Another Year, Come and Gone

We're having our transitional IEP today. This means, I'm coming together with Casey's present school staff, and his future high school staff, and blindly making plans for his next scholastic year.

It seems like just yesterday, I was nervously planning for him to go to his middle school, in a cross categorical setting for the first time, changing classes. And now, he's moving on after what we feel were two rocky but clearly beneficial years there. Casey has come a long way in certain ways, gone back in others, stayed stubbornly the same in some, and has many skills yet to emerge.

I feel a little ashamed that I don't have a legal pad page full of ideas, demands, and thoughts to bring up with me today. But then I've always been a play it by ear sort of mom. I do have the tremendous crutch of my dear friend being there with me today; she is a very experienced advocate who knows the laws and rules up and down, and how to play the game. Maybe that's why I haven't gotten too nervous about this one. And if I think from the perspective that my main goal is setting him up for success, it makes things a lot easier.

I know for sure I'm going to demand physical activity beyond gym class be part of his IEP. It's a must for this boy, who only sits still if he has a computer or some other electronic device of interest in front of him. Casey needs walks, jumps, whatever kind of good propreoceptive input he can get, and it seems this need gets stronger the older he gets. Sitting in a classroom for 45 minutes at time just isn't in his makeup. Sometimes I have to wonder if it's in any kids, and those that seems to be able, how much are they really taking in?

I also feel he still needs a one on one para. Someone not there to hover, but to make sure he doesn't disrupt class because he's not getting the aforementioned movement breaks. Someone to steer him in the right direction. Someone to make sure he comes out of the bathroom and doesn't walk down to the cafeteria when it's not time for lunch. Little things like that, someone to work on an individual basis with him. This is another necessity.

I might throw out too the need for an Alpha Smart, although they seem to poo poo this every year, but I think I'm going to take a stand on this one this year, siting his ability to get his thoughts out much better via keyboard then struggling to write them. Yes, for sure the Alpha Smart.

I'd also like to bring up that I want him to be happy, anxiety free, not bullied, have all the kids act nice to him and include him in everything they do, get really good grades, take in all that is presented to him, behave at all times, participate readily in class, and get straight "A"s....

Yes, I know, dream on. But if I'm lucky, and if we do things right, I don't know why some of that can't come true!

PS Now that he's 5'10, and he's only thirteen, perhaps the bullying isn't even a consideration!

Bus Brewhaha

Casey came home from school today just full of conversation, which is always a joy! However, today's conversation was troubling to be sure, and his sudden disconnects after telling me a few tid bits and stating a few thoughts doesn't help matters.

First came the revelation that the kids on the bus told Casey they were going to church after he got off the bus, at least according to Casey. Also, he said they then told him that him they were all going back to school after that. He wasn't sure why, and he seemed confused. I'm pretty sure these kids were screwing with him, or, they were talking amongst themselves being silly, and Casey overheard their conversation.

Hoping the latter, I couldn't help but think back on the stories my wonderful friend and neighbor told me about her oldest son with Aspergers, and how the kids at school would mess with him, him getting into trouble because they coercsed him into doing things he didn't know were wrong, all for the sake of being part of a group of friends.

It made me think, that, if in fact the kids on the bus were messing with Casey, telling him tales out of school, how easily lead he was, and how scary that is. It made me angry too, especially when he continued on.

"I don't want parents to die! I like it when my parents aren't dead!". That line hit me like a punch in the stomach. "Who said that to you Casey, the kids on the bus? Did they say that your parents would die?" I inquired immediately, feeling foolish after the words came out, knowing sometimes you can totally sway his answers with your questions. "No. I don't remember!" he replied, hugging me tight as he said it.

My conspiracy theory mind envisioned the little brats on the bus telling a sweet and guilable Casey that his parents were going to DIE! Little BASTARDS! I then took a deep breath, hugged him back and told him had nothing to worry about, ending my inquisition about the bus brats. I knew I had reached our conversation threshold, and he was ready for some computer time and a snack.

This experience probably isn't the first for Casey, but it is the first time he's relayed so much info about it to me. I'm glad he did. I find it hard to believe the bus driver didn't try to stop such shinanigans or at least let me know it was going on when I got him off the bus. Then again, it's kid stuff, kids do this kind of stuff, especially Middle School kids. Plus the kids on Casey's bus also have impairments, disabilities, learning disabilities, whatever you want to call them. The average maturity level is even a bit lower than that of typical immature Middle Schoolers.

So how does one stop this sort of thing or make sure it doesn't get out of hand, short of taking him off the bus, whihc he seems to enjoy? Well, tell me! I don't know!!!...


Ha, you thought I would have an answer didn't you!

Say it Loud and Say it Proud!

I've never, ever liked the bumper stickers people have on their, of course, bumpers that read "My Child is an Honor Roll Student at Whatever School". They didn't have those back in my school days, and my mom would never have put it on her car's bumper to begin with ("Bumper stickers are trashy!" she would say.) I always felt they were a bit braggish, and extremely corny. I have to admit when some smart ass came up with the "My kid can kick your Honor Student's ass" bumper stickers in rebellion, I enjoyed those a little more, but they were even trashier!

Having said that, I just put a "window cling" (a much classier option than a bumper sticker someone has decided) that reads "My Child is an Honor Roll Student at F---- Middle School" in the rear window of my company car (hope the boss never notices). Casey brought the "cling" home along with a nifty black ribbon that said the same and a letter from the principal extolling the virtues of our magnificent student who maintained a B+ average this first marking period. I am beaming with pride, and thus felt so inclined to apply the "cling" to the let world know he is in fact, on the Honor Roll!

My whole mindset it seems, has changed, I'm realizing more and more over the past several months. The "cling" represents the different outlook I have on Casey. Gone are the days of Autism Awareness ribbons slapped on the back of my car for all the world so to see. I want the world to see we have an Honor Roll Student in my car, and not someone they should pity, or be curious of or worse, be frightened of.

I want people to know we have a boy who has been on a soccer league, a baseball league, taken dance and briefly, piano lessons. I want people people to know that our boy can skate with full hockey gear on, that he swims on a swim team and has won ribbons for doing so. It doesn't matter what kind of league, or team, it just matters that he's done them. I want people to know he creates brilliant animated shorts on the computer and can write stories, and can comprehend what he reads, and understands what is said to him. I want people to know he's hilarious.

Yes, the colorful Autism Awareness ribbons are gone. I don't want his Autism to define him at all, and in fact, I don't want to define Autism anymore to people when they learn somehow he has it. Frankly, I don't even care to use the word "Autism" unless it's absolutely necessary. I'm not ashamed to use it, but I have never known a word that can suck the life out of a situation or conversation like Autism often does. You may or may not understand that but trust me. I might get some flack for that one, but it's my blog.

And so, my joy and pride in applying my cling, despite my former feelings on honor roll student advertisements, may be more acceptable and better understood now. He is a person on the honor roll and so,so much more!

Sickness Befalls Us....

I'm just going to pretend that 3 months and lots of stuff didn't pass by, and that my blog is completely current and up to date! I ask that you do the same!

This was just one of those weekends. Bill started out coming down with the flu on Friday, and this is the real flu, not a stomach virus. He's had the chills, aches, pains, coughing, you name it. He swiftly retired to the boudoir after getting home from work and has pretty much been there since. Casey and I kept a respectful distance, and I washed hands profusely! Loading up on Vitamin C, I was confident I wouldn't be affected.

The weekends are sorta hard enough, trying to keep Casey off the computer and busy. The extreme cold doesn't help and the cancellation of plans due to Bill's illness doesn't help either! So, I took the "glass half full' attitude and decided I would entertain Casey on my own and make his weekend fun. No worries.

But, when I woke up Saturday morning, that familiar tickle in my throat began to irritate, alerting me to an oncoming sickness. I plowed through the day in denial, taking Case for a workout, to lunch, to the library. However, as I stood watching him making his selections in the video section, I knew Bill had breathed on me too much! Damn Bill! How dare he breathe!

My body started to ache and an itchy, irritating cough erupted from my sore throat. Rushing Casey along, I told myself, it's just a cold, I'm fine. Yeah. I'm fine.

Later that evening, Bill and I both sounded like we were hacking up a lung, and Bill was shivering with his robe, a hoodie, and sweat pants on under blankets. The outlook for much more fun this weekend was grim.

The night was sleepless, due to that lousy feeling, the cats making noise, and having drank diet Pepsi at lunch time! (Yes, I'm old, caffeine effects me badly sometimes!) Despite feeling like total crap today, I was still telling myself, I was okay. I could get him out and do some things. So what if I was shivering and I sounded like a lifetime smoker when I coughed! I was cooool.

We ventured out again, to the pet shop, to Quiznos, and as I considered swimming, I told myself I really need to give up. I felt like crap.

I've been laying around ever since, shivering, coughing, feeling horrible. Casey has been trying his hardest to be comforting, but couldn't fight the urge to come into the living room where I lay, griping about how this was not a fun weekend at all! I apologized limply, feeling guilty that it wasn't, and slightly irritated at his lack of sympathy. Why was I irritated by this, or surprised? Tough emotion for kids, and especially those on the spectrum!

Bill and I made a pact, as we lay side by side coughing, that we would make it up to him next weekend!.... Fingers crossed the 3,000 mg of Vitamin C a day I've been giving Case keeps this bug out of him!

Time Flys When Things are Up in the Air!

Wowzer! I cannot believe we are 5 weeks into school and I have yet to post a single entry on my beloved BLOG.

The summer flew by pretty much without a hitch. Camp was great, Casey loved it and really had a wonderful time. We struggled with the last couple of weeks of no camp/no school to keep him tended to and busy. But other than that, a really, really lovely summer was had by all!

Having said that, I spent much time this summer, despite all the pleasantness, being a bit anxiety ridden over the approaching school year and what it had in store for our boy. Going back through my previous posts, I noticed a huge lack of info regarding his 7th grade year. I'm wondering if I was just avoiding the issue, or was being lazy, or both.

If it was because I was avoiding the issue, that would be due to our big decision to put him in a new setting for his 7th grade year at a whole new school. For years now, he's been in what is referred to in our district as an "AI' program, or for all of you who have trouble with acronyms as I do, an "Autistically Impaired" program. In short, usually a small group, 4 to 5 students with 2 paraprofessionals and a teacher. This has been his life at school since he was about 1 and 1/2 years old. It's very controlled, good in some ways, not good in others. We have been lucky to have great teachers and paras. The concept of the AI class for Casey was probably a bit of a mistake after about 4th grade.

But, and that's a big "but", he was safe, and worse yet, he was always the star of the show! He was always the highest functioning in his group. If I had had a "Casey" in his room with him, I would have been thrilled as a parent.

A dear friend of mine who is also my advocate, and in a way, a mentor in all things educationally related with our kids, was constantly pushing for her son to be in regular ed. based on all her vast knowledge on Inclusion she had gained from numerous conferences she's attended and books she has read. I kept Casey in the AI, because I didn't go to a lot of conferences, I didn't read a lot of books. He was safe in the AI rooms. Was she nuts to send her guy out into the real world?

I think in hindsight, my friends belief that inclusion was the best thing for many of our kids was rubbing off on me, but not to the point that she was at. So, 5th and 6th grade came and went. I got a bee in my bonnet, and forced some issues with him being in what is called the Cross Categorical classrooms part of the day then. This Cross Cat., for short, is a program for children who have varying "disablitiies" and not necessarily Autism. They run the program pretty much like a regular ed. program, but with many modifications to help the kids get through the day on their terms. I felt safe still, knowing that there were paras in that program as well. And those kids weren't "typical" either.

But, it never really worked for him, especially in 5th grade, when there were just too many transitions, and a special ed. teacher, who believe it or not, admitted she had little knowledge on teaching children with Autism! Going back and forth between AI and Cross Cat. with different rules and paces and kids was a lot for him to handle. Not until they actually scheduled time with the Cross Cat. for all the AI kids did it ever really work for him. Structure. That's all it takes usually.

And so, once I saw how well he was doing with being in Cross Cat. part of the day in the 6th grade, it hit me that perhaps it would work all the time, and that he needed the chance to experience this full time. This decision became cemented in my brain after going to the Open House for the school he would be attending in 7th grade.

Long story sorta short, I went, saw the same almost preschool like setting there, for 7th graders, that he had always been exposed to. The kindly speech therapist showed me the reading curriculum they used, which was something he had done years and years ago. He would go from one room, to another room all day with the same, mostly non verbal kids he was in class with now, while the other 7th graders traversed the faciltiy, going room to room, new experiences, new classes, new kids. There were televisions in the corners of each of the rooms I saw, reminding me of all the notes that would come home during the years saying "They got to watch a video today!" way too much. Was that going to happen there too? One of the teachers from that program pointed out her "time out" area proudly. Most classrooms don't have a "time out" area. And when another family whose child was clearly typical, accidentally made their way into this classroom, they seemed almost mortified to find out from this teacher that it was "a classroom for children with Autism, but you might get to volunteer to come down and be with them and read to them when school starts!". The family quickly made their way out. My heart sank, and promises to myself were quickly made.

With tears in my eyes, I told myself, and later that night, my dear and supportive hubby, that Casey was not going into another AI program. He needed more. Casey would be in the Cross Categorical program at this new school, and he would start from the beginning of the year, and he would not transition from AI to Cross Cat. for part of the day, it would be all day! I told Bill he was not to let me change my mind on this sudden and hard and scary decision. He was all for it, and felt it was right too.

I quickly got in touch with my friend/advocate and told her of my plan. She was in full support and guaranteed me that we were going to make it happen, and that better yet, it would work, and that we would see that it did!

I was exhilerated with my new found courage and wherewithall, and scared out of my mind at the same time! What was I doing to this boy who was about to go to a giant, new middle school?! Second guessing myself became the norm........

to be continued......

I'm Sorry, Do You Ever Use Your Brain?"

That's probably what a nurse or someone with considerable medical knowledge would ask me if they had to chance to see how I've handled Casey's being sick this weekend! I'm such a loser sometimes when it comes to this stuff.

The weekend started off with his acting tired when we went to a festival with our dear friends and their dear children Friday night. As we met and greeted them, we sat a at a table under a tent, discussing the eating and drinking situation, when I noticed Casey looking more than tired. Being accused of over analyzing, I made a slight mention of this, but everyone agreed, and this was the first sign of impending sickness coming our way. But (and this all goes back to the title of this post) we pushed on, and I got him a drink and a corn dog and we sat and socialized while he sat, slumped, sipping his drink and not eating his corn dog (don't worry, Mom ate it, couldn't let it go to waste!).

Then we strolled looking at the crap, I mean craft booths (sorry RK), and he followed along, slowly but surely. I've learned from past experience that the power of suggestion is very strong for Casey, so I kept quietly asking Bill if he looked okay to him. If I made mention to the boy himself if he was feeling well, he would try in this strongest voice to say something to the effect of "I'm not sick! I like the festival!". When we'd seen all we could he said he wanted to sit down. I asked him if he wanted to sit down in our car and go home. He quickly said "Yes!".

The night, all night, he had a fever. I laid with him most of the night, thinking puke might be in the future, trash can close at hand. He tossed and turned and moaned and was just completely uncomfortable. In the morning I had to run to Weight Watchers but promised him a bagel from Panera, 'cause that's what I would want after being sick with a fever all night. Somewhere around that time, I thought that maybe I should be giving him some Motrin, but then, I've heard people temper children's fevers too quick and they don't have time to work and kill whatever infection might be causing the fever. I heard that. So, I shunned the Motrin. You stay hot and miserable Casey, I'll be home with your delicious bagel later!

I went to WW with another dear friend who is a wealth of information a) because she has 3 boys of varying ages and b)she actually reads. Plus, she tends to errors on the side of caution. She began quizzing me on his symptoms, asking if I had looked at his throat. "What was his temp?" she asked. "I don't have a thermometer." I answered, embarrassed that a thermometer hadn't been in our house since we had one of those nifty ear ones when he was a baby, and which had broken several years ago. "I'll let you borrow mine." she offered sweetly, probably thinking "She has no thermometer? Geeze."

As the day progressed, and after giving Casey Motrin finally, he seemed much better. He had been looking forward to a Ronald McDonald Magic Show going on at a local McDonald's (of all places). I debated on whether I should take him. The smarter half of my brain said "don't" while the "oh, he's fine, and he needs to get out" side of my head said "do". My sister called in the midst of my decision making and she encouraged me to take him, because, he's spoiled and she didn't know the extent of his sickness. And so, we did..... I know, idiot. Oh, but it gets better.

He was actually fine at McDonald's, and he thoroughly enjoyed the show, and even participated with ol' Ronald. I then noticed that his hair was sweaty and his back clammy through his shirt. Wow, shouldn't that have been a sign that he shouldn't be out? The Motrin was stopping it's magic. We ate and ran after all was said and done. We got home, and he still seemed okay.

It was a lovely day out and he wanted to go swimming. Should I, I wondered again? Maybe the pool would help with his fever..... out in the 90 degree sun you big idiot! Well, so, my dumber side won again and off we went to the pool. Stopping at 7-11 for a Slurpee was the clincher.

As I was paying, the cashier looked behind me and said "Gosh buddy, I didn't know it was so cold in here!" to which I turned to see an uncontrollably shivering Casey. Was it the air conditioner in the store, or the Slurpee? Or the fact that he was sick????????

We got in the car, and he's still shivering despite the rise in temperature coming out the door. Get this one folks! I continued to drive on to the pool! Yes I did! So we got there, and by then, his hand is shaking with the Slurpee in it,he's shivering so hard. But he's still imploring me to go swimming!

Finally, yes, finally, that common sense that seemed to be eluding me ALL day, popped in (especially after I called my smart friend and told her how stupid I had been and she sort of agreed kindly) and we went home.

Well, he fell asleep under two comforters after I gave him more Motrin. Guess he wasn't feeling well! Duh......

He had a great rest of the evening, and we did too, even though we canceled plans to go out to a concert. We were good parents that way!

This morning, he woke feverish again, and threw up. And now, he seems fine again. But guess what, I'm not taking him anywhere. Not one place! He's staying in the house the rest of the day, even if he's doing somersaults and reciting Shakespeare! Pretty smart huh? Good parenting huh? 'Bout time!

But in all fairness to me, although the boy is very verbal, he still has problems telling me how he feels, and that is further perpetuated by the fact that he is in denial when he is sick. He will fight till the end, he hates being sick. He could have his finger cut off (God forbid ) and he wouldn't let me take him to the hospital. I was trying to follow his cues instead of his symptoms, which was dumb, but, it's not the first time. Hopefully, it will be the last

Shameless Self Promotion, and the Only Time it Will Happen!

Okay, I know this blog is centered all around my darling boy, I know this. But, since it is my blog, I feel that I can use this forum to shamelessly inform my multitudes of readers who don't experience my obnoxious self promotion on Facebook, that, I now own my own business. Drumroll please... I am a Independent Team Beachbody coach!

So what does this mean?

I represent Beachbody, a company that makes health and fitness products! Perhaps you've seen infomercials for P90X, or read here about the joy of Turbo Jam. That's where my real interest in the products started! I love Turbo Jam, and it has really changed my body.



Then, they came out with a new product, Shakeology and that one sent me over the edge. It's a fabulous product. It's a nutrition shake that you can replace a meal with or just drink after a workout or before. It's amazing and it's given me so much energy. I fell for the stuff, and wanted to get others to try it, and thus, my new business began. Here's me talking about it in case you wanna know why I love it. You can also go to www.myshakeology.com/esuite/home/boncasey and learn all about the product from the experts!



Sorry that's so huge.

So anyway, that's it in a nutshell. I would love for you to come to my site and check out all the great products. SIgn up for the free membership, and I'll become your coach and you can peruse the site and get free recipes and health info. It's a great site. You can even have your own own calendar where you can track your workouts! Just go towww.turbobonbon.com and check it out!!!! If you have any questions about the products or workouts feel free to leave it here in the comments section or hit the contact button on www.turbobonbon.com. So far, I've done Turbo Jam and Chalene Extreme and am planning on starting Turbo Fire, the latest and greatest at www.turbobonbon.com

Oh, and by the way, I've lost 40 lbs with these work outs, which you can find at www.turbobonbon.com

Okay, that's it, I'm done! Back to Casey......