for his skin, I have given him nothing.

On another note, allow me to brag for a moment 'cause lets be honest, we don't get to brag as much as typical parents.

This morning, we were watching the news over breakfast, his choice, and they mentioned the date March 17th as the day of something happening. He goes "They said March 17th!" and I said "Yeah?" wondering what significance it held for him. He answered, "That was a Tuesday!". Really? I walked over to the calendar, and indeed it was. I started spouting off dates, one after the other, to which he would reply the exact day it fell on with no hesitation! I was a little breathless honestly, I really was not aware of this skill he has (yeah, it's a splinter skill, whatever, it's a skill and it's cool), and I couldn't stop asking him different days. He was never wrong on one, nor did he have to think more than a moment to answer. Wowzer! Do your kids have such skills? I bet they do, please share in the comments section if you can.

I think I was so surprised about this because he hasn't really displayed a skill like this since he was little and put the US and ABC puzzle together in minutes and he was only 2 or 3 years old. Also, his math skills are so awful, at least on paper and trying to do homework, that I have to wonder if he is doing this mathematically or does he literally have the calendar page memorized in his head? I wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter.

One more thing, I have been reading an awesome book called "A Regular Guy-Growing Up with Autism" by Laura Shumaker. You really must read it. I have to confess, I don't read much more than stuff on the internet and magazine articles, so it says a lot that I have commited to this book. It's so interesting, relatable, honest, funny, sad, all that. I like it because for the first half, I could relate, as Mrs. Shumaker's son is growing up, but now I'm at the point of learning, as she recalls his years from around 13 on. I can't wait to find out what he was like as a teen and now. Please, please, please read it. You won't regret it!

Facebook is my Friend

2009-05-29T12:30:00.004-05:00

Almost a month! Almost a whole month it has been since I have last blogged! Shame on me.

It's not like I had nothing to blog about. On the contrary, much has happened the last 4 weeks that would have made great fodder for a number of entries. But alas, not a one has has made it's way here.

I haven't gotten any big requests for an entry, so I don't think I've dissappointed anyone, so that's good. My 12 followers haven't started a petition to get me to do another entry, so that makes me feel like no when really gives a .....

But like I always say, I blog for myself, and the only one I should care about disappointing ismyself! Oddly, even I'm not that bummed. I think it's only a genuine blog when one writes when they want to write and from the heart. So my heart hasn't been into it lately.

I have for some reason unbeknownst to me been capitvated by Facebook. I spend a lot of time there. It's cool, I've reunited if you will with some friends and family that I haven't seen or talked to in years, so there's that. But my fascination with checking in to see status updates and to see if someone has commented on my own is really sorta weird for me.

At one point I just quit Facebook, didn't tell anyone, just did it, my apparant addiction startled me so. I had to be free, I had to stop checking to see if someone found my witty status remarks funny, I had to stop seeing who was online so I could chat them up even though they probably didn't want to talk to me, I HAD TO STOP!

My friends were surprised and razzed me about it. And within a week, I couldn't stand it any longer and got back on. The only advantage to doing that whole martyrlike sacraficial act was that I was able to quietly ditch a person who I had accepted as a "friend".

He had been my manager years ago at one of my first jobs, and at the time, there was a group of us that partied together, and I always wondered if he had a crush on me. I mean, he did buy me all the Cadbury Creme Eggs that were marked down after Easter in our store. I think that says "crush" right there. And although I took and probably ate them all, we never "hooked" up so to speak. But alas, he found me on Facebook, and we reunited.

It was good to hear from him, but, he would send these daily queer heart things and happy faces and talk about Nascar and that was just about it for me, and so, I ditched him. I quietly ditched him. I figured after a week of me not posting, he'd think I fell off the face of the earth. Facebook let's you do that. I haven't be defriended yet that I know of but it could happen and I check periodically. If only real life could be that easy!

And so, that's what my life has been lately, in this order: Casey, Bill, cats, work, housecleaning, trying to lose weight for the weddings coming up this summer, Facebook, email, fish. Sad huh?

I haven't even been reading other's blog. I take that back, I have been reading the Queen of Autism blogging, Kristina Chew, formerly Autism Vox. But then, she's my Facebook friend, and she posts when she blogs, so that way, I go and read, I don't have to seek things out.

Facebook is just making things too easy. Reunions with people I haven't thought about for years, getting rid of people after I've met them, finding immediate approval about my status updates, reading blogs without seeking them out. I couldn't do this without Facebook. I love Facebook!

I gotta go and post that I blogged now, on Facebook.......

Hey, come over and look me up, Bonnie Stonebraker Davis. But don't you dare defriend me! http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?ref=mb#/profile.php?id=1174800152

Ringworm Around the Rosey

2009-05-08T07:22:00.004-05:00

Yeah, that's a picture of Casey's hand. Can you see those little spots? Really? Barely? Yeah, us too! But he has Ringworm and can't go to school!

He's had these spots for a couple of weeks, me applying creams and lotions not sure, maybe wondering about Ringworm, but just trying on my own to extiguish it. He never complained about it, scratched it. It never bled, or oozed.

It's on his right hand, his writing hand, the hand he uses ALL THE TIME. There have been no other cases at school, it hasn't spread, no pandemic as it were.

So, yesterday, his teacher, who I love, calls me from the bus on their way a field trip and starts asking me about the "lesions"....Lesions, geez.......Had I noticed them? Of course, mother's notice everything. Did I consider Ringworm? No, I fibbed, not wanting to look bad. Well, she was certain it was, she had seen many cases. Would he wear a bandage to cover it? No, I answered, I have never been able to get the child to wear one. A glove she had wondered? Sure, if you can find one!

By the end of the day, she called to confirm that 3 other "experts" in Ringworm diagnosis had confirmed her suspicions and he would need to go to the doctor to get the final call. If he had it, he would not be able to come to school tomorrow and not until the "lesions" cleared. Are you kidding me?

We went to the doctor, who literally asked after he did in fact diagnose it as Ringworm, "is that all you came for?". "Yes" I answered in a sarcastic way. He wrote a prescription and we were on our way.

I know, I wouldn't want my child around a kid with Ringworm, if it looked like this:

NOW THAT'S A "LESION"

So, we're off to breakfast with Miss Eileen, and then the day is our's. It's beautiful out too....yes, it is a "lesion".

Casey Does His Part For Autism Awareness

2009-04-27T17:32:00.002-05:00

Pinching? Cupping? What?

2009-04-23T15:05:00.006-05:00

I got this email today from Casey's teacher, and instead of being mortified, I guffawed out loud. Yes, "bad mom" came out again!

Re: the note sent home yesterday about Casey pinching the gym teacher's butt..I checked with her and she said it was more like cupping her butt cheek. She was walking next to him trying to get him to run when he did it. He did go down to gym a little agitated as he wanted to stay in my room for the Earth Day Walk, so I think he was on edge to begin with and she then pushed him a little farther down the road. She took it with good humor, but...it really was inappropriate, especially when the other students see it. I am wondering if he could have gotten it from anything he watches at home - he said today that he was no longer allowed to watch Pee Wee Herman...

I have a few questions. Did he "cup" or just "place" his hand on her ass? Honestly, do they think he is getting any sexual gratification out of this at this age? Having said that, he did ask me if I was wearing a "bra" the other day! Hhhhhhmmmmm.....

And, why didn't he get to go on the Earth Day Walk? It was Earth Day, walking the earth would have been a good replacement for gym I would think. I'd be agitated and touch the gym teachers butt too!

In response to the question I am wondering if he could have gotten it from anything he watches at home , I would have to say no, we don't watch that haughty reality hit "Whose Ass Can You Put Your Hand On?", unless he's been sneaking around watching it! Damn kid!

Oh, and he lied, he does still watch Pee Wee, but, I have never seen Pee Wee or anyone on the show put their hand on someone else's ass. What Pee Wee does out of the Playhouse is a differenet story all together and has no baring on Casey!

So, yeah, it was inappropriate, I agree. I told him so...but it's all still a bit funny. You gotta laugh to keep from cryin'.

Faux Hawks and Growing up

2009-04-22T07:48:00.005-05:00

This, is Casey's new look. The Faux Hawk. Not a real Mohawk, but a Faux Hawk. For those of you not getting it, it's a Mohawk like style gelled and sprayed out of a regular haircut. There is no shaving involved, no permanency, although he has woken up with a Faux Hawk from the day before, a testament to the fine hair styling products we use I guess.

I usually help him get his bedhead under control each morning and one day, just for shits and giggles, made it into a Faux Hawk, totally expecting him to flatten it down immediately. But instead, he touched it delicately while admiring himself in the mirror, and walked away satisfied. The next day, I asked him if he wanted the same, and he did, and thus began the era of the Faux Hawk.

I'm not a trendy gal, so needless to say, I don't try to have a trendy child. But after going to his school for something or other and seeing the other boys with an array of hairstyles beyond the realm of what I could have ever seen when I was in grade school, I considered this trendy move on our part. Perhaps others will think he looks cool at least with the Faux Hawk. Or, is it possible to look cool while regaling yourself out loud with one of your favorite commercials, despite whatever hairdo you might have? Who knows?....

I even wrote his teacher a little note stating that I am not forcing the Faux Hawk upon him, but that he insists on it each morning. She in turn replied that everyone loves the new look and even a teacher he didn't associate with came in to tell him how trendy he looked! So, apparantly, the Faux Hawk is going over well all around.

I'm a bit fascinated with this whole new awareness of appearance, because he truly has never cared much before about his clothing or hair or anything like that. In fact, I'm very conscious of what he has on each day, just so he doesn't "look" like a nerd. But I love that he is thinking about his hair and how it looks. I love that he stands still and watches in the mirror the whole time I am creating the "do". It's normal for kids to want to look cool, and if he thinks that he looks cool with the Faux Hawk, then he has some normalcy going there, and that's really cool! Just a little sign that he's growing up I do believe.

Thank God for sensory issues, or else I fear ear piercing might come next!

Mixed Feelings

2009-04-14T17:38:00.003-05:00

Again, I have been extremely remiss in keeping up with my blog. It's been a busy time. Casey is in Indiana with his loving mothers...I mean Aunts. Spring Break came up before I knew it, and I finally decided to take him there the weekend before, and then come back, work Monday thru Wednesday and then go back and spend the rest of his Spring Break in Indy.

He's having a great time. At this very moment, I believe he is at some big indoor amusement park dealie driving racing cars with his Aunt Sue. He loves Indy. I know he thinks life there is awesome because he is only there short spans of time. During these time spans, everyone caters to him and we try to do stuff that's fun for him, he eats out a lot, and gets pretty much whatever he wants. I think he believes that's how things would be if he was there all the time. Not to mention he has a great love for the local Indy news station. Indy is a dream land for Casey.

While childless, I actually watched "Twilight" sans Bill in the room, too much of a chick movie I suppose. (Having said that, he was watching "Dancing with the Stars" in the other room. Hhhmmmm?.....) I really enjoyed it, the characters were good, my disturbing attraction to the mysterious Edward was troubling and exciting at the same time (especially since I'm pretty sure the actor who played him is like 15 years younger than me, but a lot of other "older" broads have agreed he is alluring),and the story was great. I didn't read the book, way too much trouble, but I think I might now.

I have cleaned, worked longer without worrying about getting Casey off the bus, read some magazines, and tonight, we are going out with our dear friends to celebrate a birthday. Margaritas will flow, and it will be fun.

I do however miss Casey immensely. Isn't odd how when your kids around, you're constantly thinking about what you could be doing if you didn't have to mess with them? And now, I have this time, and I'm missing him! My sister keeps sending pictures over the cell of him enjoying Dairy Queen, or at this amusement park deal and I am jealous that I'm not there watching him have fun! I guess I'm not as sucky a mom as I thought.

And most importantly, he's having fun, and getting loved. And even more importantly, we didn't have to get a babysitter and I can whoop it up tonight! Hee haw!!!!!!!!

An Email Says it all

2009-03-31T21:03:00.001-05:00

Mr. L---,
Our son, Casey Davis, is in your fifth grade vocal class. You may recall meeting me (Bonnie) prior to the Spring Fling last Friday.

Today, I attended the daytime performance of the Lewis and Clark presentation. After watching the performance, I have to ask why Ms. M.'s and Mrs. S’s students with ASD were not included in the onstage performances along with all the other fifth graders from general education and cross categorical classes.

With my video camera at the ready, I waited for the students with ASD (including my son) to have their chance to shine on stage with the other kids, but it never happened. I did however, film them sitting in their places next to the other kids, standing when they were supposed to, holding their song sheets appropriately and following along, singing their hearts out. Even one of the more severe students in the group was standing and singing, thoroughly enjoying herself.

This really angered and saddened me at the same time. As I watched the students on stage, I noted a lot of different kind of kids. Some did the choreography great, some stumbled a little, some sang with expression and some hardly opened their mouths. None of them seemed like they were on the road to stardom, but you could tell that all of them were having a great time, and probably experienced pride in the fact that they were on stage for their parents and friends to see. I just wish my son and his classmates had had this opportunity as well.

I tell you this in the hope that this scenario will not happen again and that Casey and his classmates will be included in any and all performances the school puts on. Personally speaking, Casey had the lines memorized from the CD that was provided and he had been doing some of the moves that were in the show for the last month. We just hadn’t realized where the moves had originated from until I witnessed other students performing the same moves on stage. Again, I just have to wonder why he didn't have the same chance to perform on stage as his fellow students.

Music is one of the greatest forms of self expression and shouldn't be limited by one’s disabilities.

Thank you,
Bonnie and Bill D.

We didn't got to the second performance this evening. We went swimming....

3-D Makes for a Successful Movie Outing

2009-03-29T11:25:00.004-05:00

Last night we went on one of our traditional "go see the latest kid crap movie" with our dear friends who have two kids themselves. We find that kids flicks are more bearable with other adults along for the usually boring ride, who are always happy and never embarressed to share a beer during the viewing! Yes, the theater that we pick out on purpose has a bar, if it doesn't, we have flasks. Call social services, whatever.

So, lately when Casey goes to see a movie, he's been known to hum and literally jibber jabber through most of it, unless of course he's trying to get us to take him to the bathroom at least 3 to 4 times during the film. Despite the fun concessions and gigantoid soft drink I allow him to have, he still can't get into some of the movies we've gone to see lately.

When my friend mentioned that the one we were going to see was in 3-D I was kinda curious and a little excited by the prospect. Earlier this week, Casey had found some 3-D glasses in a magazine (or more like a little board shaped like glasses that you had to hold on your face to look at 3-D pictures in the magazine). He actually asked me in his own way to make them stay on his face, so I punched holes and attached a string.

As you can see, it worked out pretty well, and he was happy. He wore them on and off the rest of the night and insisted on wearing them to school. I took him a little later so people wouldn't see him coming in with them on. I mean, I admit it, he looks a little goofy, but something about them and the way they make things look really appeals to him.

Back to the movie! Well, we got glasses going in, which were much better than the ones pictured. I tell ya, 3-D has come a long way since I was a kid. Things actually look like they are coming at you! At one point, I actually thought a person had stood up and was standing in the way of the screen, but it was a character in the movie! Whacky!

It kept Casey's attention too! I noticed he would watch, hold his hand out, as if to touch what was coming at him. Occasionally, he would look over the glasses to see what it looked like without. He even leaned over to me several times and asked a question concerning the plot. Comments were also made that were right on! I was thrilled!

Lesson learned? I guess in order for Casey to enjoy a movie, it has to be 3-D!

It's all how ya look at it right?

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-25T07:08:00.003-05:00

Is There a Therapist, Psychiatrist, Psychologist, etc. in the House?

2009-03-24T14:17:00.003-05:00

If you are a regular reader to my blog, you know that for the most part I try to stay pretty upbeat. I really don't want this to be a whining forum, because personally I find it boring. Most of my time spent with Casey and Bill is great, with it's normal family ups and downs, but nothing horrible, so I don't have much too complain or whine about.

Now having said this, I think I should use my blog more to get input from other Autie parents. A lot people seem to get a lot of good advice as I read through comments on other blogs! Free, great advice from people with world's of experience. So I think I will take advantage of the possibliity of getting a bit of free and useful advice today and share something about Casey that's been happening as of late.

First, I can't pinpoint an exact reason, or subject or time, that has to do with this, it's very random. "This" being these very strange times for Casey of total breakdowns with tears and true fear showing in this face and his not being able to quite get out what it causing the episode at hand. Case in point, last night.

He was laying in bed when he suddenly started crying and saying that he had pictures in this head and he couldn't get them out of his head. We began to gently interrigate him, but to no end, hearing everything about the "picture" as being the one his wall that I quickly took down, to pictures from the computer ("Did you see something scary on the computer?" we'd ask? "No" he'd reply, fearful of losing computer). He laid there and just cried, screeching out occasionally but we could never quite get out of him what he was upset about.

He made his way into our bedroom where we have a tv hooked to cable and decided that watching a DVR'd show about a local news channels 60th anniversary would get the pictures out of head! I laid with him and watched, and he did calm down, almost as if the diversion of the tv show helped, as he thought it would. He eventually feel asleep, and slept fitfuuly all night.

Sunday at Special Olympics swimming he cried and was flustered all during practice, siting that it wasn't 2009, but 2007. This old debate has been going on for quite sometime now and I may have even blogged about it at some point. He has a thing about 2007, and I don't remember it as a great year, but he must. Yet another mysterious thing that causes a breakdown.

I could go on and on with little examples of these sort of episodes. He's 10 now, and about as tall as me (I'm guessing 5'5, 5'6) and 125 lbs. I am guessing that hormones maybe setting in although I have seen no evidence of puberty other than b.o.. I often fear that perhaps he might have some psychosis involved along with his Autism and it's starting to manifest itself. Could he be schizophrenic? He's afraid of mirrors and he is always afraid some toy that he hates is outside his bedroom window. Or, has he had bad dreams that sort of manifest themselves in his memory so strongly that they even affect him when he's awake? Or, is he acting out because of some other issue or emotion he is having that he's not sure how to deal with? COME ON PEOPLE! HELP ME! YOU'RE ALL PSYCHOLOGISTS AREN'T YOU?!!!!!

Speaking of, we do have an appointment with a doctor in May who is an MD and a psychologist who works a lot with kids with disabilities. I am really anxious to see her and share this stuff with her. Although I'm not really big on the idea of meds, I have to wonder if perhaps this is all anxiety driven and there might be something to help qualm all this craziness.

But still, tell me what you think, tell me your experiences, and if you haven't had any, send my blog to someone who has and ask them to comment. I need all the help I can get!.....

On my Soapbox Again......

2009-03-20T07:57:00.011-05:00

I wasn't going to do it, I wasn't going to get on my soapbox about this, nope, wasn't gonna. BUT! But, I feel I have to to some extent, and I'll explain why.

First of, what am I getting on my soapbox over? Well, this. Click on the orange "this" for all you non computer relatives and friends and you will see President Obama making an appearance on the "Tonight Show". While chatting with Jay Leno, they discuss his bowling prowess, and President Obama jokingly likens it to Special Olympics!.......

Okay.....

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I saw this this morning over my bowl of Apple Jacks, well, my tummy sorta dropped and Bill and I were taken aback! Bill, who is hardly ever surprised nor stunned, was a bit! I felt like I suddenly didn't like the President for a few minutes, and wondered if he makes off-handed jokes like this in private too?

How can a man who I have practically idolized since he's come into the public sector say something like this? I luv him, I luv his wife, I love that he's African American and is the president. I love that his name makes people feel unstable, I love that he has a beer at basketball game and doesn't care if anyone sees him drinking it.

I guess his joke hits home because Casey goes to Special Olympics Swimming each Sunday. He loves it, and so do all the other kiddos with varying degrees of some disability or another. Non are a like, but they are a team, a group. When he's done, the older swimmers come in, happy to be there, happy to be with their friends, happy to be part of a team. If you have experienced any sort of Special Olympic event or practice, you know from where I speak. It is truly "special", and not in a goofy nice use of the word for disabled people!

So when you hear someone make such a comparison as the President did, it hurts a little. It all goes back to the fact, I believe, that the vast majority of people feel superior to those with disabilities, so it's easy to make such a joke about them, and unfortunately, it's funny to many.

I don't know if President Obama feels this way. I doubt he does, because I know he is a good person. And I know it's easy to do. I know kids with disabilities have funny gaits, funny ways of speaking, funny characteristics, all which they can't help. I know it's easy to use them as fodder in self deprecation. I have done it myself over and over. I can be the queen of insensitivity!

Which brings me back to why I feel like I have to get on my soapbox about this whole thing. It seems to be happening more and more.

Bill told me of a co-worker, during a discussion on Oscar winners, commenting that Dustin Hoffman should never have won for "Rainman". He didn't understand why someone would get an Oscar for acting like a "retard". I asked Bill if he said anything, considering his office mates know his son has Autism. He didn't.

I was working with my bosses boss this week when he was helping me do a little extra something that I usually do myself. I joked that they need to hire assistants for us and he said "Yeah, maybe we could hire some disabled kids!". Did I say anything? Nope, I did not.

So, is this passivity that Bill and I exhibited the norm? Should we start speaking up when people make such comments, even if it might embarrass a boss, friend or co-worker, or President? I know I've been taken to task for a comment I've made here and there. It did embarrass me, put me on the defense even, but it made me think. It made me be more conscious (especially since Casey was born) of what I say.

Do I stumble occasionally? Yes, I admitted to being the queen of insensitivity!

And so, I am getting on my soapbox to say, with my bullhorn in hand pointing to you my audience, and symbolically to myself, "PEOPLE, THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! CONSIDER OTHER'S FAMILIES, CONSIDER OTHERS PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES, CONSIDER OTHERS FEELINGS BEFORE YOU REFERENCE A CERTAIN GROUP OF PEOPLE TO GET A LAUGH! THINK!

That includes you President Obama, but I still luv ya!

Casey's First Review

2009-03-18T16:11:00.002-05:00

Casey's been watching homemade movie reviews on You Tube and wanted to do a "review" of his own. He wrote and produced, and I was the camera woman!

What Makes You Giddy?

2009-03-16T16:13:00.005-05:00

As I drove up my driveway today, I noted a box by the side door. As I got closer, I could read the name on the outside of it, the company that I order monthly from to get Eco friendly cleaning stuff and body stuff and vitamins. I believe I mentioned the company in one of my prior postings, but I'm not even going to link you to it. When I do mention the name, or talk about how much I like this or that, people always think I'm trying to sell them something, but I'm not, and thusly, I don't want you to think that either... again, I'm not trying to sell anything.

Whenever I get these shipments, I get this little flutter in my chest, like you do when you get a present from someone who you know buys really good presents. I know what's going to be in there, I ordered the stuff. It often eludes me at that point what it is I ordered, it's usually been a little short of a week since I made my order, so it's sorta like a surprise to open. Often, I order things I've never tried, and since it's mail order only, I've only seen pictures, and never had the chance to smell or hold the item. Yet another exciting aspect, for me, to get my box from #$(!$(@#$%. It's sorta goofy that something like this can make me this giddy, but it does, and maybe that's a small part of the reason I order this stuff, other than I think it's awesome and know it works great.

My point of sharing this sorta of pathetic little tale is the idea that isn't it great in life that such little things can make us giddy, give us a little happiness and/or excitement in such a bursty fun way that it can really give you something to look forward to. For me it's little things, like getting this box once a month. It can also be something so small as getting my favorite Fage Greek yogurt with honey on the side at Trader Joe's and knowing it's in the frig, waiting for me later that night. It's buying a new thing of eyeshadow and trying it out. It can be knowing I need to go to PetSmart to load up on cat and fish supplies and having an excuse to go over and visit the homeless kitties. Just silly little things that perk up my spirit.

And really, in this day and age of watching one's budget, not taking trips very often, not really going out on big shopping sprees, or eating out as much as we used to, it's nice to have little things to bring out that feeling of giddiness.

Now, you're probably thinking, "Uh, what about Casey's awesome time at school? Doesn't that make you giddy?". Of course, something like that makes me ecstatic! Anything with Casey doing well or progessing is a blessing from above! But the little things I speak of are strictly for me, my little joys in life and no one elses, my special little treats!

So, what makes you giddy?

PS: although the woman in the picture above is looking excited and GIDDY, it's not me!~

Just a Bunch of Stuff

2009-03-12T19:11:00.008-05:00

Wow, I got a whole hour to myself! So what do I do?

Do I change the sheets on all the beds (all 2) which really should be changed?

Do I workout my big fat butt that really needs to be worked out?

Do I map out my work for tomorrow as I navigate the mean streets of Detroit, checking out new stores to call on for my boss, who chose to stay off the mean streets of Detroit herself?

Do I make some spaghetti and fake meatballs and blog?

YES! That's what I am going to do, and still maybe have time change the sheets. The rest can go to hell!

Where should I start? I suppose the latest on Casey and his school situation would be my best bet, considering this blog is about him primarily.

So, he's doing great. We have the whole day back to a routine that is working for him. We get continuous great reports from his loving teacher, and he is just a joy to be around (for the most part). You can tell his anxiety level has dropped profusely since getting back to his original classroom and out of a room that expected him to be just like all the kids.

His teacher and we have both noticed a lot more speech, conversational speech, coming out of him. He initiates a lot of conversations, which is always awesome.

The mornings are a breeze. No more mystery sicknesses, no more not getting out of bed, no more arguments. He actually bounces around in the morning, eats great breakfasts, and is extremely cooperative. It's amazing what a few changes at school can do for a boy.

I recently went to Chicago for a 3 day meeting. My mommy came and stayed to help Bill out with being there when Casey got home from school and what not. Bill actually loves for her to come because she is a cleaning addict and feels she needs to be doing so at all times, in between watching various reality shows and Dr. Phil. I joked to Bill that really the only difference of having her here instead of me is the clean factor (oh, and the whole sex thing can creep it's sick joking little head in there, but we'll let that go!!!)

I got to hang out with her a bit more when I got back and then Case and I took her back to Indy over the weekend. It was fun visiting with the chicks in the family, including my lovely neices, who are usually pretty busy! And we dyed my hair, on the recommendation of my neice and sister who are way hipper than I, and got it back to it's actual brunette tone. It's still taking some getting used to coming from a drab washed out light brown/dark blond, but it's growing on me. No, I will not include a photo.

Disturbingly, our basement is flooding right now. No standing water (yet) but just water flowing into whatever drain it can reach, drenching part of our carpet, forcing us to wear rubbery shoes each time we go do laundry. We had to use various workout equipment pieces to build a 'bridge' for the kitties to reach the litter boxes so they don't have to slosh through the wet carpet. It sucks, but I am trying to tell myself much worse things could be occurring.

Billy's 45th b-day is this weekend so a lovely dinner with our family has been planned. Should be fun! I still hate that he's 5 years older than I and looks younger. Oh well.

And that's about it! I kinda feel like I just produced one of those nerdy Christmas letters people send out with their cards each year. Around here, we enjoy having Bill do dramatic readings of such letters, much to my amusement. Everything is always wrapped up in a pretty little package in them, and those who wrote them always seems to have it just a little better than we do! I hope you don't come away with that same feeling after reading this...I mean we can't all have a flooding basements and old husbands!

I gotta go strain my sgetti....

What is Wrong with Me?

2009-03-05T12:23:00.004-06:00

Gosh it seems like forever since I last blogged, and gosh, it seems like I start out most of my blogs in this very fashion! What is my deal? Okay, I have been in Chicago for the last 3 days for a stupid meeting all about the stupid field I'm in. I really didn't seek out computer access while there, and not having it readily available (unless I paid out 6.95 on my credit card for who knows how long on in the hotels media center), became somewhat of a respite for me.

I really find myself to be a self made slave to the computer. My job has me out in the field for most of the day, so I don't have one where I am at the computer all day. So, before I even feed my hungry critters (Casey not included in this group, he's usually still snoozing), I hop on and check email, check Facebook, check my work email, check PerezHilton.com.
Then, while Casey and I are having breakfast, I go through them again. I'll shoot off a funny "wall" comment on Facebook, reply to something my boss sent a general email about, check to see if someone commented my blog.

I'm off to school and work, and then I get home about 15 minutes before Casey's bus, and what do I do? I get on and check all the aforementioned again. Wow, it's been 7 hours, and nothing new! Imagine!

Casey gets home, hops on the computer. It's his down time okay! Sue me. Suddenly he runs into the toilet, and I quietly rush over and start to check Facebook, someone has to have commented on my status by now, 'cause it's funny right?....."Mommy's on the computer!" shouts Casey as he's furiously pulling up his pants running from the bathroom, not flushing. Nobody commented on my status, and I got an email from Kmart.com about their latest sales....yawn.

I finally kick Casey off to persue other interests (ie Pee Wee videos, and Pee Wee videos, and oh, Pee Wee videos). I hop on once again to see all the activity that has occured in the 45 minutes since I last checked. Ha ha oh look, Rebecca commented on my status...oh look, someone sent me a green beer for St. Pats Day. Send one back? Ignore....Casey's teacher just emailed to say he had a good day. Well, that was worth stopping and checking for at least. No one has commented on my blog. Maybe because I haven't been on it for about a week. Go figure.

Yes, I am pathetic. I will say that I actually canceled my Facebook account for almost a whole week! Yes, I know, what a sacrifice. I know. I have to confess though that I did get on Bill's account, just to see if anyone commented on my sudden disappearance. There was a mild wave of curiosity, but I don't think anyone particularly cared. But, just as my dear friend predicted, I was back in less than a week! I couldn't stand it. But I have to ask, what was it that I was missing?

Is it a feeling of being connected to others? Is it being part of something that everyone else is? What is it that makes one feel that they have to constantly be checking for recognition? What I ask you, makes me give a rat's ass if someone reads my blog? I swore I was writing it for myself! It's crazy!

And so, I sit here now, writing this entry, which is pretty self deprecating and a little embarrassing. I'm guessing though very relatable? Right?.....perhaps you'd like to comment?.....I'll be checking later.....

DJ Kirby Inspired Me Today!

2009-02-28T07:25:00.007-06:00

Ah poor Casey! I wish there was a special school for Autie and Aspie kids to go to so they could interact in their own ways. I know I sure wish I could have gone to one as a child. This mainstream schooling is nonsense. xo-comment from DJ Kirby

Thank you Ms. DJ Kirby! Her comment really made me think this morning when I read it. She left it on my last entry concerning Casey's problems and impending solutions to said problems. Her comment really puts things in perspective for me. I actually feel better about "going backward" so to speak, and it sorta wipes away my feelings that we failed in this whole endeavor. Again, thanks!!

I got two calls from the special ed. administrator yesterday, concerning their ideas on how to work with Casey's schedule to allow him to go back in to the AI room (Autistically Impaired-ugh, really need a better title) permanently, but still allow him some times during the week in which he could be with the other class during periods where he did well with them (ie, gym). Long story short, I really approved of all their ideas and it appears a successul plan is underway. (She says letting out a sigh of relief.) I made a huge point of saying he no longer goes by that stupid discipline plan when he's with the other class, and he will never again lose lunch and recess with friends. The administrator heartily agreed.

Yesterday was his first day back to the norm somewhat. He came home a happy camper, and I recieved an email from his teacher titled "Woo Hoo!":

Hi Bonnie,

Just wanted you to know Casey had an awesome day all day and completely deserves the computer at home. He was happy all day long, focused, worked hard, a bit hyper verbally, but not in a stressed way, just excited way. We had Brain Gym with Mr. Z. today who is bald and Casey said to him, "Well, I guess you don't have to brush your hair!" He took it very well and it was fun.

This morning I was walking in the hall after talking with Casey about how he would be in our room all the time now except for Gym and I said to him in the hall that I was so glad he was in school today. He said, ever so softly, "Me too, Mrs. M.. It makes me feel very special." My heart!!! Totally made my weekend.

Hope you have a great weekend and a good trip. Take care,
J.

Ahhhhh, something good for a change. Dare I say things may be looking up?! I am sure there will be more to report......

Back to DJ Kirby's comment for a minute. For awhile, I was really into the whole concept of inclusion, mainstreaming, etc.. He did it last year somewhat successfully, however you define that. But this year, when he started going to Social Studies and Science, the work was extremely difficult. He was sent home study guides that he basically memorized with no real concept of what he was memorizing. From all reports, the classes had become mostly lecture, and note taking oriented, which his para did for him since he was usually just trying to keep it together to behave properly.

The kids in that classroom never contacted us to have Casey come to a birthday party, or a slumber party, last year either. Granted, he wasn't a fixture in the classroom all day. And I doubt if I had him fully included he would have been either, probably spending a great deal of his day in a resource room.

But, say what you will about his AI classroom. Sure, the kids aren't overly verbal and there are only three. They usually are in their own world somewhat, but in some ways, I believe there is a commonality among kids with Autism, just as there is with children who love hockey, or kids who love Legos. I have to wonder, especially as they get older, that despite all their overt lack of social skills and social resiprocity, if they might find comfort in being with like beings, as DJ said in her comment?

Of course kids with Autism need to be exposed to children who speak and interact, and who behave somewhat properly. However, I don't think sitting in a classroom hearing a teacher spout off information that you're barely taking in is any kind of good social situation, especially when there are 30 kids around you. You have major sensory issues, and these 30 people whose faces you may not even really "see"are whispering, cracking their knuckles, tapping their pens on their desks, coughing, the flourescent lights are buzzing, a fan maybe blowing. And all this may be magnified 100 x's over, depending upon your sensory issue or issues. SENSORY OVERLOAD! No, this can't possibly be beneficial for most kids with Autism, in my opinion.

Bring one or two "typies" into a smaller room, set up social situations. Allow them to play a game, to practice proper social interaction, take turns reading, etc. This is hopefully what's going to happen for Casey and his fellow AI classmates.

And in the meantime, allow them to do their work, to learn what they can learn, the way they can learn it in a small room, with a few kids like themselves, somewhat on the same behavior and developemental level, with staff who knows about Autism. Let them learn at their own pace, and in ways that are of interest to them, not the general populous.

Sorry this is so long but I feel strongly about all this. In a perfect world it could all make sense I think. In a perfect world.......

Another Journey has Ended...Thank God!

2009-02-27T08:15:00.002-06:00

So it's been quite awhile since I've blogged. It's been a busy and weird, somewhat irritating and difficult couple of weeks, Caseywise.

The whole trial and error period of his going into the different classroom part of the day turned into, after extensive conversation and brainstorming in a meeting with the staff, his being able to chose whose room he wanted to be in a certain points of the day. Sometimes, he couldn't choose, because he had to go to Specials (gym, art, etc.) with the new class. What came out of this was that he basically chose to be with his original class when ever he had the choice!

When choosing became an option, his anxiety didn't seem to go down, his faking sickness to go home hadn't stopped, and his overall snotty demeanor continued. Finally, after a few episodes of breaking into tears, he explained in his way that he hated the new kids. I'm thinking the kids in his newer class situation. Come to find out at yet another meeting, they have a new student in his original classroom, who, apparently, is quite verbal, and is giving Casey a run for his money in the argumentative department.

This new kid likes to set Casey straight on what year it really is when Casey wants to pretend it's 2007. This other boy vehemently denounces Casey's fantasy with facts and that has caused quite a bit of upset in his original comfy enviorment. Oh good, more stress on the child!

His teacher thinks this could be a good thing in terms of bringing out more conversation and interaction, but so far, most exchanges between the boys have been less than friendly.

Anyway, on top of this, he consistently gets in trouble in the new classroom, episode after episode of trouble. According to one report, after being told to stand by a parapro, Casey came at her, hands out as if to hit or scratch. They reported that he said he was going to hit her. I had to wonder, was this after you asked "Casey, were you going to hit Mrs. D.?". Hhhmm, sounds like a good idea ,"Yes" he had answered. But was he really? Doesn't sound like our boy, and if indeed he was, why is he suddenly being so physical when he never was before?

To follow this little joyous occasion up, he lost lunch and recess with his "friends" for 3 days as a result. Wow, isn't that a great idea for a punishment for a kid who literally is dying for social interaction!? Even if he doesn't want it or care about it? Ugh....HE needs it!

The next day, he got in trouble once again when he shouted "stupid asshole" at the same parapro who he seemingly came at the day before! Oh, and she was the same one too who he had scratched a few weeks ago. Coincidence? By the way, we are not taking responsibility for the "stupid asshole" comment as I have never called Bill that. I've called him other things, but that is a Casey D. original!

And so, long story long, it was decided that all this is not working, they aren't working with us, they aren't going to work with us, Casey needs consistency and to be able to get back into working on IEP goals. Most importantly, the kids needs to be worked with properly, and he needs to be around professionals who know how to do so.

As of today I hope, he will not have to make any choices, and will have a nice consistent day of work, and play, and arguments with new kid. I guess he has to have a little stress, right?

(PS: if there are grammatical errors or just nonsensical sentences in this blog, please forgive me, I don't have time to edit right now)

Confessions of a Valentines Whore

2009-02-14T18:23:00.004-06:00

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!

I hope your V-day is all you hoped it would be and more! Personally speaking, I have to laugh at how my expectations about Valentines Day have changed over the years.

For some reason, when I was in my teens and early twenties, Valentines was extremely important to me. Sadly, I never had a boyfriend until I was 18, and even then he was a bit of prick who never really bought me anything for Valentines.

In highschool, they had this little deal where you could buy Valentines hearts, address them to friends and then at the end of the day, they would be delivered. I recall begging some guys, in a coy way, who were my friends, to buy me one. My girlfriends and I of course always bought eachother one so we were guaranteed something being delivered. I remember watching as the stereotypical pretty, popular girls got their pile of Valentines hearts and I would get like 3, from my two best friends and some guy that took pity.

In my early twenties, I worked at a grocery store, and if memory serves me right, I actually begged (there's that word again), or actually hinted profusely to all the guys I worked with that it sure would be fun to get flowers on Valentines, even though I had no interest in them. My friend at the time, who I suspected was gay, came through with a haggard bouquet of red carnations...awwww.

I dated a guy for awhile who was fun but who I was really not overly attracted to. He was smitten with me (who knows why, I don't even think I put out, sorry, had to say it) and a few days before Valentines offered me a proposition. If I would commit and be his girlfriend, he would show me a Valentines like I had never known. Roses, jewelery, candy, and dinner out had been promised. Being the Valentine whore that I was, I actually considered it, thinking I could break up after the festivities, before I was expected to put out. But my conscience got the better of me and I declined.....my Mom still see this guy working at the same grocery chain we worked at together all those many years ago. Weird. Nice guy though.

And so I married the lovely Bill, who has come through for many years on Valentines, always surprising me with a lovely flower arrangement and sweet card. For some reason, I'm always surprised and delighted.

This year, he's sick. He wasn't out and about to do what he usually does on Valentines, and I don't care. I put a kibosh on flowers considering our newest addition, the kitten from hell, who would have his way with a bouquet quicker than flies on s&*#. Casey missed his Valentines parties at school due to a big bad case of diarrhea, so that was a bummer for him.

To make up for all of this, I ordered Case and I the "love pizzas" from Papa Romanos and got Bill a special pint of Ben n' Jerry's since that is one of the few festive things that sound good to him. I know, we are serious partyers and we need to settle down, but we know how to celebrate!

When I got home from picking up these items, there on the counter was a card from my boys. I was again surprised and delighted....at this point in my life, it doesn't get much better than this.

I Hate You Tube!

2009-02-13T13:03:00.004-06:00

I do, I hate You Tube....Do you want to know why I hate You Tube? Well, I'll tell ya! I hate You Tube because if it weren't for You Tube, Casey wouldn't have been standing with me at the checkout desk at the library, the quiet library, and he wouldn't have said "Welcome to the wonderful world of playing with yourself!" in a very loud announcer like voice.

The friendly librarian feigned not hearing him and proceeded quicker than before the comment was made to get us checked out. I was, well, appalled.

I know that You Tube in and of itself can be fun and cool. I personally have found some great stuff on there. How often are we emailed a funny YouTube video that we proceed to check out? Sometimes it can be educational. I found several very interesting videos posted when I was trying the gf/cf diet oh so many years ago. YouTube has it's positives, especially for it's entertainment value if nothing else.

I still hate it because Casey is addicted to it. I know, scream at your computer "Well then don't let him watch it you idiot!", I hear ya, I know! I know. But sometimes he gets on there when I don't know, or he'll be innocently checking out the multitudes of bits and pieces of kids videos or old commercials when something just really gross will pop up before you know it!

Case in point, he loves Pee Wee Herman as I have reported in past posts. So, for some reason, someone felt the need to post snippets of the Pee Wee's Playhouse on YouTube. I don't understand one's need to this, but, it makes Casey happy, despite the fact that he has most of the videos of Pee Wee's Playhouse. This is what he has chosen to watch as of late, innocent enough.

But, suddenly, I"ll hear "the laugh". It's hard to explain but it's just this little laugh he does when something isn't quite appropriate for him to watch. It's a bit evil in tone, but oddly, loud enough, and different enough for us to know he's watching something he shouldn't, as though he wants us to catch him in the act.

"The laugh" made itself heard recently and I immediately ran over to see what was so "funny". A few minutes before, it had been Pee Wee, but now, it was a video of Howard Stern, the gross shock jock, doing his own version of Pee Wee's Playhouse, called "Pee Wee's Play with Myself House". As if this isn't inappropriate enough, Stern is dressed like Pee Wee, and is acting like he's masturbating under a blanket along with a bunch of other guys dressed like some of the characters from the real show. Needless to say, it was really disgusting, and creepy, and not funny AT ALL, especially for a 10 year old to see.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a humorless person, I crack up at all kinds of stuff, dirty, bawdy, inappropriate sometimes. But why is it funny to take a children's show and make it into something like this. Worse yet, why should it be connected to a line of video snippets that a child might me checking out? Why can't YouTube either block things in some manner or perhaps have a separate website that you have to pay for to see really adult stuff? They know kids are on there. I don't care what kind of warnings they give. Why can't there be some filter?

So, I am pretty sure that is where today's comment in the library came from. It just makes me sad. I love that he is so innocent in so many ways still, but already, his little brain is aware of something like that, and even worse, that it can be construed as funny or shocking, which is why I think he said that today, just to get a reaction. I don't know how much he knows about anything, but if he's going to learn, I certainly don't want to be from watching Howard Stern fake masturbating.

I guess the filter I mentioned before will just have to be me. Me not letting him watch You Tube!

I got Duped...I think!

2009-02-10T15:35:00.007-06:00

Casey's teacher called around 2:30 this afternoon to report that Casey was complaining of a stomach ache. She explained that he hadn't really complained much all day until they were coming home from a field trip, and when he had to go to the other class, that he hates.

The she told me that he said he didn't want to ride the bus home and have to wait for the other 4 kids to get off before him. She also reported that he had had a healthy bowel movement at school (good to know!) There has been, she reported, some bug going around, so maybe that could be it but he did seem fine most of the day.

So, being a good mom, despite the fact that nothing had really been proven, and despite that he only had one hour to go, I got my work done toot suite and got on the road.

As I rounded the corner to the hall leading to his classroom, I could hear him before I could see him saying "OK "blank" upper elementary school ( I'm hiding the name of the school to protect the innocent), I'm going but I'll see ya later! This is the end of the Casey show at "blank" upper elementary!". Wow, he sounded so sick!

His parapro looked at me and said "He seems fine now!". Great.

I hauled his little ass to the grocery and he picked up a Butterfinger, always good for an upset stomach. I got him some ginger ale, just in case he wasn't really feeling good, but I really had my doubts.

In the car home, I asked him if he felt OK and he said he didn't have a tummy ache but a cough, followed by a fakey hacking cough sound.

I believe he fooled his teacher and me.

Duh, really?

I have to wonder though about the bus issue. He is the closest to school so he's the last to get dropped off, so maybe it seems like a long ride, but I'm surprised he'd go to such extremes to avoid the ride, let alone put so much thought into getting out of it.

Somehow, the stripes seem appropriate!

Happy Reunion

2009-02-07T19:20:00.007-06:00

Just when I start to think Casey's drive to have a friend has severely diminished, a simple trip to the pool puts my fears to rest.
We went to the pool last night while Dad worked out, me praying that the kid talked about here wouldn't be there and we would be able to swim with no one bugging us.
When we walked in I noted a child that looked familiar and realized it was the brother of a boy who Casey had formed a friendship with at his old school. I suddenly became aware of his parents and finally the boy himself all hanging out in the pool.
I have to confess, I'm a bitch. I had issues with the mom of this kid somewhat, our personalities collided a bit, and I'll admit it, I let Casey's friendship with this boy fizzle because I was selfish. I didn't want to have to deal with her, and so I chose to forgo Casey having a friend so I didn't have to feign pleasantries. Yes, in this case I suck.
I struck up a conversation with the boy's parents and Casey found his old friend almost right away. It was actually very nice to talk to them, and with their son being a year younger than Casey, the conversation revolved around the school Casey is at now, which is where their son will be attending next year. All the while, we scanned the pool, they for their little one, Autistic, and the boy who was Casey's friend, also Autistic, and me looking for Casey, mainly to make sure his trunks weren't falling down or that he wasn't splashing someone inadvertently.
Suddenly we noticed that Casey and M.(I will call the friend this because I'm not real sure if his mom would care if I used his real name or not.) were off in the corner of the pool really, well, hanging out together! M. is quite a busy guy, being afraid of nothing, and was sorta jumping in with daredevil preciseness backwards, sideways, anyways, all the while Casey giggling and egging him on. Then Casey decided to jump in too, something he hasn't done in a long while. Later they were wrestling like two little typical guys, acting the fool and splashing anyone in their way. They were having a great time.
The interaction was sorta new, having been more of a parallel play back in the early days, and it was exciting and fun to watch. I was thrilled.
Miraculously, Casey even almost went down the water slide with M., but chickened out at the last minute, but he followed him up the stairs, and then realized that he is scared to death of the slide and made his way down. Perhaps their next meeting? Who knows?
M. is about Casey's "level" developmentally, not quite as talkative, but a really good boy. They even look at little alike. His birthday parties had been one of the few that Casey had ever been invited to, he was one of the few kids Casey ever talked about. I had ruined all this for him because I was a wench. I guess I was given a second chance last night, and watching their interaction made me realize that my comfort level with his mom was so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. I was grateful I was given a chance to let him have his friend again......
And so today, I had planned on taking Casey to a local concert, and picked up the phone and invited M.. His mom was elated as she had a lot to do and was worried that M. would be bored. Casey and M. had a great time singing Veggie tale tunes together in the car, dancing at the concert, playing in the play land at McDonald's. I basked in the glory of watching our boy be interested in another kid, and that kid in him. M. is coming over Thursday for a play date.
A little bit of normalcy can go such a long way.

The Week in Review

2009-02-06T07:54:00.004-06:00

Well let's see, each day this week had some sort of marked event but I have to confess I truly try to put them out of my mind. Some that stand out were my meeting with the teachers Monday morning, Casey getting written up for scratching a parapro, and oh, the in school suspension on Wednesday for hitting a kid on the arm. No big deal right?

The meeting Monday was a bit of a cluster fuck. Excuse my language but it's my blog! And it was a cluster fuck. It went on for over an hour and a half with 2 teachers, a parapro for part of the time, and the administrator for special ed. Keep in mind, this was all prior to Casey's juvenile delinquent like behavior the rest of the week (oh, wait the scratching incident was happening while the meeting was in progress..ha ha...sorry). Long story short, after discussing the issues, we decided that for a couple of weeks they would give him the option of choosing what classroom he wanted to go into, his old or new one, and at what points he did it. This way, they believe they can feel out where and when he's most comfortable and if he chooses one over the other, then that is where he might have to stay....do you see why I called it a "cluster fuck" now? I just sat and listened and nodded and watched as the two teachers involved feverishly looked over their colliding schedules and went back and forth and did a lot of "what ifs" and "that's not going to work for me at". Whatever. I am looking at it this way. Neither class is perfect for him, so if he gets to choose where he is, and he's getting his work done, and is happy and not getting written up every five minutes, than so be it. And it's only for a couple of weeks. So that's that.

So, the scratching incident. I guess he was getting his computer time reward (geeze) and when he was told to get off (and boy howdy, there was a frickin novel explaining their steps of doing this-way to cover your asses ladies!) he didn't, got warned again, and when the parapro finally tried to grab the mouse, he scratched her! Broke the skin too! I gotta cut his nails....but I digress. Seriously, it was bad, but boy, I tell ya, I get this kid off the computer all the time and never get scratched. I know he was wrong for the most part, but I just have to ask what were they doing wrong? There was something, a step, not being taken to set him up for success.

Keeping in the physical brutality vein, his smacking the kid's arm was yet another situation where I have to say, what was done wrong? Apparently his "peers" in his new class have taken it upon themselves, as I learned in the cluster fuck meeting, to do a little discipline of their own, friendly discipline mind you, with a wink and a nudge apparently, as was reported by the new teacher. She seemed to think this was a good thing but finally admitted that the kids do "shush" him a lot with their little innocent fingers pushed to the lips. So, a kid did this to him, and I guess he slapped him on the arm! First off, when I was in school, no one disciplined me but the teacher, and had another kid told me to "shush" I think I would have been mortified (my much ballsier sister Sue would have slugged them too, and she is not Autistic, we think, hee hee). I don't know that having fellow students being allowed to offer friendly discipline is a great idea, especially for their own safety. He got reprimanded for the slap at school, and that was that.

He finally told me the night of the slapping incident, out of the blue, "I don't want anymore office referrals!". I guess that's what they call their stupid punishment system. I lectured him a little, feeling secretly proud that perhaps all this was having some impact.

I go back to my view on the whole thing, they aren't setting him up for success. I tried to offer suggestions. And yet, they continue. I have to wonder, who really is the one in need of some disciplinary action? Don't get me wrong, I know he's not an angel, but I know his potential. I know, in the immortal words of his preschool teacher, "he can rise to any occasion". They're just not helping him do that!

On the bright side, he got a haircut the other night and he was awesome and now at leastlooks like an angel!
Does this look like the face of a juvenile delinquent? I ask ya, does it?

Please....Read his blog.....

2009-02-04T06:52:00.001-06:00

http://billtheblog.blogspot.com/

Please read it, and please comment, he's losing confidence in the world of bloggy friends!

School, Weather, Friends and All that that Entails

2009-01-31T10:04:00.005-06:00

I have been really bad about not keeping up on my blog. I have to confess sometimes, I get so tired of thinking about "AUTISM". I told my sister just yesterday that I am beginning to think it would be much easier to just consider Casey excessively quirky and go from there.

This whole past week was sort of a debacle at school, shouting, yelling that he farted, yelling in the bathroom, fighting me to go, and then, ultimately, getting sick Friday morning. Gee, could there have been some connection? Perhaps he didn't feel good all week?

On top of school issues, the weather has been sucky at best, cold and snowy, hard to drive in in my stupid Chevy Cobalt. But, since I have to drive for my job, I don't have much choice. Constantly telling myself "You're lucky to have a job! You're lucky to have a job!", I wallowed in self pity a little less but still did despite my attempts at "glass half full"ness.

It's always hard when your kid is sick too. I had to take a sick day (this early in the year) and worse than that, he was vomiting throughout the morning. Oddly by 11am, he was asking for computer and Jalapeno Cheddar Cheetos! A quick recovery I would say, and for a moment I had to wonder if the vomiting and the sick stuff was an act, but knowing Casey doesn't quite get the fine art of "faking" yet, I suppose all the vitamins I pump into him might have put him on the mend. Oh well, it was a good excuse to hang out with him for the day, give him a break from the torture that is school, and get my laundry caught up, and I didn't have to drive!

We've had a bit of a "friend" issue as of late. I might have mentioned it in a past post but don't have the mental energy to try to reference it here, a little boy at our pool has taken a liking to Casey and wants to constantly come over to our house or have Casey come to his, which ain't happenin'! I have had to cancel out on him twice now, and I had good reasons, but I think subconsciously, I know Case has no interest in him, not because Case is Autistic, he just has no interest in this particular boy. In the past, he has had other kids that he gets interested in, and somewhat connects and I know he has it in him. But to force a friendship doesn't seem productive to me, especially considering this kid who is very controlling, argumentative, and well, I'll say it, a little bratty.

So, I envision him coming over, Casey running off to do something he WANTS to do, and this kid following me around asking questions and wanting me to play with him. NO, I'm not doing it. Why then, do I struggle with all this when I know it will be a bad situation to have him over? I guess I just want Casey to have a friend so bad, I sometimes feel like I settle for things and it never becomes anything, and this might be that very kind of situation.

Coincidentally, I watched my good friends boys the other night, one of them being Autistic and being on the same level as Case but of course having completely different, awesome attributes, and her younger being just one of the sweetest little guys I know and they all hung out. They just played around each other, and although Case didn't make a huge effort to play with either one or they him, there was parallel play, and sort of an unspoken kinship. It was fun, and I probably should have them over again, real soon.

Isn't it funny how sometimes something that you're seeking is right there in your lap but your too busy looking for it to notice!

Ugh.....

2009-01-23T06:11:00.002-06:00

As reported here, point sheets and intense smelling of others has been cause for much ado in Casey's new classroom. Yesterday, this was no less of an issue. Ugh... I looked at his point sheet promptly after he got home to find 2 forms stapled to them. Long story long, it was reported that he "kissed" a boy that he considers a good friend out on the playground. This boy is a friend he knows from regular ed and I have always been happy that the kid gives him the time of day.

I honestly can't imagine the whole scenario as it was explained but I think at recess Case leaned over, and did his overtly close sniff thing to this boy, the boy freaked thinking Casey was kissing him, others saw, a parapro saw and hell ensued! Egads.....So I guess they took him to the office and had a time out. There it is.

It was a bit sad when I questioned him about the whole incident, unphased by his actions but oh so phased by the schools reaction! I think he was told he was in trouble for trying to kiss his friend so much, that he couldn't even relay to me that he was sniffing him. He doesn't just kiss people, HE SMELLS THEM!

He didn't seem overly upset about the whole thing. I am hoping he got something out of the whole broo ha ha, clearly he didn't from his last incident.

I don't mean to sound so easy going about the whole thing, but I have found if I freak over everything that happens at school, I would be freakin' a lot, and I do that enough at home, work, etc. I figure as long as he isn't being physcially tortured, mentally bruised, and no tears have fallen, let them handle it! Yeah, I suck.....

Wiis, Miis, and Creativity!

2009-01-19T20:40:00.005-06:00

We got a Wii over the weekend, finally. We had promised Casey one for Christmas and then, stupidly, tried to find one a week before Christmas, and of course, no one had one. He's been bugging us ever since. I finally tracked one down at Toys R' Us Friday night and literally raced to get it.

Case was excited, but Bill and I ended up playing with it more that night than him. He really wanted his game Big Brain Academy that his Aunt Sue had got him to play in Indy. She promised she would send it, but it hasn't arrived yet.

Saturday, he seemed to have very little interest in the Wii despite our repeated attempts at getting him to play, and ultimately, playing eachother while Casey sought out other activity (not activities, activity, computer). Since we got it the night before, all he showed interest in doing was creating Miis, your little namesake person that you use to play the games.

So in the interest of getting him off the computer, and getting him interested in his new gift sans the game he wants to play most, I told him to create some more Miis for the little area where the Mii gather. It looked a bit lonely with just Bill, Casey and Me. He actually thought this was a cool idea and proceeded to do so.

Today, he hopped on and started in his Mii creations again. I looked at the ones he had made, aimlessly wondering around the Mii mall or whatever they call it. Most of them looked acutely similar to his orginal one, except with longer hair, or shorter or taller. Suddenly, I saw an African American female Mii strolling by. I asked Case who that Mii was, so he grabbed her with his virtual Mii grabber and the name "Reba" popped up over her head. "Reba?" I asked? "Reba the mail lady on Pee Wee's Playhouse!" he replied matter of factly. I couldn't help but crack up, not only does he like creating Miis, but he had to create ones from shows he likes! What a clever little boy. We shared a laugh together as he put Reba back down with her Mii friends.

A Silly Thought that Lead to My Evilness....

2009-01-16T10:32:00.006-06:00

I sat in awe yesterday as I watched the news coverage of the plane that landed in the Hudson River yesterday! To tell the truth, I think I was more in awe of the fact that something like this ended so well more than the pilot's skill, how it landed, etc.. It's seems in this day and age, the news is always, well, bad. Just bad, bad news. The war in the Gaza Strip, the finding of the remains of that poor little girl in Florida whose weird mother might have killed her, the horrible cold snap that is really debilitating large parts of the country. The list goes on. But there I was, watching a "Special Report" the even interrupted the great Oprah, reporting the fabulous news that 155 people had lived through landing in a freezing cold body of water and lived to tell the story! Awesomeness!

So, at this point, the silly thought I mentioned in the title suddenly invaded my mind. I had just been to a presentation on Brain Gym the night before, which is based on a lot on good energy, and how if you present good energy to a child or those around you, it will come back to you. Well, (and let me preface my statements right now by saying, if you hate Obama, or you're gonna hate me for being positive about him, or just hearing about him in a positive light in general, x out now), perhaps the excited energy coming from the population due to Obama's upcoming inauguration sorta flowed to that plane, to that situation, and thus, the safe landing.

Yes, I know that's silly, that's why I said a" silly thought", Silly! But it would be nice to think that if we could all produce that much positive energy, horrible things, like plane crashes, could be diverted. Murderers would feel the wave of what I picture as rainbows emulating from our bodies and think "Bad idea!", our enegry waves would combine and push the cold out, our energy waves would make companies let go of one over paid white collar nerd to allow 3 blue collar hard working folk to hang on to their jobs. Ah, one has to wonder what the power of positive energy could do if millions had it.

I brought up the whole Obama thing because that's something I can personally say is causing me to emit a lot of positive energy, it's very exciting. It makes me feel like I feel when I put a fresh coat of paint on the wall and everything is fresh and new and the old is covered and forgotten. And thus, this Obama Energy is what lead to my evilness alluded to in my title!

A great friend of mine who happens to be a staunch Republican and I were discussing the crash on the phone this morning, and I started in on my whole Obama Energy theory. I knew it wouldn't go over well as I said it, but I said it anyway just to, just to well, first express my thoughts, but also, to piss her off! Is that mean? It was just fun mean, just to get a rise out her. It did. We're still friends though! I guess that positive energy doesn't get soaked up as easy as I hoped!

2009-01-13T09:49:00.002-06:00

What a morning! After a nearly flawless morning with little to no yelling due to a pretty cooperative boy, I was off to work. My first call was at a store that is probably a good 5 miles away from home and school. I arrived, did my work, and got back in my car, ready to jaunt off to my next call. The weather this morning was pretty crappy, windy with blowing snow, and already cold temps dropping by the hour.

Suddenly my cell phone rang and the name of Casey's school popped up on the caller ID. "Shit" I thought immediately "either he's puked or hurt himself." His new teacher greeted me warmly, the conversation going something like this:

"Hello"
"Hi, is this Mrs. D@#*( ?"
"Yes"
"Hi, this is Mrs. C*&^%"
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, well, this has not been good morning!"
"No?"
"No, first off Casey complained of needing glasses. Does he wear glasses?"
"No, he doesn't."
"OK, well, he said he needed them and at one point said he needed his F*&^ing glasses!"
"Oh Jesus!" (gee, why didn't I just tell her then that I have a profuse potty mouth and she can thank me for that word usage?)
"Yeah, so he lost his morning break which he of course wasn't happy about but you know, that can't be tolerated."
"No, I understand."
"Also, we had a transformer blow out and we have no electricity or heat at this time. My classroom as you know is in the middle of the school and we have no windows so we've moved to the reading lounge." (did you have reading lounges when you were in school? I think they were called libraries?!).
"Oh wow, that's not good!"
"No, so can you come and get him?"
"Oh, are they letting the whole school out?"
"Not at this point, but,....I mean I can take him down to his other room but the teacher is sick and there's a sub."
"Well, is he sick?"
"No, but he's upset and ...."
"Okay, I'll come and get him."
In a rather much happier and perky voice "Okay, we'll be waitin' in the office!".

So there I go hauling my cookies all the way back up to school, having a thousand different emotions at that point, hating his teacher for not knowing how to deal apparently, pissed off at our choosing to make this whole class change for more reasons than I care to go into at this point, pissed that my job is such that now I have to take a valuable sick day this early in the year. I think I was most upset that it just seemed point blank that it was decided he had to be taken out. There was no dealing with him apparently. Why didn't I say more? Why didn't I say what I was thinking right then?

I pulled up to the main street the school is on to a line of cars waiting to go through an intersection with traffic lights that didn't work, and noted after make my cautious turn through it that most of the buildings were dark. Pulling up to the school, I could see children sitting in the lobby having class on the floor. I went into the office where I was met by his teacher. She apologized profusely about calling me and said she was frustrated that they weren't making an effort to dismiss the children. As we were walking, a tall shadowy figure with sound canceling earphones was coming towards us along with his parapro. His voice carried down the hallway, "Oh boy, the lights are out! This is not right! OK everybody, see you tomorrow, I'll be back tomorrow!". This line was said twice before he finally reached us. His teacher looked at me and said "Yeah, he's not dealing well with this." Clearly.

She thanked me and said she had to go as she was considering calling the rest of the parents of her class. At that point it was 63 degrees and getting colder in there, on top of the darkness. Casey continued his self regulating diatribe on seeing everyone tomorrow and how this wasn't right as we proceeded to the car. I felt a little better about the fact that he was distraught, and that she wasn't trying to just get rid of him, but probably felt that this was the best thing for him.

So, we're going to a movie later! Oh, and a friend just called, the power is back on at the school.....sigh........

Bill Does it Again!

2009-01-10T15:37:00.000-06:00

Check him out!
...and give him some comment love!

The Scent of Things

2009-01-09T21:27:00.004-06:00

As mentioned in prior posts concerning Casey's new classroom situation, they now send home daily a point sheet which details his day in terms of how many points he gets or points he gets taken away (for bad behavior). It's sorta ridiculous really, not only because the points are in groups of 500's and Casey needs a calculator at this point to add 5+9, but because points are not a big motivator for Casey. Sure, if he gets so many points, he gets computer time or he gets to go to some party they plan at the end of the week etc. So, it's not so much the points, but the reminder of what he gets if he maintains all his points that really, well, makes the point, to Casey.

While I call the system "ridiculous", for some reason, the point sheet is the first thing I pull out of his backpack each afternoon after he gets off the bus. I can't wait to see how he did and how many points he got, and also to see if they wrote any comments. Monday, he got a pretty good report, it actually said he had a really good day!

Immediately following that however, it said that there had been 2 episodes of him grabbing a para's head and his new teacher's head so he could "smell" them. This is a pretty common practice in our household. Prefaced with a "Let me love you Mommy." said in a rather sultry voice (weird I know, but it is sultry) he grabs me round the neck and pulls the side of my head to his nose and sniffs me deeply. Being the olfactory sensitive child that he is, I suppose he's soaking me in this way. He also tends to do this to other women (no, I'm not too jealous), and usually ones who he likes. I'm used to it but his unsuspecting subjects aren't. I can only imagine how well these little episodes went over at school....well enough for him to lose some of those all important points. Reportedly, they told him "No thank you" and gently pushed him away.

That sorta made me sad. I mean, I know it's inappropriate at school, and I usually try to banish this behavior out in public, especially since he his about my height and when he does it I'm pretty sure it looks really weird to any onlookers nearby. But at the same time, it's sorta sad that his senses cause him to seek out scents as a comfort, and he's told it's wrong.

People use their sense everyday for pleasure, listening to music, smelling flowers, watching a sunset, touching something silky. But, as usual Autism throws a wrench into things for Casey using his senses for his own pleasure. It kinda goes along with say, oh dancing vs. stimming. Sure, it's okay for folks to wiggle around rhythmically to music on a dance floor together. It feels good and it's fun. But a kid stimming in a mall because it feels good is suddenly cause for paparazzi like cell phone photography. I guess that's why when Casey starts stimming out in public I occasionally do it with him, there's power in numbers.

Needless to say, his loss of points at school for this "behavior" was all the punishment he got for these incidents. I explained to him why he could only do it at home to me, and he said "Let me love you Mommy.", and with his nose pressed firmly to my temple, I did.....

Not Much to Report.....

2009-01-06T14:24:00.009-06:00

Wow, back to the routine and nothing to much really to report.

Case made it to school the last couple of days with no problem other than a disorganized mother floundering around in the morning trying to get him ready after she has allowed him to sleep in much too late. I really need to get the child to bed earlier, perhaps using the old Melatonin again, although if I recall last time, he said he heard voices even worse than he usually does when he took it! I really am a loser when it comes to organizing time in the morning for him and me! Really, what makes me think that I can get up by 6:45am and get him and me out the door bathed, tooth brushed, fed and fully equipped by 8:20? I truly need to get up at 5am to get my shit together. Gee, maybe I'll try that tomorrow. I'll let ya know how that goes!

I am not sure how school in the new classroom is going for him yet, 'course he's only been back 2 days. I need to give him at least a week to get back into the swing of things I think. I did cancel our IEP scheduled for Wednesday because I still don't think he's had enough time to transition over. The director I emailed concerning my cancellation fully agreed, a total shocker, so I hope another month or so might get him into the swing of things. This I will update you on as well 10 Readers!

As for me, I really thought I would try to take off the 30 lbs I gained over Christmas with healthy eating and a strict exercise regime, but after imbibing in 3 not so "Fresco" style items at Taco Bell and what remained of a hefty box of Gobstoppers for lunch, you could say my intentions flew to the wayside for the day! Oh well, in the immortal words of Scarlett O'Hara (my hero) "Tomorrow is another day!".

My as I be so bold as to implore all of you to go and read and COMMENT on my poor hubby's newly established blog. I believe after 2 entries and 4 comments left, he's ready to give up! Quitter!

Oh, if you are familiar with Temple Grandin, the famous adult Autistic who has written many books and has a new one out, not really so much about Autism this time, then you might enjoy this interview with her from NPR. If you don't know of her, you might give it a listen. I always learn a little something whenever I hear her speak!

One more little self indulgence if you will. I thought I would post my families Christmas photo from this year! We really are handsome bunch!

Sorry it's so small, can't fix it for some reason! Ta ta for now!

My Heart Goes Out to the Travolta Family

2009-01-04T19:41:00.002-06:00

I know they will probably never read this and I'm not writing this thinking they will, but I just want to say how very sorry I am for John Travolta and his family over the loss of their son Jett. It really hit me yesterday when it was the first thing I saw on Yahoo news.

John Travolta has been in some of my favorite movies, Grease, Saturday Night Fever (and I even like Saturday Night Fever 2 for all it's cornieness). I watched "Welcome Back Kotter" as a kid and like most young ladies in the 70's, had a tremendous crush on him. From all reports he seems like a super nice guy, and given how long he and his wife have been married, you got give him credit for that too.

It wasn't until recently that while surveying various blogs that it came to my attention that rumor had it his son was Autistic. I was fascinated since it seems like most celebrities with children with Autism make it their cause celeb. I had never heard that rumor before so I started investigating. I personally never found a for sure sort of source saying it was true. There were stories on some Kawasakis Disease Jett was said to have. But no concrete evidence.

I got sorta irritated by this. Was he hiding his Autistic son? I started finding a lot of photos of the family, and perhaps I was looking for "somehthing", a "sign", but there were shots that he had the"look" in. I don't know if one just gets this ability from being around their own kid and their friends Autistic kids to pick up on this, but there is a "look" to kids with Autism that seem common among many, sort of a disconnectedness when everyone else is looking at the camera and smiling in a photo, eyes elsewhere, mouth slightly open, both expressionless. The way the hands and the body are held. I can't explain it but somehow, you can just tell. It's not a bad thing, it just is, and I know not all kids with Autism look this way in every photo or everyday, but it happens. I picked up on this in some of the photos I saw of Jett Travolta, but again, was I looking for it?

Anyway, I sorta lost my interest in the subject after that. Clearly, the family didn't want to make it public if it were true. I read today that Scientologists don't even recognize Autism as it's own condition, but as a mental illness like any other. Maybe that's why they didn't address it as such.

But when I heard the news of Jett's horrible death, my mind went right back to this thought that he could have been Autistic, and it made the news of a young mans death even that much worse. I have never ever connected Autism to any sort of threat of death due to it being a condition. Not like Leukemia or something similar. But, I know a lot of kids who have seizures due to their Autism, and apparantly, this could have been the case. Our boy has never been tested for seizures, but just the other day, my sister noted how he can gaze for long periods without blinking, something I never noticed. Could that be seizure activity?

This story is so sad and tragic no matter what was going on with Jett. I sort of hope though, that if and when they do find what caused it, they might address it to the general public and let people know if this is something that could happen to them, maybe raise public awareness. I know, a lot to ask of a family who just lost a child. I think though, that is why this particular story, despite Travolta's celebrity, has affected me. It might be hitting home in a way I never thought about or wanted to!

A Shout Out!

2009-01-02T20:48:00.003-06:00

My dear hubby has decided to start a blog! Please feel free to visit and give him an encouraging comment, please!! He keeps asking me if someone has commented on it yet! Egads.....

I'm excited about this because he writes corportate "pap" as he calls it, so it would be nice to see something a little more creative come out

Check it out here

Thanks!

By the way, don't miss my most current entry before this!

Different Place, Different Child....

2009-01-02T19:10:00.003-06:00

Case returned the other day from his big visit down in Indy with his Aunties. He had a lot of fun bowling, visiting the Children's Museum, going to movies, etc. I got great reports from both sisters on his behaviors.

I was told how sweet he was, how much affection he gave them, the laughs they had! I was glad, and I'm glad he can be away from me and "keep it together" as it were. I know a lot of kids with Autism have a really hard time with change and change in routine, but for the most part, this has never been one of Casey's issues (although he does have many). I suppose this could be attributed to the fact that we have traveled back and forth to Indiana since he was a baby, making his first trip the December after he was born.

Since then, we probably go there at least 5 to 6 times a year. He's great in the car, except for the years he was potty training, and that was more about my own anxiety that there would be an accident in the ol' car seat. Nothing really phases him, with the help of radio and a dvd player.

The one thing that bums me out a bit when he visits them, and at the same time I find so cool, is how well he does with schedules there. My sisters both make him a schedule for the day, mainly to keep him off the computer for prolonged periods of time. And, he follows them, thus the coolness. I heard several times how he was told to check his schedule and he would pick up from there and do whatever was next, making things go smoothly, and keeping him off the tv and computer for the better part of the day.

The thing that bums me out about this is that it is almost impossible for me to implement a schedule here. I really try, I will write out everything he has to do to deserve some time on the computer. For example:

1. read 3 books with Dad
2. jump 100 times on the trampoline
3. play a board game with mom
4. go swimming
5. eat lunch
6. computer time

But all I get is a fight and a grousing boy running into his bedroom to turn on his second thing in the whole world, one of his favorite videos, so he can "dub" and rewind certain parts 500 times before I have to yell at him. Don't get me wrong, I occasionally get some cooperation, but for the most part, my little creature of habit isn't having it! After he returned home and I tried a schedule, he actually told me "I don't do schedules here!". Groowwwwllll!

And I think that is the biggest obstacle I face as far as getting him to follow a schedule, being home. When he's home, it's comfort time. When he's at his Aunt's, he's out of sorts a bit, maybe looking for more guidance perhaps, and that's why a schedule works for him so well. I think it gives my sisters a certain sense of accomplishment as well, especially when he is cooperative, pleasant and fun.

So, I will bask in the satisfaction that our little guy was a joy to be around for his Aunts, and maybe even take some credit for his being so good, maybe we've done a few things right. And, I will make it a New Years Resolution to make schedules work at our house too!

A Merry Christmas and a Childless End to the Year

2008-12-29T17:15:00.002-06:00

Well, Christmas is over and we had a great time. Casey did great throughout, and despite sorta diving into computer action for comfort and familiarity, he really enjoyed Christmas with my family in Indianapolis. My sister Sue held the festivities at her beautifully decorated home (even the fish bowl had ornaments in it) and we had tons of people, food, gifts and fun. Bill and I won the Wii bowling tournament (we were good, I mean, really good!) Casey got some gifts I don't think he expected due to the fact that all he asked for was Barney and Veggietale dvds. I advised against it and my family got creative and he got some stuff I think he'll really get into.

We hung out a few more days after Christmas and then after much discussion and planning, decided spur of the moment that Casey was gonna stay with his two Aunties (who my mom said loved him more than I did, isn't she a peach?). And so, we are childless at this point.

Today is Bill's Dad Ernie's 85th birthday today, so we went over to his parents pad last night for a little birthday bash with family and friends. It was a lot of fun celebrating the 85th year of a very sharp and funny man! I can only hope Bill can follow in his footsteps! We got to see my sis in law and her hubby, and mom and dad in law of course, and Bill's brother who was worn out from babysitting our 3 cats and 11 Bettas while we were gone. Again, more food and fun was enjoyed along with some lovely champagne!

Being childless, we decided after the party to go hang out at a local bar with Don, Bill's brother, and have a few beers and some good conversation. It felt like quite a luxury not having to worry about a babysitter waiting for us.

And so, we are now going to go out and choose a new paint color for our bedroom. Bill is on vacation and has committed to painting it. I can't decide if we should do something swarthy and sexy, or something bright and optimistic. I'm leaning toward swarthy and sexy, maybe an aubergine? Anything will be better than the ugly light blue I painted it some odd 11 years ago!

We are picking Casey up on Wednesday so he can be with us on New Years Eve, and he is by the way, having a fantastic time and not sounding homesick at all! Little ingrate!

Merry Christmas to All!

2008-12-22T16:24:00.001-06:00

Casey Performs!

2008-12-17T19:24:00.002-06:00

Hey 8 readers, remember how I was all nervous and anxiety ridden over Casey's performance at the 5th grade winter concert? Well, it was all for not!

He did wonderfully! I was a little nervous at first for him because when we arrived, his teacher was there and told me that apparantly the kids who had volunteered to be his peer buddies that night (aka people to make him stay in his spot and not look like a total nerd) didn't show! Thanks guys. But, she had come only to see him perform but said she would be happy to step in. I was relieved of course and offered to do so myself. She prodded me on to go and sit down and enjoy the show, but to stay close to the area Case would be standing in the bleachers, "just in case".

Luckily, at the last minute some kid did show up to help so it worked out well. Case walked in with the other 10,000 kids in the fifth grade classes and stood where he was supposed to (they put an orange dot on the floor where he stood just to remind him where to stay).

He sang his heart out, and despite a few funky stims due to his excitement, and an attempt to stand on the bleacher in front of him, we felt like he did really well.

He sang 4 songs with the group and then sat out the rest, since some of them were done by just the chicks, and some were sung in round, and some were done with hand movements that were deemed too difficult for Casey to follow. They did this queer "concert etiquette rap" which had some not so tricky arm movements that he wasn't included in. I looked over and watched him where he sat off to the side with his "helper" and teacher, and he was singing and doing some of the same movements. I looked at the kids doing the "rap" and some of them sucked. HHhhhhhmmmmm......let it go Bon.

Anyway, we were very proud of our boy's performance, we were happy that he was up there, joining in and behaving appropriately, for the most part. His teacher beamed with pride as well. Casey was the only kid who participated from her class. That's a bit sad to me, but, that's their parents choice.

The old saying "All that worry over nothing" certainly rang true that night!

And Now, as for Casey......

2008-12-15T08:19:00.003-06:00

Geeze, too much, too much animal nonsense here on my blog about my son with Autism! I apologizefor verging from the original intention of this blog. I almost wonder if I should start a blog about all this additional crapola subject matter I seem to like to spout off about on here! I think though that oneor the other blog would get neglected. My New Years resolution, blog about Casey here 95% of the time, cats, kittens, and bettas 5%. I am sure certain individuals will see to it that I stick to that and remind profusely when I don't....DON.....REBECCA.....

Any hoot, I guess I didn't really post much about Casey last week because there wasn't much to post other than the note I recieved that first day concerning his ok day in his new classroom. Not much after that was reported, and as my sweet (and often dilusionary) hubby would say, "No news is good news!". Casey hasn't fought me on going to school, nor has he sounded off about any negativity he is feeling, so I am not sure how the whole thing is rollin' right now. Today will be another weird day because they have their big Christmas concert and each class performs today and tonight. Which brings me to a whole other subject all together.

Right now, Case has music with regular ed one day, and just the "Center" program another day. Apparantly, this is the first year the music teacher has experienced having the "special needs" (yuk) group in his room, so it really threw off his concert plans. Ahhh, poor guy....I guess he didn't realized that throwing choreography in with singing brand new songs might be a little tough for some kids who can't even talk, focus, or maintain a proper stillness for more that 5 seconds without being held in place! Hee hee...where's the prep work I say? He knew these kids were going to be in there! I don't know why I went there, irresponsible and funny at the same time. So, in short, it's been a challenge and I am really anxious to see how the whole things turns out.

Casey has really latched on to the songs they are singing and we hear them being sung all the time, which is a delight! He actually has a good little voice and a natural rhythm (neither one he gets from me). The school gave everyone a copy of the songs to practice at home and I couldn't believe the first time we listened to it together how he sang along of course and did some pretty cute little hand movements and gestures too. I think he will do fine tonight, if he can just stay in his spot. He gets really excited at being on stage, and in the past, for example at his dance recitals, he tends to steal the show with some sort of improvisational number. That's ok when he's on stage with a bunch of kids who aren't really doing the number to begin with. It's sort of a comic relief actually. But tonight would not be cool for him to hop out in front of the choir and begin his boogying down and perhaps singing to himself. I pray they have a parapro to assist. I of course will give a full report and perhaps a peek at the actual performance tomorrow. Say a little prayer Bill and I won't be crining in our seats!

Ok, so 5% of this can be about animals. Ricky, our new kitten, is doing swimmingly so far! He used the litter box, which was the main thing, and seems to be getting along ok with the old cats. I feel sorta bad for them, it's like bringing a little kid in a nursing home letting him run amuck! A few smacks and hisses have been thrown but no one is the worse for wear, so far! Ok, I'm done!

Casey and Abe

2008-12-15T08:18:00.002-06:00

I downloaded this photo thinking I was going to put it in my latest entry and it didn't work that way. Seeing as how I'm at the library, I have no idea how to fix it....so enjoy....

Meet the Newest Member of the Family.....

2008-12-13T14:46:00.001-06:00

RICKY!

Taken a Sick Day, for a Sick Cat!

2008-12-12T12:55:00.004-06:00

Hi 8 readers. Indulge me if you will. I promise I will do a weekly wrap up of Casey's first few days in the new classroom, but as you can tell lately, my writing seems to have strayed from Autism and children to animals. I shouldn't say writing, more my photo offerings have verged over to the beasty side. And today is no exception when it comes to all things animals.

As featured in my Wordless Wednesday, this is Simba.

I know, he's adorable. We have had him since we've been married. So, we know for sure that he's at least 15 years old. Not too shabby for a cat!

He is an extremely sweet and loveable cat, wanting to be where his people are, and if company is over, being with them too. Simba is dog-like in many ways because he comes when you call him, he begs for food and is a voracious eater. I simply adore him.

In the morning, he usually comes in the bathroom with me, and follows me to the kitche to insure that his wet food gets distributed properly. But, when I got up this particular morning, he was no where to be found. I went through our house to all this favorite sleeping spots, but never found him. He finally limped downstairs, and he clearly was not himself. I could just tell by his expression if you can believe it. You know how you can just look at your kid and know he's sick? Same thing.

Being about 90 in people years, I decided I best take him to the cat clinic. And in doing so, found out he's lost about 3lbs over the last 3 years, and has a heart murmur, and a oddly shaped kidney. The doc ran some diagnostics on him, he had to have his paw shaved to get his blood pressure checked, and he pee'd on his blankie. He also go intravenious fluids. He seems to be feeling much better now and begged for my sushi. We will find out what the tests show tomorrow. If you are a cat or animal in general lover, please say a little prayer that he has a few more years in him, we love him soooooo much!

While he was having his tests done on him, I started connecting to a little kitten guy in the waiting room who was waiting to be adopted. Only 6 months old or so, he was found in a taped up box by the side of the road! Yes, the side of the road. My cat obsession got the best of me and I took him out of the little cage they had him in and he purred and licked my face and loved on me and never tried to get away and I fell in love! I felt a little like I was cheating on Simba, but we've thrown around getting a new kitty, and his situation, utter cutie pieness, and social skills won me over. I filled out the adoption papers and called Bill on the way home to tell him. Unphased, he said he'd think about it. Perhaps when they send that picture of him they promised, he'll make up his mind!

Cats, gotta love 'em.

Thoroughly Thoughtless Thursday

2008-12-11T21:03:00.003-06:00

I just can't muster up the time to blog about Casey's first day right now, I need some sit down time....So, here's something cute to tide ya over....

This is Fletch, my sister Sue's baby...I mean dog. He's "sittin' pretty"!

Wordless Wednesday

2008-12-10T07:00:00.000-06:00

Poor Pee Wee....

The Plan is officially In Action

2008-12-09T09:48:00.000-06:00

So, this news is a little late in coming because I just haven't found much time to sit and really put any work into retelling this scenario. But, since I just came home to get a warmer coat while working, and all is quiet, I will take a few moments to share with my now 8 readers.
Friday I finally got to meet up with all involved in the potential transitioning of Casey over to a new class room as was recounted in an earlier post.
There was his potential new teacher, who all in all seemed optimistic and open to his being in her class. There was his old teacher who claims she adores him but seems too optimistic to get him out of her class. There was a lady who is in charge of the "Team" room where kids go for discipline and rewards (confusing I think) and who seems like, well, I'll say it, a bitch. Rounding out the group was the woman who didn't even want me to see this very program last year and gave me about 2 minutes in each classroom. She's an administrator of some kind, some muckity muck.
Oddly the meeting went smoothly. I was able to explain my concerns and worries, and they all seemed very open to working with me on these. We discussed his transition over, which everyone seemed happy about. At first, a hour or so a day was thrown out, but after light debate, it was finally agreed that it would be half a day for the next week. He would meet up with the new class in the morning and go to their room straight away and then come back to the old classroom in the afternoon. I had to giggle as the new teacher wanted the opposite, but the muckity muck changed it completely, as if to say, "I'm in charge!". Politics, I swear!

The biggest issue I had was with the discipline program they have too and how they kids track a point system all day for what they do and don't. If they keep their points, they get rewards, if they don't,well, I think they have to go to the "Team" room and hang out with the afore mentioned bitch. I won't go into why I think of her as a bitch, other than her overall demeanor, but I made it clear that I didn't want Casey in the "Team" room all the time because he isn't being set up for success. They all seemed to agree, and in all fairness, the bitch was even giving some good suggestions on things they could do in class to help him.
I felt at times that parts of this meeting had been rehearsed prior to my arrival, as if to appease me in some way. I am still in doubt as to whether they really think he can handle this or whether they just feel it's a better inclusive enviorment for him and, that way, they don't have to fiddle fart with taking him to general ed. I am a bit of a conspiracy theorist so I hopefully I'm wrong.

He was supposed to start yesterday, but his current class had a field trip scheduled for then and today and so he starts tomorrow. I have been talking it up a bit, and he has said he would like to be in the new classroom. I fear however, that when he sees what it entails, the curriculum, the lack of silly field trips, and the structure, his happy little world may be knocked upside down. Then again, he may step up to the challenge and embrace the structure, maybe more of that is what he needs. Hopefully the influence of higher functioning more verbal classmates will help too. I'm trying to be "glass-half full" person, but it's very unnatural for me, ask my husband!

I laid awake the other night thinking about the change with a pit in my tummy. This is what I wanted for him last year, and now that it might be happening, I am doubting why I wanted it in the first place. I have always been happy with him being "comfortable" and maybe a little challenged at school, but mostly, comfortable. I fear too that because he has been so comfortable for so long, a very realistic classroom setting is going to be really too hard for him to handle. I hate for him to be miserable, to be stressed, to have anxiety, as does any mom. I guess if you have a typical kid though, you can reason things out if they have a bad experience, get information from them on it. With my boy, I can't. If he's sad, he really has trouble telling us why, and if he is upset about this class it could backfire in nasty behaviour and shutting down before any sort of conversation could ensue.

BUT, back to being "glass-half full" person, this might just be the thing he needs. He may really blossom in this room, I hope so. I just want him to be happy!

Rare cute photo

2008-12-07T09:09:00.000-06:00

Natural light+natural smile =handsome boy!

Bouncin' is Fun!

2008-12-06T22:27:00.000-06:00

Anybody who has a kid with Autism and has had Occupational Therapy has probably been shown the wonders of sitting on an exercise ball for their child. We've had one for years down in our basement, although it's probably about 3 feet wide, pretty large. We've had fun over the years letting him lie on his belly over it, and while holding his feet, let him push off the floor, sorta like doing "push ups" or sitting him on top while we held him and bounced him.

But, now that he's about 5'2 and 116lbs, it's a little more difficult to do such activities! My sisters in Indiana being the work out mavens that they are both have exercise balls that are a bit smaller, and somehow he always finds them when we visit, and loves to bounce himself. It's great proprioceptive activity, and very calming, yet an energy burner at the same time.

I finally bought one for our house and it's a hit. I totally suggest one for any kid, especially when they're watching TV. He sits on one at school as well while working. Even better, it cost 10 bucks at Walmart!

Let Us Remember......

2008-12-05T06:15:00.000-06:00

GILBERT
? TO 11-05-08
MY FIRST BETTA, HE HAD CHARACTER AND SPUNK AND TRIED TO HANG IN THERE TILL THE END. BECAUSE THERE ARE NO BETTA DOCTORS, I COULDN'T DO MUCH BUT MAKE HIS LAST DAYS COMFORTABLE.

"HE WILL BE MISSED, NOW WHERE WILL YOU BE DISPOSING OF HIM?" -SIMBA, THE FAMILY CAT

Jenny McCarthy Revisited...Now I'm Annoyed!

2008-12-03T15:39:00.000-06:00

I just posted (so go read the one before this if you will please) but I was just thinking about the fact that last night I grabbed Jenny McCarthy's first book off the library shelf and sorta grazed over it. Casey was playing at the library computer, and since I already went through the various encyclopedias and reference books that I cared to on other occasions that are within reach, I got up and got a book off the wall that holds books on homeschooling, and disabilities. Jenny's book was there.

I had never really thorougly read it before, and it's the first one I'm talking about, not the new mommy warrior one (that just makes me puke for some reason). It was certainly an easy read, each chapter being about 2 or 3 pages long, some one page (I am seriously not exaggerating). I strummed through, seeing anecdotes on her son's behaviors, his seizures, her separation from her hubby (he truly didn't get it). From all accounts, the kid was a mess. I could relate to a lot of the stories, and her feelings, although I sorta hate to admit it.

After finishing and getting the general gist of the thing, I started to see why so many people found her inspiring, and helpful. She definitely gives some good information about the biomed aspect of things. A lot of it made sense. I think she's a good mom. There, I said it! I am not as anti-Jenny, as I thought I was.

I think the thing that makes me a little anti-Jenny is that the way she tells her tale is very, uhm, convincing. I mean, if I were a mom of a newly diagnosed kid with Autism, her book could possibly become a bible for me. I would run out and find a DAN doctor right away! I would try all the things she did, even though, she never really makes a point too much of saying how different kids with Autism are. I think this could be dangerous and disappointing.

Years ago, my friend and I went to several presentations on the biomend aspect of Autism given by a local dentist who had a child with Autism. This was my first experience with terms such as yeast, supplementation, gf/cf diet, mercury poisining. We of course were fascinated and drawn towards trying anything and everything for our kids. I had so much hope, much like Jenny's book dishes out. I thought I had found those magic bullets. Guess what, I never did.

In all fairness, I never followed a full fledge regimen. I started too, but got bored with giving my kid 9 vitamins everytime he ate. I tried the diet, it never worked for us. I never attempted getting rid of yeast if there was any in the first place. Chelation was out of the question. My friend, on the other hand, has followed her DAN doctor's suggestions, gone organic and dairy free, supplemented per results of testing. She's done everything right, and she is seeing results with her child, which is awesome. We've actually seen great improvements with b-12 shots in Casey. I doubt though, that either one of us will ever tell ya that our children have lost their Autism label, as Jenny's son apparantly did.

And there in lies another issue I have with her. Why is this so important to lose that label, and let everyone know about it? I don't see people scrambling to get rid of a Downs label. Heck, some people fight for an ADHD label for their kid, just so they know why they are doing so bad in school! It almost makes me suspect that in Jenny's mind, Autism is something to be ashamed of, to fight. Be that "Mommy Warrior" against.

It makes me wonder, am I in the wrong for not doing all I apparantly could? Am I wrong for not being that "Mommy Warrior" when it comes to things like chelation and ridding your child of yeast? Am I wrong for not persuing such things?

Dammit, why did I even read that book. Such simplicity making me doubt myself! Ick!

I'm Still Here!

2008-12-02T20:26:00.000-06:00

Gosh I've been so bad about blogging! LIfe has been really busy for us beginning last Wednesday and on! We had a great Thanksgiving, so nice to hang out with the family. Casey pretty much summed up our weekend when Dad asked him what we did in Indy and he answered:
"Well Daddy, on Wednesday, we had Donatos pizza! On Thursday, we had our Thanksgiving Feast! On Friday we had Mexican! On Saturday we had Italian!".....
Yes, it's true, the eating was hot and heavy all holiday long. He forgot to mention to his dad that we took him to a Christmas display at a Historical Museum, (this is that leg lamp from the movie "A Christmas Story") .And to see "The Polar Express" at the IMAX in 3-D, which I highly suggest, way cool.
He even go to celebrate his Mammaw's (family name for grandma) 72nd birthday! I tried adding a photo but Blogger won't allow it! I hate Blogger sometimes!
That's about it. I have more stuff to share but thought I would just jot down a few thoughts so as to let my 8 readers know I'm alive!

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T05:29:00.000-06:00

Hi to all my 7 or so readers! Sorry I have been very lax at blogging this week. I have a boss breathing down my neck so I really have been putting in some extra work time, which takes away from home time, and that really takes away from blogging time! I'll be blogging again, perhaps from Indy, where Casey and I are going today to celebrate the holiday with my side of the family. Bill is taking a trip to Oregon to visit his sister. We were all going to go, but the thought of dealing with Casey and his "stuff" on an airplane the day before Thanksgiving was enough to tell Bill to have fun and go on his own!

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, and if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, well, you'll be just that less fatter than me by tomorrow evening!

A New Classroom = New Worries

2008-11-20T16:52:00.000-06:00

Well, we finally got to "view" the classroom that they are considering moving Casey into. Bill and I arrived at the school about 9:30 to find a class of 10 guys and gals with 2 parapros and one teacher.

All the kids were sitting at different "stations" headed up by either a para or the teacher. They were quietly working and well-behaved. The room was very spacious since there were only 10 desks and a few station tables. Lots of informative stuff was posted on the walls (how much a coin was worth, actions that appropriate, actions that are not, calendar, schedule, etc.). After about 5 minutes of us quietly watching, and me taking notes, they all took a break. They were allowed a snack and some music was turned on, which caused a little impromptu dancing which was supported and encouraged by the staff. Others chose to go down to the "team" room to spend their break.

Then they came back and, and, and, they were just so GOOD. So well behaved. I was curious to know if the teacher might have slipped the children some sort of valium like drug before we came. There was not one meltdown, not one tantrum. Their classroom is connected to the library which was their next thing to do.

They all quietly disappeared with the paras and the teacher sat and talked with us for sometime. She asked what we thought so far, and told us somethings about how they work. It was all very pleasant and promising.

Being the conspiracy theorist I am though, I couldn't help but wonder if it was always this way, had their been some prep work? She did tell them at one point "You guys made me look so good today, you get a marble for the party jar!" whatever the hell that means.

So, you would think that I would be completely gun ho to have Casey go straight into that class if I could. But, me being the glass is half empty type that I am, really started to have my doubts about Case being in there. He has breakdowns, he is very, oh crap, I can't think, oh, impulsive. He does a lot of self talking, he doesn't listen well. I just wondered how well this could work for him.

However, I liked seeing the kids, after they returned from the library, sit next to each other and discuss the books they had gotten, sharing. I liked just in general that they talked and interacted at all. They all have different "disabilities" or issues, but somehow they all seemed to get along. I wanted to picture Casey in that setting, being successful, but I was having trouble doing so. Probably due to some scars from our first experience all those many 4 or 5 years ago when we tried to get him in a similar class and the whole thing was a disaster. But that was years ago.

There's also the issue of a discipline plan they are all on that I can't even begin to imagine Casey being able to follow and keep track of like the others do. Bill was really trying to be positive, saying he thought it was doable for him if modified a bit. I couldn't see it.

But I guess I won't know anything until he does it! We requested that he be transitioned dow to the room slowly if possible, maybe spend an hour a day, just to see how he does. The teacher there and his current teacher felt this might be workable and are going to look into it. I am praying they can make it happen, I don't want to just dump him in there after Xmas break.

So, we'll see. Something is telling me I need to have more confidence in my boy...............

Almost Wordless Wednesday (What the Hell is Wrong with Me)?

2008-11-18T22:51:00.000-06:00

This is number 13

He's a "Crowntail"....
His name is Cory....
Cory the Crowntail....

I Have a Confession to Make

2008-11-17T13:54:00.000-06:00

Bless me Father for I have sinned. It's been about oh, thirty years since my last confession....

No lie there! My Catholic upbringing has engrained in me a sense of guilt at all times. In this case however, I think my guilt is quite jusitified!

About a month ago a little brown bag came home from school with a note attached explaining that this was a science project given to the students and they would have a month to complete it. It entailed making a "car" out of the supplied items and then writing a report on it. At the time they were studying Newton's Laws of Motion.

Now, such subject matter is so above Casey right now. I always tend to think that we have Case in regular ed classes such as this particular science class, just to be around typical kids, and to learn how to be a student. And if he comes away with some knowledge, then all the better. His memorization skills are so excellent he actually does well on the written tests, because he memorizes the study guides, which don't veer too far off from the test material. But when it comes to putting the subject matter into practical use, he totally can't grasp it.

So when this project came home, and I read the instructions, I giggled a little sadly to myself, thinking, "There is no way he can do this.". Weeks went by with that stupid little bag laying on his dresser. He of course never touched it because he could read the note attached. He knew it was from school so it wasn't fun. I kept putting off even looking at the stuff.

I considered contacting his science teacher and asking her if there was a modified way to do this for him, but I didn't. I don't have an excuse, I just didn't. Towards the last couple of weeks, I considered pulling out all the stuff and encouraging him to work on it with me and see if little by little something could be accomplished (knowing full well it wouldn't happen that way either). More days passed, with the little brown bag just laying there, taunting me, reminding me of what he's not capable of doing, at least not now.

Maybe that's why I was avoiding it all together. Subconcioulsy I know he is not at a level of intelligence to figure out how to build a car. He's never even had an interest in cars, not even toy cars. He did have an interest in car dealerships and car insurance, but unfortunately, that wouldn't help him in this situation.

So, last night, the night before the project was due, I whined to Bill about it, I whined to Casey about it, I dredded even looking at the stuff inside. I finally poured the contents on the floor, which included film canisters, straws, bamboo sticks, clothes pins, rubber bands, pipe cleaners, and other asundry crap. The instructions said to use whatever you could but didn't have to use all of the items. I sat for around 45 minutes with Casey by my side, chewing on the film cansiter and straws, trying to configure a way to put stuff together to make a car that rolled. Finally I came up with this monstrosity

It rolled! I mean, it rolled. And Casey chewed on one of the film canisters. So, he was involved right?

Then came the report, rather indepth I would say. I won't go into detail but I let Casey type out the cover page with my assistance and then I typed the rest in a Casey like fashion. Bill hovered around trying to encourage me to do things more legit, saying he would explain the Laws of Motion to Case and maybe then help him write the report. "Yeah, good idea" I answered as I printed out my....Casey's report and shoved it in a plastic baggie along with my....his car. Bill is a much better person than I.

So, that's my confession. I did Casey's report basically and I made the damn car. I admit it.

Casey could not and would not have built a car. He would not have been able to! That's a fact. And the report was so detailed, I gotta tell ya, he couldn't have put much into that even with my help. But, now he had a car to take. I think they were going to have a race with their cars, and he would be able to participate. He had a report, and if he had to read it aloud, he had something to read aloud, and he might even understand it a little. Because of these facts, I feel justified in my deception.

I learned a lesson or two from this experience. Number one, don't wait till the night before a project is due to do it-duh. And number two, next time something comes up like this, I really need to touch base with his teacher and ask her to bring it down a notch or twenty, because my ulitmate goal in just about anything he does is to set him up for success and not asking for modifications did not do this.

Now, rehearsing with him to answer if asked "Yes, mom and I worked on it together!" is a whole other confession!

My Week in Review, if Anyone Cares......

2008-11-15T13:58:00.000-06:00

I was really trying to come up with something clever for my latest post, something informative or inspiring. But since my last post, nothing truly interesting or exciting has happened Autistically speaking for us. It was an extremely long and irritating week.

Let me preface things by saying that I don't like being inconvenienced, and this week seemed to be full of inconveniences.

Monday began with Casey's visit with his doc, which I blogged about. The visit itself wasn't so much an inconvenience as was the timing, and the drive. I made the appointment for 6:45 pm. What the hell was I thinking. I tried of course to change it when I realized my error but it's hard to change an appointment time on the day of.

Tuesday was really irritating because I had a gyno appointment and we all know how fun those are ladies! On top of that, I scheduled it midday, it ended up taking over 2 hours and my whole work schedule was a screwy mess!

Wednesday of course couldn't be free. Teacher conference at 6 pm. I also watched my friends 2 boys because the schools had half days. I really don't mind babysitting her kids, they are sweet and I think Case enjoys having them over, but it reminds me why I only had one child. The teacher conference was OK, and oddly seemed to circulate around the whole subject matter of Casey moving over to another classroom as I explained in another post. Weird. I am going to go and view the class next week and make my decision. I am leaning towards the change. That could be a whole other blog entry so I'll stop there. After the conference, we had a bit of fun while dining with my sister Sue and her hubby who were in town for his work. It was nice to sit and have a beer and some fattening grub and catch up.

Thursday by far was the most dreaded day of the week for me. I had to work with my boss and her boss, and I could go on and on about the stress and anxiety I felt all week prior, but I won't. I slept little the night before and when I did, I had dreams about not making it to meet them on time, junk like that, and then my alarm went off at 5 am. Luckily, my sister who was visiting was able to take Case while I worked which took a bit of the load off. I just so hate working with my boss and being watched over. One of the benefits of my job is that I never have anyone watching over me and I loooove that. So when it happens, it's extremely stressful and I just always feel inadequate. Add on my bosses boss into the equation, and well, my head just about explodes! Thankfully, my boss arrived alone, explaining hers left early! Yay, so now the day will only be half as bad!.....and it was, and it's over, and that's all I'll say about it.

So, Friday came and went with nothing big and that was awesome. I worked, my friend whose kids I watched picked up Casey so I could do so, I bought another Betta (shut up friends and family who make fun of me! I thought Gil was dying...he's not), and we went swimming last night and relaxed and it was like, aaaahhhhhhh.

I hope I don't have another week like that for a long time. I won't say "again" because I know that's just too much to wish for!

Awesomeness!

2008-11-12T07:55:00.000-06:00

Please watch this. I'm not moved to tears much anymore when it comes to Autism, but I was watching this because it's not sad, it gives hope.

If they can have schools for the blind, and the deaf, then this kind of school in the piece should be the norm!

Uneventful, but Satisfying Doctor Visit

2008-11-11T05:34:00.001-06:00

Last night we had an appointment with our doctor, who is sorta kinda a DAN doc. We started seeing him because we knew our insurance would cover it, and we have seen some changes in Case with his guidance on supplementation. We had gone to another awesome DAN doctor, but just that one appointment was over $700 out of pocket. Needless to say, we went with this current doc, since we could forsee each and every visit and consultation costing that much and more, with no insurance assistance in sight.

He's ok, sort of overwhelmed it seems, a little scary sometimes. But, I maintain that what he has suggested for us has helped Casey with his speech, eye contact, and focus (here and there). He's still Autistic, always will be dammit. But it's just like anything else, people take vitamins to stay healthy. They take Vit. C to prevent colds, St. John's Wart to improve their mood, calcium to strengthen their bones. Thusly, I see nothing wrong with giving Casey things that have come from nature, and not labs, to help him be the best he can be.

So, I think I've justified why we take him to this guy. I'm not about "curing". I am not Jenny M., although I wish I had her figure!

I told Casey about the appointment yesterday afternoon so as not to cause too much worry. He hates doctor visits (who doesn't?). He quickly told me then and throughout the time preceeding our appointment, that "this is not a check-up, no shots, no blood pressure check, no heart thing!". Yeah ok....

Anyhoot, during our appointment, Casey was very high strung, having a lot of anxiety. At our first appointment in June, blood had been drawn, a rather terrifying experience for him. On our second, the doc administered a b-12 shot on him, to see if we saw changes. We did. On the 3rd visit, he showed me, yes me, how to administer a b-12 shot and had me do it right then and there. All these experiences have added up to trauma for Case, and thus his anxiety.

The doc seemed tired, it was their late business hours day. We discussed a few things (one of which thrills me to no end, and that is stopping the b-12 shots to see if it's something else helping him that we have been giving at the same time). He said Casey had gained 7lbs since July (I didn't tell him I probably did too) but said his BMI was good. He grew an inch or so too, in 4 months. Scary!

Casey was spinning around on the doctors chair, one of those stool things with wheels. Suddenly out of the blue, he goes "I'm in the Olympics, and this is my sport!". The doc looked at me, and I him and we cracked up. Something in the doctor's face suddenly took on a happier feel, as if he felt something he was doing for this kid was working.

There were no shots tonight, no blood pressure taking, no heart thing.

And with that, he prescribed some new item to try, and our appointment was done, much to the joy and happiness of one little boy who was on his way to the elevator before I was finished paying my co-pay....

Regression, or New Reflections?

2008-11-06T18:53:00.000-06:00

I was recently discussing with my friend Rebecca how Casey is totally into The Wiggles again. Her own kids are 9 and 6. They like High school Musical, Hanna Montana, and Pikachu or whatever it's called. In other words they enjoy age appropriate entertainment. Ironically, she and her hubby had just been reminisicng about how much their family enjoyed The Wiggles oh so long ago. We had even gone together to see them live about 5 years ago. But when she brought it up to the kids, they looked mesmerized, with no memory of them. It made her sad. I jokingly said something to the affect that "See, ya need a kid with Autism so you can relive this stuff over and over again."

I have noted in reading blogs of other Autism parents that many of their older kids still watch videos that technically are way too young for them. For instance I know one mom who mentioned her over 10 year old child was really into looking up "Barney" clips on YouTube. Lately, along with The Wiggles, Barney has made a reappearance in Casey's viewing repertoire as well.

At first it bothered me a little. Barney seemed okay in the day, but wow, now when I watch, it hits me how, well for a lack of a better word, queer it is. The kids over act, the songs are irritatingly catchy and everything is just so" goody two shoes". The Wigglesare pretty goofy too, but the songs are way better, and it's a bit more watchable for me. It's almost that his sudden re interest in something that he liked when he was 3 or 4 comes off as a bit of a regression.

Watch ability aside, the more I am forced to watch with him so he won't rewind certain bits and watch the accompanying previews 30 times, I am struck by how really beneficial these videos could be in some ways to him. Barney particularly offers some very basic but steady lessons in social skills. The kids are always greeting each other appropriately, friendship is a focal point, politeness is always displayed. Heck, diversity is also huge in the Barney videos, which feature African American, Hispanic, and Asian children playing together in harmony. So, really at this point in Casey's young life, how can watching this be be worse for him than watching some silly episode of Hanna Montana where the kids are overly cynical, they're usually getting in trouble for humor's sake, and everything is as basically as unrealistic as the Barney videos anyway? "Age appropriate" doesn't always mean "appropriate", that's for sure!

Casey even asks me questions about the episodes, which leads me to think he is analyzing things more, getting more out of it.
He's noticing things, like that Gregg Wiggle left at some point, or that Barney isn't around when big people are in the scene. Wow, I didn't even notice these things really. I say anything that prompts a conversation has to be good. So, I say bring on The Wiggles, bring on Barney!

My kid, as do many kids with Autism, seeks out comfort and sameness, and I think in a way he finds both in these videos. But, I think he's also discovering more, and therefore, watching these again in my opinion cannot be considered regressive, but just, reflective!

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2008-11-05T06:06:00.000-06:00

YAY!

Another Soccer Season Ends

2008-11-03T13:50:00.000-06:00

Casey has been involved in Topps Soccer for about the last year now. They have 2 sessions, Spring and Fall, and the Fall one ended yesterday. This is a pretty leisurely, purposefully unstructured team, which is a great thing for Case.

They simply bring the kids out on the field, do the warm up, and then divide them into teams and let 'em at it. Parents of course are encouraged to go on the field to help their kids or whoever might need assistance. Bill and Casey have gone this past session almost exclusively while I chose to stay home for a little "me" time. I figure it's good for them to bond over sports and Bill being a former Special Olympics coach (ironically way before Casey was ever in the picture) loves being involved.

We've seen Casey's skills improve over the last couple of months. He even got a little angry and talked some trash when someone kicked his ball out of the goal!
He actually tries to get in there and kick the ball. Often he gets lost on which goal is his or where he even needs to kick the ball, but he does have fun at least trying and the fresh air and excercise are always good things! He's number 10 there in the photo, doing his best! The cool thing is no one seems to care. It's all about fun!

At the end of each season the parents line up and form a tunnel the kids run through, and love.
Then they go and have a pizza feast. While they eat the coaches present trophies, which they get every time.

Case doesn't usually get too excited about this part, but this time, when his name was called, he seemed a little more interested, shouting something that I'm pretty sure he got from a tv show about "You deserve a trophy!".

And of course to top things off, the team posed for a group photo. By the looks of things everyone was pretty happy about their trophies! I'm really glad Case gets a chance to be part of a team, and I'm especially glad that with each passing season, being part of a team seems to mean more to him!

Halloween Recap

2008-11-02T09:36:00.000-06:00

I got repremanded last night by a dear friend who has me on his RSS feed, because the other blogs he follows have 10 entries a day, whereas he's lucky to see one from me, every other day! Well Mr. DJ, I don't get paid to do this stuff like some of those fancy bloggers out there! So, I felt I better blog a little something about Halloween, since it indeed has been a couple of days since my last entry!

Honestly, it wasn't too exciting! Bill and I attended Casey's Halloween party at school which was cute, but thought provoking in an uncomfortable way (this will probably be fodor for my next entry). They made cookies and played games, ate cookies, and danced. Casey really seemed to enjoy it until he started saying he could hear voices of "Toy Story 2" in French in his head. I did a calming pressure maneuver on him and beat it out of there. I think our prescence was throwing him off a bit.

Later, we went trick or treating with some friends who live nearby. Case didn't really want go at first, letting us know he'd much prefer to stay on the computer. But once he got going, he had fun. His costume was perfect for the weather we had, and it was nice not to have to put a coat over it. He did a great job walking up and saying "Trick or Treat" and holding his bag open. His only downfall was trying to watch people's tvs if he could see them, but with a little prompting, he would move on. Due to some costume malfunctions (not my son's) we kinda cut things short and went back home. His dad, who had stayed behind to hand out candy, was ready to take him out too so they hit a couple of street blocks, bringing home even more fat inducing fun. Once that was over with, Casey was done. He didn't even look at the candy he gathered, just not that important to him! In fact, he didn't even eat any of it. Dad and I did, but he didn't...... Go figure.

And so, the evening ended with us and my bro-in-law sipping adult beverages and watching "Night of the Living Dead" and Casey happily ensconced in his room watching "The Wiggles". It was a quiet but satisfying Halloween.

Cool Natural Health Stuff I Want to Share

2008-10-31T08:26:00.000-05:00

Last night I went with my dear friend Paulette to a little talk on healthy remedies and lifestyle. The woman, Judy, who presented it is just a mom (silly thing to say-just a mom) who has done tons of research and used everything she talked about. I met her recently when I went with another dear friend to a "workshop" she also gave on keeping a healthy home with natural stuff. The natural line of products is called Melaleuca, and I am just in love with it. I sorta promised myself that I wasn't going to blog about it because I didn't want people to think I'm selling it, because I'm not. But it's just one of those things where when you try something that you really like, you want everyone you know to try it too. If you're interested in hearing about it or want to know more, email me, I'll hook ya up!

Anyway, back to last night. Most of her talk was on healthy remedies for common illnesses we all get throughout the winter months, colds, flus, viruses. I thought I would share a few things she mentioned so if you want to do your own research you can.

One thing I have to mention first and foremost because I actually did it this past weekend was her suggestions for sinus infection and inflammation. Crap, ok, now that I think of it, this goes back to Melaleuca, sorry. Sorta the premise for many of their products is that they contain Melaleuca Oil, or tea tree oil. Seriously, this will tell you what it does here So, I have this crappy sinus infection all weekend, and I'm ready to call the doc on Monday. I was using my netti pot and if you're not familiar, look up Sinucleanse (not a Melaleuca item so see, I'm not trying to make money) and decided since Melaleuca oil is a natural germ killer, maybe a few drop sin the water of my netti pot would help kill the infection. I did this Saturday and Sunday, multiple times. It was weird, and I wasn't sure if it would work, but the infection was gone by Monday morning, so no doc, no antibiotics, and as a result of antibiotics usually, no yeast infection (sorry to any males reading this). I asked Judy about this last night and she highly agreed with my course of action and said I should do it daily to fight off more infections.

She also told us about how if you are feeling a cold or some sickness coming on to use grapefruit seed extract oil to fight it off. It's a natural antibiotic and is extremely strong. She suggests up to 15 drops in orange juice several times a day when you are starting to feel bad. You can use it on the kids too, just use as much as you can get away with before they say it tastes bad. You have to stir it a lot too or it will sink down to the bottom of your cup. This is the one she uses and several gals there had used it too and said it was good and lasted a long time. Also, she made a point of saying if you are on any heart or blood pressure medication, not to use this as it makes your medication not work.

Now here's a weird one, and one I don't know that I'll try, but so basic, it's almost worth trying once. She actually said that when she is getting sick she does a combination of stuff including, cutting up a garlic clove in small chunks and swallowing it down with milk. It sounds so gross to me, but garlic is supposed to be really excellent for you, and a natural antibiotic. Judy said swallowing (not chewing) it with milk helps you not to get stomach upset from it. If I ever try this, I'll be sure to give all my friends and family fair warning to stay away, and let you know if it helps!

Another item she shared, and we got to try was ginger water. She simply got fresh ginger, peeled it, and cut off a few chunks and threw it in boiling water. She said to take the ginger out after about 15 minutes or it would be too strong to drink. After doing this, you can sip it all day, hot or cold, and you can add lemon and honey for taste. We all tried it, and agreed it was not offensive at all, and kinda reminded me of weak herbal tea. It apparantly is yet another way to stave off sickness, naturally, easily, and in this case, a little more pleasantly.

She offered some more suggestions such as the use of oil of oregano and colloidal silver. You can research these on your own because she really didn't discuss them enough for me to give you valuable info, but I know they seem to be good things to use to fight off sickness as well.

Also, if you take vitamins, she suggested doubling up on them when you feel like you're getting sick. Judy actually mentioned doing many of these things together to really fight off whatever is trying to attack. And do it all for more than just a day, even if you start feeling better.

I hope I haven't bored any of you too much, because if you are already reading to this point, then you must have been interested. I don't want to get sick, but it's sorta nice to know some alternatives before I have to run myself, Bill, or Casey to the doctor. And aren't things almost always better if they're natural?

Here are some books that she recommended as well....

Herbal Antibiotics by Steven Buhner
and
Prescription for Nutritional Healing

If you have used any of these natural remedies or have others please share.

Doctor Comes out Against Vaccines and Autism Connection

2008-10-30T13:59:00.000-05:00

For those of us in the Autism blogging world, Autismvox is a website well known. Kristina Chew, the writer of this blog was interviewed in this piece that they showed onThe Today Show . If you missed you it, here it is. I wish they would have talked to her more. It was cool to see her and her family. The whole segment is on a book by a doctor who sticks to the idea that vaccines do not cause Autism. If you haven't seen it, take a look.....and then if you feel the need read my two cents after......

Interesting no? I have never been one to think too much about vaccinations in terms of them causing Casey's Autism. He always showed signs, always. Now, could the hep b vaccine that he got the first day of his life have caused something? We will never know. I have always bordered on being quite bored with this whole topic in general, and when people have asked me if I thought shots caused Casey to be Autistic, I say no. Now, my sort of laissez faire attitude towards this shouldn't be misconstrued as not careing about the whole issue. I do have friends who swear vaccines caused their child's Autism. I'm more or less dismissive of the whole thing because I think Casey was born this way, much like Kristina said of her son Charlie.

I did take a stand and stop getting Casey immunized all together at around four years old. That is about the time all this came at me, along with biomed stuff and so on. I chose to stop his immunizations because if there had been damage from prior ones, then why would I continue to put something in him that could possibly be a danger? I agreed with the woman who says that there might be a subset of children who react differently to vaccines. I was never sure, and didn't want to take any chances. To this day, he still hasn't had his full set of immunizations. Oddly, neither did I as a child.

I really try to avoid controversial topics such as this in my blog. I'm more about fun, and sharing stuff about our lives, but I just thought it was an interesting thing that someone would actually threaten a doctor for writing about what he knows a lot about and believes in so strongly. Sometimes, I think people need to get beyond causes, and just get on with life when it comes to their child with Autism!